I slipped into the back corner of the library where computers lined the wall. I sat down at the one in the corner, to allow myself some privacy if anyone else showed. Most people had access to the Internet at home, so I was usually left to myself.
I pulled up the search page and typed in Silver Lake Hospital. There were endless pages for the facility. Even though Ryder was a minor when Katie died and his name left from the news, the online articles all had lengthy comment sections where others were not as quiet about his identity. I was hoping for another lucky lead.
“You’re not going to find patient information on the Internet.” Ryder’s voice in my ear caused me to jump. I spun around, my eyes scanning the empty room.
“You forgot your shoes.” He glanced down at my bare feet as he held up a pair of my sandals.
“I left in a hurry.”
“So you did.” He tossed the shoes on the ground, the sound echoing in the quiet space.
“You want me to thank you?” I snapped as I grabbed the shoes and strapped them on my feet. He laughed, shaking his head in frustration.
“Last night was all the thanks I need.”
I narrowed my eyes as he smirked.
“Fuck you.”
“We did that already. I just want to talk.” He tilted his head, eyebrow raised as he waited for me to decide what I wanted. “Come on, Ella. I’m trying to be nice here.”
“It takes a lot for effort for you, doesn’t it?”
“At the moment, yes.” He rubbed his hand along his jaw, clearly losing his patience. “You know I’m not going to hurt you. If you thought so, you would have screamed by now.”
I knew if he didn’t care, had no feelings, he would have hurt me last night. Instead he forced himself to be easy with me, even when I didn’t want him to be. Ryder was raw and unfiltered. He acted on impulse, but that didn’t mean he was a bad person. He wasn’t going to do anything to me, and that included causing a scene in public, just like in the parking lot.
“I’m sorry I threatened you.”
“You’re not forgiven.”
“Don’t you have something to say to me?”
“No.”
“You don’t want to apologize for pulling a gun on me?”
“I’m leaving.” I walked around him, keeping my eyes ahead as I made my way to the door. I could hear his footsteps behind me, but I didn’t quicken my pace. I knew I needed him, but trusting him or anyone was too hard for me to do. I was stubborn and didn’t like that he always had the upper hand.
Stepping outside, I was thankful for the cloud coverage that cloaked the world in an eerie gray. As much as I was trying to avoid spilling the truth to Ryder, I couldn’t deny that I felt safer knowing he was behind me.
I walked slowly as his SUV crept beside me with his windows down. I refused to look at him. For once the heat wasn’t oppressive. I enjoyed being able to gather my thoughts and figure out where I was going to go from here with what I needed to do. A few sporadic drops landed on me, and I pretended not to notice.
“You’re acting like a child,” Ryder called out, not bothering to hide the irritation in his voice.
“Better than what you’re acting like.” I bit my lip to hide my smirk.
“And what’s that, Ella?” His voice rose as if he was being playful, something I wasn’t entirely sure he was capable of.
I couldn’t help but glance over at him, my irritation evaporating. He had a way of making me forget. “You’re a dick.”
“You want my dick?” His voice carried, and I ducked my head in embarrassment, not certain if anyone else was around.
I began to walk faster, and he had to pass another car to stay beside me.
“Come on, Ella. You can do better than that.”
“I could always do this.” I slipped between two buildings. I heard him shout a curse, and the engine accelerated behind me as he hurried to come around the block. I waited for the engine sound to fade into the distance before slipping back out the way I’d come and walking back in the direction of the library, the raindrops falling heavy now.
I knew I was poking a bear, and part of me enjoyed knowing that as angry as I made Ryder, he held back. It was a twisted feeling, but not one I’d experienced before. The men who’d come before him in my life didn’t think twice about hurting me. There was a safety in this feeling, and I needed to know he wouldn’t give up on me like others had.
I continued by the library and hurried down Chester Avenue. My eyes darted behind me whenever I’d hear a vehicle approach, unable to breathe until it passed me by.
I’d almost made it to Langley Park when a pair of headlights blinded me and the vehicle rolled to a stop just a few feet away. I hesitated before slowly approaching it. The driver door opened, and Ryder stepped out into the street, rain beating down on him. He looked like he was ready for a foot chase if necessary.
“You don’t take a hint,” I called out, but his expression didn’t soften, and I knew I might have gone too far.
“Get in the f**king car, Ella.”
“Since you asked so nicely.” I started to walk by the vehicle, and he moved behind it to cut me off at the rear end. Grabbing my shoulders, he pressed me against the back of the SUV. I couldn’t help but fixate on the drop of water that ran over his lower lip. I wanted to lick it off him, making it very hard to maintain my anger. But Ryder had a way of bringing it out in people, and he didn’t waste a moment.
“Get in the f**king car. You’re going to give me answers.”
“And if I say no?”
He smirked, dimples settling into his tanned cheeks as he leaned closer, his eyes falling to my lips before raising them again. “You didn’t say no last night.”
Just like that I melted, and I knew he saw it because the air around us seemed to change, charged with electricity and begging for that connection.
He lowered his voice, and I knew he was struggling not to let the sexual attraction between us cloud his judgment.
“Come with me, Ella.” The way he spoke, his words sounded explicit even when I knew it wasn’t what he meant. I sucked in a ragged breath, feeling like I couldn’t get enough air in my lungs. The oxygen supply to my brain felt cut short. Flashes of my legs wrapped around his h*ps and our bodies moving together filled my thoughts. He leaned closer, inhaling the scent of my hair before whispering into my ear.
“I could always make you.”
My lips parted, but I couldn’t form a response as he pulled back, his mouth hovering over mine, our breathing shallow and lost in the moment. His hand left my shoulder, and he slammed his palm against the damp window next to my head, snapping himself out of the moment. I startled, but I knew his anger was directed inward.
“Get in the f**king car.” His tone was harsh and unlike anything I’d heard when he was in bed with me last night.
“Make me.” My childish tone made me cringe, but he was so incredibly frustrating, I couldn’t help myself.
His mouth twisted in a half smile as he grabbed my waist, bending over so he could lift me onto his shoulder.
“You f**king ass**le! Put me down!”
He walked to the passenger side of the car, ignoring my fists that pounded against his back. “I asked you nicely.”
“Pfft. That’s what you consider nice?” I snapped as he opened the door and lowered me to my feet, caging me between him and the seat.
“Get in.” He stepped forward, pressing his body against mine. I had no choice but to sit down or let my brain turn to mush again just from being in such close proximity to him.
“Dick,” I muttered under my breath as he closed the door, laughing. Jogging around the front of the vehicle, he got in, running his hand over his wet hair and sending water droplets sprinkling around him.
“Beautiful day.” The engine roared to life with the push of a button, and we pulled out, driving quickly through the wet streets. “Put on your seat belt. Can never be too safe.”
I scowled but pulled the belt across my lap and clicked it into place. “I want my things back.”
“They’re yours. I just want some answers.”
I tried to ignore the tightening in my chest. There were certain things I never spoke about. Certain memories I didn’t want to relive.
Ryder pulled out his phone and called the hotel, extending his stay for another night.
“I didn’t realize you were leaving today.”
His eyes went to the rearview mirror and back to the road. “I was going to go visit my mother. I have some business to take care of back home.”
“Oh.” We pulled into the parking lot, and I got out of the car, looking out over the lot as I waited for Ryder. He walked by me and continued toward his room. “Is my stuff inside?” I called after him, but he didn’t respond. I followed, hating that I knew this was going to get worse before it got better.
He unlocked the door, leaving it open behind him. I scanned the room, noticing all the belongings were gone.
“Where are my bags?” I crossed my arms over my chest as Ryder walked back to me, reaching over my shoulder and shoving the door closed.
“I can’t play this game with you anymore. It’s f**king up my head, Ella.”
“I’m not playing a game, Ryder. I want my things.”
He reached forward, and I took a step back, pressing myself against the door. “If you touch me, I’ll scream.”
“If I touch you, you’ll scream…and moan…and beg. I’m not going to f**king hurt you. Whoever has f**ked up your head, Ella, I’m not them. I just need answers.”
“I don’t have any.” I reached behind me, pulling open the door, glaring as I slipped back outside. I walked quickly across the lot to the band’s SUV and yanked open the back door. Inside were Ryder’s duffel bag and my bags. I put my book bag on my shoulders and turned to leave, shrieking when I almost collided with Ryder’s chest.
“Get out of my way.” I shoved against his chest and began to walk toward the overhang to get out of the rain. He grabbed his bag and followed after me, throwing it against the door of his room.
Bond
Chapter 20—Rellik
Bond: a force or feeling that unites people; a common emotion or interest
“The call you made from my room, who was that?”
She spun around, damp hair clinging to her face, as if she didn’t expect me to know that information.
“You forgot about that, huh? The room was registered to me. I can find out all of that information. You might want to remember that next time you scam someone.”
“I wasn’t scamming you,” she yelled back angrily. “I called someone from my work to let her know I was okay. That’s it.”
“Careful, Ella, you’re not thinking your lies through. I already called the number.”
“No.” Her head shook and her eyes widened.
I nodded as my tongue swept across my lower lip, wiping away the dampness of the rain.
“You wouldn’t have done that.”
I cocked my head to the side and smirked as my eyes narrowed. “Are you sure about that? I think you’d be surprised at the things I would do.”
“Oh God.” Her hand went to her stomach.
“There’s no God here.” I stepped closer, stopping within arm’s reach of her. She looked up, eyes sad and searching mine. “He turned his back on me a long time ago.”
“You really are crazy.” Her eyes narrowed as they searched mine, desperately hoping it was all a sick, twisted joke.
“That hurts. You violated my privacy first, Ella. Of course, I guess this makes us even.”
“What did you tell him? What did you say?”
“Who is he?”
“What did you do?” The absolute terror in her eyes was unlike anything I’d seen before.
I could see the wheels spinning in her head. She shoved her hand into her purse and let it fall to the ground as she held her gun toward me again. Newspaper clippings scattered on the ground around us. I bend down and picked up one of the damp papers with Katie’s face on it. I stood up, eyeing Ella as hate pumped through me.
“I hope you remember what I told you. If you’re going to aim that gun at me, you better pull the f**king trigger.” Her hand shook as I stepped forward, pressing it against my chest. “Pull the trigger, Ella.” I stepped forward again, causing her elbow to bend. “Pull it.”
“I’ll do it. I’ll do it this time.” She shook her head, but I could see the indecision in her eyes.
“Pull the f**king trigger!”
And.
She.
Did.
The click of metal against metal was deafening in our heated state. The look of confusion on her face was priceless as the weapon failed to discharge. I smirked, not out of cockiness, but pride that she finally found the guts to stand up for herself. But it meant nothing. Her weapon was empty, like my heart that she so desperately wanted to quiet.
“No.” She looked down at the weapon as if it would give her answers.
“That’s unfortunate.” I sighed as I grabbed the gun and tossed it to the ground. I’d underestimated her. She was a fighter. But she picked the wrong side.
“Now tell me who you called from the hotel room.”
Her whole body seemed to vibrate with fear as her eyes darted around, landing anywhere but on mine.
“You have no idea what you’ve done.”
“Tell me something I don’t know.” My patience was wearing thin.
“You don’t understand.” She looked down at her shaking hands. I placed my fingers under her chin, tilting her gaze up to meet mine.
I pulled up the search page and typed in Silver Lake Hospital. There were endless pages for the facility. Even though Ryder was a minor when Katie died and his name left from the news, the online articles all had lengthy comment sections where others were not as quiet about his identity. I was hoping for another lucky lead.
“You’re not going to find patient information on the Internet.” Ryder’s voice in my ear caused me to jump. I spun around, my eyes scanning the empty room.
“You forgot your shoes.” He glanced down at my bare feet as he held up a pair of my sandals.
“I left in a hurry.”
“So you did.” He tossed the shoes on the ground, the sound echoing in the quiet space.
“You want me to thank you?” I snapped as I grabbed the shoes and strapped them on my feet. He laughed, shaking his head in frustration.
“Last night was all the thanks I need.”
I narrowed my eyes as he smirked.
“Fuck you.”
“We did that already. I just want to talk.” He tilted his head, eyebrow raised as he waited for me to decide what I wanted. “Come on, Ella. I’m trying to be nice here.”
“It takes a lot for effort for you, doesn’t it?”
“At the moment, yes.” He rubbed his hand along his jaw, clearly losing his patience. “You know I’m not going to hurt you. If you thought so, you would have screamed by now.”
I knew if he didn’t care, had no feelings, he would have hurt me last night. Instead he forced himself to be easy with me, even when I didn’t want him to be. Ryder was raw and unfiltered. He acted on impulse, but that didn’t mean he was a bad person. He wasn’t going to do anything to me, and that included causing a scene in public, just like in the parking lot.
“I’m sorry I threatened you.”
“You’re not forgiven.”
“Don’t you have something to say to me?”
“No.”
“You don’t want to apologize for pulling a gun on me?”
“I’m leaving.” I walked around him, keeping my eyes ahead as I made my way to the door. I could hear his footsteps behind me, but I didn’t quicken my pace. I knew I needed him, but trusting him or anyone was too hard for me to do. I was stubborn and didn’t like that he always had the upper hand.
Stepping outside, I was thankful for the cloud coverage that cloaked the world in an eerie gray. As much as I was trying to avoid spilling the truth to Ryder, I couldn’t deny that I felt safer knowing he was behind me.
I walked slowly as his SUV crept beside me with his windows down. I refused to look at him. For once the heat wasn’t oppressive. I enjoyed being able to gather my thoughts and figure out where I was going to go from here with what I needed to do. A few sporadic drops landed on me, and I pretended not to notice.
“You’re acting like a child,” Ryder called out, not bothering to hide the irritation in his voice.
“Better than what you’re acting like.” I bit my lip to hide my smirk.
“And what’s that, Ella?” His voice rose as if he was being playful, something I wasn’t entirely sure he was capable of.
I couldn’t help but glance over at him, my irritation evaporating. He had a way of making me forget. “You’re a dick.”
“You want my dick?” His voice carried, and I ducked my head in embarrassment, not certain if anyone else was around.
I began to walk faster, and he had to pass another car to stay beside me.
“Come on, Ella. You can do better than that.”
“I could always do this.” I slipped between two buildings. I heard him shout a curse, and the engine accelerated behind me as he hurried to come around the block. I waited for the engine sound to fade into the distance before slipping back out the way I’d come and walking back in the direction of the library, the raindrops falling heavy now.
I knew I was poking a bear, and part of me enjoyed knowing that as angry as I made Ryder, he held back. It was a twisted feeling, but not one I’d experienced before. The men who’d come before him in my life didn’t think twice about hurting me. There was a safety in this feeling, and I needed to know he wouldn’t give up on me like others had.
I continued by the library and hurried down Chester Avenue. My eyes darted behind me whenever I’d hear a vehicle approach, unable to breathe until it passed me by.
I’d almost made it to Langley Park when a pair of headlights blinded me and the vehicle rolled to a stop just a few feet away. I hesitated before slowly approaching it. The driver door opened, and Ryder stepped out into the street, rain beating down on him. He looked like he was ready for a foot chase if necessary.
“You don’t take a hint,” I called out, but his expression didn’t soften, and I knew I might have gone too far.
“Get in the f**king car, Ella.”
“Since you asked so nicely.” I started to walk by the vehicle, and he moved behind it to cut me off at the rear end. Grabbing my shoulders, he pressed me against the back of the SUV. I couldn’t help but fixate on the drop of water that ran over his lower lip. I wanted to lick it off him, making it very hard to maintain my anger. But Ryder had a way of bringing it out in people, and he didn’t waste a moment.
“Get in the f**king car. You’re going to give me answers.”
“And if I say no?”
He smirked, dimples settling into his tanned cheeks as he leaned closer, his eyes falling to my lips before raising them again. “You didn’t say no last night.”
Just like that I melted, and I knew he saw it because the air around us seemed to change, charged with electricity and begging for that connection.
He lowered his voice, and I knew he was struggling not to let the sexual attraction between us cloud his judgment.
“Come with me, Ella.” The way he spoke, his words sounded explicit even when I knew it wasn’t what he meant. I sucked in a ragged breath, feeling like I couldn’t get enough air in my lungs. The oxygen supply to my brain felt cut short. Flashes of my legs wrapped around his h*ps and our bodies moving together filled my thoughts. He leaned closer, inhaling the scent of my hair before whispering into my ear.
“I could always make you.”
My lips parted, but I couldn’t form a response as he pulled back, his mouth hovering over mine, our breathing shallow and lost in the moment. His hand left my shoulder, and he slammed his palm against the damp window next to my head, snapping himself out of the moment. I startled, but I knew his anger was directed inward.
“Get in the f**king car.” His tone was harsh and unlike anything I’d heard when he was in bed with me last night.
“Make me.” My childish tone made me cringe, but he was so incredibly frustrating, I couldn’t help myself.
His mouth twisted in a half smile as he grabbed my waist, bending over so he could lift me onto his shoulder.
“You f**king ass**le! Put me down!”
He walked to the passenger side of the car, ignoring my fists that pounded against his back. “I asked you nicely.”
“Pfft. That’s what you consider nice?” I snapped as he opened the door and lowered me to my feet, caging me between him and the seat.
“Get in.” He stepped forward, pressing his body against mine. I had no choice but to sit down or let my brain turn to mush again just from being in such close proximity to him.
“Dick,” I muttered under my breath as he closed the door, laughing. Jogging around the front of the vehicle, he got in, running his hand over his wet hair and sending water droplets sprinkling around him.
“Beautiful day.” The engine roared to life with the push of a button, and we pulled out, driving quickly through the wet streets. “Put on your seat belt. Can never be too safe.”
I scowled but pulled the belt across my lap and clicked it into place. “I want my things back.”
“They’re yours. I just want some answers.”
I tried to ignore the tightening in my chest. There were certain things I never spoke about. Certain memories I didn’t want to relive.
Ryder pulled out his phone and called the hotel, extending his stay for another night.
“I didn’t realize you were leaving today.”
His eyes went to the rearview mirror and back to the road. “I was going to go visit my mother. I have some business to take care of back home.”
“Oh.” We pulled into the parking lot, and I got out of the car, looking out over the lot as I waited for Ryder. He walked by me and continued toward his room. “Is my stuff inside?” I called after him, but he didn’t respond. I followed, hating that I knew this was going to get worse before it got better.
He unlocked the door, leaving it open behind him. I scanned the room, noticing all the belongings were gone.
“Where are my bags?” I crossed my arms over my chest as Ryder walked back to me, reaching over my shoulder and shoving the door closed.
“I can’t play this game with you anymore. It’s f**king up my head, Ella.”
“I’m not playing a game, Ryder. I want my things.”
He reached forward, and I took a step back, pressing myself against the door. “If you touch me, I’ll scream.”
“If I touch you, you’ll scream…and moan…and beg. I’m not going to f**king hurt you. Whoever has f**ked up your head, Ella, I’m not them. I just need answers.”
“I don’t have any.” I reached behind me, pulling open the door, glaring as I slipped back outside. I walked quickly across the lot to the band’s SUV and yanked open the back door. Inside were Ryder’s duffel bag and my bags. I put my book bag on my shoulders and turned to leave, shrieking when I almost collided with Ryder’s chest.
“Get out of my way.” I shoved against his chest and began to walk toward the overhang to get out of the rain. He grabbed his bag and followed after me, throwing it against the door of his room.
Bond
Chapter 20—Rellik
Bond: a force or feeling that unites people; a common emotion or interest
“The call you made from my room, who was that?”
She spun around, damp hair clinging to her face, as if she didn’t expect me to know that information.
“You forgot about that, huh? The room was registered to me. I can find out all of that information. You might want to remember that next time you scam someone.”
“I wasn’t scamming you,” she yelled back angrily. “I called someone from my work to let her know I was okay. That’s it.”
“Careful, Ella, you’re not thinking your lies through. I already called the number.”
“No.” Her head shook and her eyes widened.
I nodded as my tongue swept across my lower lip, wiping away the dampness of the rain.
“You wouldn’t have done that.”
I cocked my head to the side and smirked as my eyes narrowed. “Are you sure about that? I think you’d be surprised at the things I would do.”
“Oh God.” Her hand went to her stomach.
“There’s no God here.” I stepped closer, stopping within arm’s reach of her. She looked up, eyes sad and searching mine. “He turned his back on me a long time ago.”
“You really are crazy.” Her eyes narrowed as they searched mine, desperately hoping it was all a sick, twisted joke.
“That hurts. You violated my privacy first, Ella. Of course, I guess this makes us even.”
“What did you tell him? What did you say?”
“Who is he?”
“What did you do?” The absolute terror in her eyes was unlike anything I’d seen before.
I could see the wheels spinning in her head. She shoved her hand into her purse and let it fall to the ground as she held her gun toward me again. Newspaper clippings scattered on the ground around us. I bend down and picked up one of the damp papers with Katie’s face on it. I stood up, eyeing Ella as hate pumped through me.
“I hope you remember what I told you. If you’re going to aim that gun at me, you better pull the f**king trigger.” Her hand shook as I stepped forward, pressing it against my chest. “Pull the trigger, Ella.” I stepped forward again, causing her elbow to bend. “Pull it.”
“I’ll do it. I’ll do it this time.” She shook her head, but I could see the indecision in her eyes.
“Pull the f**king trigger!”
And.
She.
Did.
The click of metal against metal was deafening in our heated state. The look of confusion on her face was priceless as the weapon failed to discharge. I smirked, not out of cockiness, but pride that she finally found the guts to stand up for herself. But it meant nothing. Her weapon was empty, like my heart that she so desperately wanted to quiet.
“No.” She looked down at the weapon as if it would give her answers.
“That’s unfortunate.” I sighed as I grabbed the gun and tossed it to the ground. I’d underestimated her. She was a fighter. But she picked the wrong side.
“Now tell me who you called from the hotel room.”
Her whole body seemed to vibrate with fear as her eyes darted around, landing anywhere but on mine.
“You have no idea what you’ve done.”
“Tell me something I don’t know.” My patience was wearing thin.
“You don’t understand.” She looked down at her shaking hands. I placed my fingers under her chin, tilting her gaze up to meet mine.
