I turned my head the fraction of an inch I needed to put my lips on his. It was just the press of lips lightly together but it was a kiss that spoke volumes. I wanted him and I wanted as many moments as we could cram into the short amount of time we had left together.
“It matters and you matter, Cy.” And every moment that we had, regardless of what it was made of or what was inside of it, mattered. He made me mad, he made me happy. He turned me on and he put me out with his hot and cold attitude, but with him I felt more than I ever had before because I wasn’t running from those feelings. I couldn’t control them, or my reaction to him, and that terrified and excited me equally. Inside, my head was threatening my heart with all kinds of ugly, painful warnings. However, my tender and newly enlightened heart decided not to listen. Lane was right, there was no place for logic in love.
Not So Fast
When we got back to the trail, where everyone was anxiously waiting our return, it was anything but welcoming. Emrys immediately was buzzing all around me and wasted no time in attacking my torn face with the limited supplies the brothers had packed away in a tiny first aid kit. She was apologizing profusely for making me come on this knowing how nervous I was to get back on a horse after my past experience with them. I told her, no less than a hundred times, that I was fine on both the inside and the out, but she was caught in a guilt vortex. Nothing I said to her and no amount of reassurance that I threw at her seemed to be getting through. I let her fuss over me while Cy took care of Boss and spoke to Lane in low, serious tones.
Marcus and Meghan were making pointed complaints about the trip not being the tranquil, relaxing commune with nature they had been expecting, and Evan was glaring at me like I was personally responsible for all the things that were going wrong in her life. I even overheard her murmuring to her brother that I had purposely let my horse run out of control, so I would have an excuse to spend alone time with Cy and that he would be forced to share his saddle with me. To his credit, Ethan rolled his eyes and told her to get a life but that didn’t stop the nasty looks the girl was tossing my way or the misplaced jealousy that was radiating off of her.
Lane told everyone the plan to ride a few miles through the woods to take us back down by the river for everyone’s safety. Without mentioning what we had stumbled on deep in the woods, he told everyone that the gunshot from a couple nights before coupled with motorbikes today, made this trail too unpredictable and the group’s safety needed to be first priority. He promised the rest of the ride would be quickly back to nature and the unspoiled majesty of the Wyoming wilderness. He sold the kids on the idea of being down by the river by dangling a trip on inner tubes through the light rapids one of the days. The adults were a harder sell.
Marcus was making noise about a refund because of the change in plans, but I was pretty sure he was just talking to hear himself speak. Meghan had long since grown tired of his peacocking and pretension. She may have started this trip trying to hold her frayed family together but something told me once they got back to the city she would be cutting loose the dead weight. She told her husband to be quiet and assured Lane that whatever they needed to do in order to safely enjoy the rest of the trip, they would gladly do. She also thanked him for having the best interest of her kids in mind while giving her husband a look that said maybe he should try that sometime.
Webb and Grady also grumbled about changing trails. They both seemed to be overly interested in where the men on the dirt bikes had come from and where they had gone. They asked both Cy and Lane a ton of questions that the brothers either refused to answer or couldn’t answer. Grady even suggested that someone go after the men on the bikes to hold them accountable for spooking the horses and putting me in danger. He even looked at me for support when he spouted off the crazy idea.
Cy laid down a ‘no’ that left zero room for argument. I could tell he was worried and impatient at having to deal with everyone else’s concerns. He missed Sutton when he called to the ranch on the satellite phone. Brynn told them that the middle Warner brother was already on his way to us without any kind of warning about the danger he could be facing. Both Cy and Lane were even more on edge after Brynn relayed that information and it was clear they wanted us to get packed up and relocated to a new spot as quickly as possible. The only good news was that Brynn agreed to call the local rangers and let them know what was going on. Cy gave her our rough coordinates and told her that she needed to warn whoever came to investigate that the people who had disrupted our trip were armed, assuming the guys on the bikes were the same ones shooting in the middle of the night, and they should be considered dangerous. Even over the crackling and static-filled line, the concern in Brynn’s voice was evident as she told Cy to take care of himself and Lane.
When it was time to saddle up and make our way down to the river, Evan graciously offered her horse with fake, wide-eyed innocence. Boss was still moving much slower than he had been and favoring his back leg. I took her up on the offer even though I knew she was going to try and put herself on Cy’s horse when I displaced her. Luckily, before the teen could make a scene or put him in the position of having an awkward conversation with her about why that was totally inappropriate, her mother ordered the girl to share her brother’s mount. It was obvious neither sibling was thrilled with the prospect, but I wanted to give Meghan a high five for finally doing her job. I wasn’t the only one who found a piece of myself that was lost by coming out here and doing things I normally wouldn’t do.
“It matters and you matter, Cy.” And every moment that we had, regardless of what it was made of or what was inside of it, mattered. He made me mad, he made me happy. He turned me on and he put me out with his hot and cold attitude, but with him I felt more than I ever had before because I wasn’t running from those feelings. I couldn’t control them, or my reaction to him, and that terrified and excited me equally. Inside, my head was threatening my heart with all kinds of ugly, painful warnings. However, my tender and newly enlightened heart decided not to listen. Lane was right, there was no place for logic in love.
Not So Fast
When we got back to the trail, where everyone was anxiously waiting our return, it was anything but welcoming. Emrys immediately was buzzing all around me and wasted no time in attacking my torn face with the limited supplies the brothers had packed away in a tiny first aid kit. She was apologizing profusely for making me come on this knowing how nervous I was to get back on a horse after my past experience with them. I told her, no less than a hundred times, that I was fine on both the inside and the out, but she was caught in a guilt vortex. Nothing I said to her and no amount of reassurance that I threw at her seemed to be getting through. I let her fuss over me while Cy took care of Boss and spoke to Lane in low, serious tones.
Marcus and Meghan were making pointed complaints about the trip not being the tranquil, relaxing commune with nature they had been expecting, and Evan was glaring at me like I was personally responsible for all the things that were going wrong in her life. I even overheard her murmuring to her brother that I had purposely let my horse run out of control, so I would have an excuse to spend alone time with Cy and that he would be forced to share his saddle with me. To his credit, Ethan rolled his eyes and told her to get a life but that didn’t stop the nasty looks the girl was tossing my way or the misplaced jealousy that was radiating off of her.
Lane told everyone the plan to ride a few miles through the woods to take us back down by the river for everyone’s safety. Without mentioning what we had stumbled on deep in the woods, he told everyone that the gunshot from a couple nights before coupled with motorbikes today, made this trail too unpredictable and the group’s safety needed to be first priority. He promised the rest of the ride would be quickly back to nature and the unspoiled majesty of the Wyoming wilderness. He sold the kids on the idea of being down by the river by dangling a trip on inner tubes through the light rapids one of the days. The adults were a harder sell.
Marcus was making noise about a refund because of the change in plans, but I was pretty sure he was just talking to hear himself speak. Meghan had long since grown tired of his peacocking and pretension. She may have started this trip trying to hold her frayed family together but something told me once they got back to the city she would be cutting loose the dead weight. She told her husband to be quiet and assured Lane that whatever they needed to do in order to safely enjoy the rest of the trip, they would gladly do. She also thanked him for having the best interest of her kids in mind while giving her husband a look that said maybe he should try that sometime.
Webb and Grady also grumbled about changing trails. They both seemed to be overly interested in where the men on the dirt bikes had come from and where they had gone. They asked both Cy and Lane a ton of questions that the brothers either refused to answer or couldn’t answer. Grady even suggested that someone go after the men on the bikes to hold them accountable for spooking the horses and putting me in danger. He even looked at me for support when he spouted off the crazy idea.
Cy laid down a ‘no’ that left zero room for argument. I could tell he was worried and impatient at having to deal with everyone else’s concerns. He missed Sutton when he called to the ranch on the satellite phone. Brynn told them that the middle Warner brother was already on his way to us without any kind of warning about the danger he could be facing. Both Cy and Lane were even more on edge after Brynn relayed that information and it was clear they wanted us to get packed up and relocated to a new spot as quickly as possible. The only good news was that Brynn agreed to call the local rangers and let them know what was going on. Cy gave her our rough coordinates and told her that she needed to warn whoever came to investigate that the people who had disrupted our trip were armed, assuming the guys on the bikes were the same ones shooting in the middle of the night, and they should be considered dangerous. Even over the crackling and static-filled line, the concern in Brynn’s voice was evident as she told Cy to take care of himself and Lane.
When it was time to saddle up and make our way down to the river, Evan graciously offered her horse with fake, wide-eyed innocence. Boss was still moving much slower than he had been and favoring his back leg. I took her up on the offer even though I knew she was going to try and put herself on Cy’s horse when I displaced her. Luckily, before the teen could make a scene or put him in the position of having an awkward conversation with her about why that was totally inappropriate, her mother ordered the girl to share her brother’s mount. It was obvious neither sibling was thrilled with the prospect, but I wanted to give Meghan a high five for finally doing her job. I wasn’t the only one who found a piece of myself that was lost by coming out here and doing things I normally wouldn’t do.
