Jessica jerked her arm out of his grasp and ran from the room. She managed to keep the tears in check until she collapsed into the driver’s seat of her piece of shit Nissan Sentra. It never failed. Even when absent, Sed always f**ked up her life.
Chapter 41
On the tour bus, Sed sat at the dining table staring down at Jessica’s picture. God, he missed her. He knew that their breakup was for the best. She deserved to make a life for herself and he wasn’t helping in that regard. Maybe someday they’d make it work. After she finished school and had her career going in the direction she wanted and deserved. He clung to that hope.
Brian took a seat in the booth across from him. “Hey, you okay?”
Sed nodded. “It’s still a little raw, but I’ll live.”
“Need to talk about it?”
“Nope. How are you holding up now that Myrna’s back at work?”
“Can’t stand it.”
They stared at the table in cooperative misery.
“Is it time to head to the stage?” Sed asked.
“We have a few minutes. Did Jerry get the studio reserved for next week?”
“Yeah, we’re all set to record the first few tracks. He wants to get the new single on the shelves.”
“Are we going to add it to the show, then?”
“Don’t know. Probably should. It would help sales.” Rehearsing a new song didn’t hold the appeal it should, however.
Eric wandered out of the bathroom. “Why are we all hiding on the bus?”
Sed chuckled. “Brian and I are avoiding groupies. Don’t know what the rest of you are doing.”
“It’s been a f**king drag around here for the last three days,” Eric said.
“Sorry to ruin your fun, Sticks,” Sed said.
Sed tucked Jessica’s picture into his pocket and headed off the bus toward the concert venue. The small group of fans standing behind the bus erupted into cheers. Normally, Sed would go talk to them, but he wasn’t in the right frame of mind. Brian took up his slack and headed for the fans, while Sed was let into the backstage area of the stadium. He found the dressing room labeled Sinners and went inside.
“There you are,” a gorgeous brunette in an impossibly short skirt said. “I’ve been waiting for quite a while.”
She looked familiar. Sed was certain he’d f**ked her a couple of times, but couldn’t remember her name. “I could use a beer.”
“No problem.”
She returned less than a minute later with a cold beer and a warm smile. “You don’t remember me, do you?”
“Yeah, I remember you. I’m not good with names, though.”
“Jillian.”
He nodded, still not able to place her, and took a long draw from the beer bottle. “I’m going to go get warmed up now.”
“Can I help you with that?”
“Not unless you plan on making me scream for twenty minutes.”
“That was my plan, actually.”
Sed paused, considering her offer. He knew he’d be back to his old ways eventually. Trying to bury the pain of Jessica’s absence by putting his dick in any warm female recess that would accommodate it, but not yet. The thought of f**king another woman left him cold.
“Not tonight, Jillian.”
He chugged his beer and ate a few pieces of red licorice. The glycerol helped keep his vocal cords lubricated and they seemed to need it a lot recently. He warmed up. First with low growls and then worked his way up the octaves to get his voice ready for the punishment of singing a live show. His cords were getting tired. He needed a couple of days off. He could really feel the difference in his voice after doing several concerts in a row. Tonight was their last show for a week, but he’d be in the studio for several days and the repeated takes brutally punished his throat. He needed to stop screaming so much and sing more, but the fans had come to expect his style.
Before long, the rest of the band arrived and then a roadie called them to the stage. Sed tried to get excited enough to perform, but he felt mostly numb. He hoped Jessica’s first day of class had been better than his miserable, lonely day.
Chapter 42
Jessica stood outside the concert venue, wondering why she’d driven over three hours to see a man who didn’t want her. She still wanted him. She couldn’t explain why.
Jake, one of Sinners’ roadies, raced past the barrier and climbed into the truck that held the band’s equipment. He emerged seconds later with a length of cord. He glanced up and caught sight of Jessica. His eyes widened with surprise. “What are you doing here?”
“I’m not sure.”
“Do you want to come inside?”
She nodded.
Jake drew her around the barrier, talked their way through security, and left her in the corridor that led to the stage. She could hear Sed singing onstage in the stadium. The shouts of the crowd and the band’s music were just background noise. God, she loved him. Missed him. She had to see him. Even if he didn’t want to see her. She’d stay out of sight and just watch him. It would be enough.
She crept behind the stage and squatted next to the drum kit. Eric stumbled over a beat. She glanced up to find Eric staring down at her in confusion. She pressed a finger to her lips. She just wanted to see Sed. She didn’t even want him to know she was there.
Eric shrugged slightly and continued to pound his drums and cymbals with his typical enthusiastic flair.
Jessica couldn’t take her eyes off Sed as he paced the front of the stage, singing, screaming, growling, raising his hands in the air to encourage the crowd.
Why can’t I let him go? He doesn’t want me.
She wiped her suddenly leaky eyes on her shoulder and sniffed her nose. What could she have done differently? She wasn’t prepared to live without him in her life. She’d thought things were going so well between them and then like flipping a switch, he’d declared their relationship over. Why? Why would he do that? Had he lied about loving her? To hurt her, maybe? Like she’d planned to hurt him originally. Had the whole thing been a game to him? He was a much better player than she was.
Brian moved to the front of the stage and climbed on the ego riser to play his solo. Sed moved to the back of the stage to grab a drink of water. He chugged half a bottle and set it down near the drum kit. His eyes fell on Jessica. They widened. He froze. When Brian’s solo ended and Sed was supposed to continue singing, he didn’t move. Jace shoved him and he snapped out of his trance. Sed turned and entered the song mid-chorus. The crowd had been singing the lyrics anyway. They didn’t seem to mind his lapse.
Chapter 41
On the tour bus, Sed sat at the dining table staring down at Jessica’s picture. God, he missed her. He knew that their breakup was for the best. She deserved to make a life for herself and he wasn’t helping in that regard. Maybe someday they’d make it work. After she finished school and had her career going in the direction she wanted and deserved. He clung to that hope.
Brian took a seat in the booth across from him. “Hey, you okay?”
Sed nodded. “It’s still a little raw, but I’ll live.”
“Need to talk about it?”
“Nope. How are you holding up now that Myrna’s back at work?”
“Can’t stand it.”
They stared at the table in cooperative misery.
“Is it time to head to the stage?” Sed asked.
“We have a few minutes. Did Jerry get the studio reserved for next week?”
“Yeah, we’re all set to record the first few tracks. He wants to get the new single on the shelves.”
“Are we going to add it to the show, then?”
“Don’t know. Probably should. It would help sales.” Rehearsing a new song didn’t hold the appeal it should, however.
Eric wandered out of the bathroom. “Why are we all hiding on the bus?”
Sed chuckled. “Brian and I are avoiding groupies. Don’t know what the rest of you are doing.”
“It’s been a f**king drag around here for the last three days,” Eric said.
“Sorry to ruin your fun, Sticks,” Sed said.
Sed tucked Jessica’s picture into his pocket and headed off the bus toward the concert venue. The small group of fans standing behind the bus erupted into cheers. Normally, Sed would go talk to them, but he wasn’t in the right frame of mind. Brian took up his slack and headed for the fans, while Sed was let into the backstage area of the stadium. He found the dressing room labeled Sinners and went inside.
“There you are,” a gorgeous brunette in an impossibly short skirt said. “I’ve been waiting for quite a while.”
She looked familiar. Sed was certain he’d f**ked her a couple of times, but couldn’t remember her name. “I could use a beer.”
“No problem.”
She returned less than a minute later with a cold beer and a warm smile. “You don’t remember me, do you?”
“Yeah, I remember you. I’m not good with names, though.”
“Jillian.”
He nodded, still not able to place her, and took a long draw from the beer bottle. “I’m going to go get warmed up now.”
“Can I help you with that?”
“Not unless you plan on making me scream for twenty minutes.”
“That was my plan, actually.”
Sed paused, considering her offer. He knew he’d be back to his old ways eventually. Trying to bury the pain of Jessica’s absence by putting his dick in any warm female recess that would accommodate it, but not yet. The thought of f**king another woman left him cold.
“Not tonight, Jillian.”
He chugged his beer and ate a few pieces of red licorice. The glycerol helped keep his vocal cords lubricated and they seemed to need it a lot recently. He warmed up. First with low growls and then worked his way up the octaves to get his voice ready for the punishment of singing a live show. His cords were getting tired. He needed a couple of days off. He could really feel the difference in his voice after doing several concerts in a row. Tonight was their last show for a week, but he’d be in the studio for several days and the repeated takes brutally punished his throat. He needed to stop screaming so much and sing more, but the fans had come to expect his style.
Before long, the rest of the band arrived and then a roadie called them to the stage. Sed tried to get excited enough to perform, but he felt mostly numb. He hoped Jessica’s first day of class had been better than his miserable, lonely day.
Chapter 42
Jessica stood outside the concert venue, wondering why she’d driven over three hours to see a man who didn’t want her. She still wanted him. She couldn’t explain why.
Jake, one of Sinners’ roadies, raced past the barrier and climbed into the truck that held the band’s equipment. He emerged seconds later with a length of cord. He glanced up and caught sight of Jessica. His eyes widened with surprise. “What are you doing here?”
“I’m not sure.”
“Do you want to come inside?”
She nodded.
Jake drew her around the barrier, talked their way through security, and left her in the corridor that led to the stage. She could hear Sed singing onstage in the stadium. The shouts of the crowd and the band’s music were just background noise. God, she loved him. Missed him. She had to see him. Even if he didn’t want to see her. She’d stay out of sight and just watch him. It would be enough.
She crept behind the stage and squatted next to the drum kit. Eric stumbled over a beat. She glanced up to find Eric staring down at her in confusion. She pressed a finger to her lips. She just wanted to see Sed. She didn’t even want him to know she was there.
Eric shrugged slightly and continued to pound his drums and cymbals with his typical enthusiastic flair.
Jessica couldn’t take her eyes off Sed as he paced the front of the stage, singing, screaming, growling, raising his hands in the air to encourage the crowd.
Why can’t I let him go? He doesn’t want me.
She wiped her suddenly leaky eyes on her shoulder and sniffed her nose. What could she have done differently? She wasn’t prepared to live without him in her life. She’d thought things were going so well between them and then like flipping a switch, he’d declared their relationship over. Why? Why would he do that? Had he lied about loving her? To hurt her, maybe? Like she’d planned to hurt him originally. Had the whole thing been a game to him? He was a much better player than she was.
Brian moved to the front of the stage and climbed on the ego riser to play his solo. Sed moved to the back of the stage to grab a drink of water. He chugged half a bottle and set it down near the drum kit. His eyes fell on Jessica. They widened. He froze. When Brian’s solo ended and Sed was supposed to continue singing, he didn’t move. Jace shoved him and he snapped out of his trance. Sed turned and entered the song mid-chorus. The crowd had been singing the lyrics anyway. They didn’t seem to mind his lapse.
