Shadows in the Silence
Page 77

As soon as I thought about him, the memory of something Sammael had said jolted me fully awake: “You can still reclaim your grace….”
My grace.
I looked at the winged pendant and pulled it into my palm. “Oh my God,” I murmured, turning the pendant over in my hand, examining it.
Will stirred, rustling the sheets. “Are you up?” he asked groggily. He hadn’t even opened his eyes yet.
“My grace!”
He peeked one confused eye open at me. “What?”
“It was never gone,” I said as the excitement of the revelation welled up in me. “The night Sammael was awakened, he said that he couldn’t sense my grace. Kelaeno had broken my necklace and it fell—that’s why he couldn’t sense my grace. I’ve always had this pendant and it has always felt warm only to me. I feel lost, and like a piece of me is missing, when I’m not wearing this. That’s because a piece of me is missing when I’m not wearing it. The necklace—Will, my angelic grace is inside it.”
24
WITH THE PENTALPHA IN MY POSSESSION AND THE iron certainty that my grace had never left me, I felt fueled to get up and move. If I was able to somehow tap into the power contained within my necklace, I might even be able perhaps to uncover a new strength, or one that had been long lost to me.
I dived into the shower before Will so I could tame my hair and get ready, since he always seemed to take only five minutes before he was suited up to walk out the door. Boys were freaks, really.
Speaking of freaks…I grabbed my phone to text Cadan and see if he was up.
R u ration yet?
It was at least a minute before he texted back. What language is that?
R U AWAKE
Much to my extreme dismay. The sun is no friend to my fragile complexion.
I rolled my eyes, entirely unsympathetic. Poor baby. Come to my room asap.
It’s too early to proposition me, Ellie.
GET OVER HERE.
So frisky. Give me a minute to get some clothes on. Or should I not…?
I let out a grumble and didn’t reply to that. Boys were freaks. Next I gave Ava a call since she had never caught on to the texting thing. She wasn’t quite as gung-ho about the twenty-first century as Cadan was. At least she had a phone at all. She and Marcus were already up and about, so they headed to our room right away. They arrived just as Will emerged from the bathroom, showered and dressed in fresh clothes.
“Have you figured out how to work the ring?” Marcus asked. He examined the relic between his fingers before letting it fall back against my skin.
“I don’t think I need to do anything,” I replied. “It’s my own relic and it should obey me. I can make it do whatever I want.”
“Well, it’s great that you’re feeling confident,” Marcus said. “Let’s hope that you’re right.”
Will stepped forward and crossed his arms. His game face was already on. “We should summon Azrael at the castle. We don’t need an angel showing up where humans may see him. our world has been exposed enough already. So, let’s get a good meal first, get some energy, and head out.”
Madeleine was waiting for us just beyond the threshold of Kasteel van Mesen. The reapers and I entered, but her gaze was glued only to Cadan’s face. He, in return, was just as shocked.
“You,” she exhaled. “They told me that they had a demonic reaper with them, but…you?”
“Whoa, wait,” I interrupted. “You two know each other?”
Cadan opened his mouth to speak, but nothing would come out. At last he was able to tear his eyes away from Madeleine to then gape at Will. When Cadan looked back at Madeleine, he struggled to get the words past his lips. “You were pregnant?”
There was a lightning crack of anger in her toxic green eyes. “It was you, wasn’t it?” she asked him between clenched teeth. “You killed him. Part of me always knew you would.”
Cadan’s silence said more than words could. Cadan had done what he had to do, and if he hadn’t killed Bastian, then Will or I would’ve done it. I tried to read the expression on Will’s face, but he was a wall of ice beside me.
“Yes, Ellie,” he said finally, but didn’t look at me. “Madeleine and I know each other. I should have known that she was Will’s mother. Bastian didn’t exactly make a habit of courting angelic reapers. Mostly he just killed them.”
“What about you?” she countered. “Keeping the angelic for company instead of wading through their body parts? How you’ve changed.”
He glared at her. “Yes, I have changed—something my father could never do. We’ve all done some pretty messed-up things. Not even you can deny that.”
Without another word, she spun on her heel and stomped through the grass toward the dark hallway. I drew in a breath and took a step to follow her, but Will caught my arm. I looked up at him and he shook his head once. Ava and Marcus stood in silence behind Will, their faces grave.
“Why didn’t you tell him that you were with child?” Cadan called to her back. “He never knew. Not until recently.”
Madeleine stopped and, after a moment, she turned around. “Because I saw the way he treated you,” she confessed. “And I didn’t want that for my son. There was some goodness in your father, but he spared none of it for you.”
Cadan flinched, as if the words stung like an open cut. “He stopped feeling anything at all after you left. If there had been any goodness in him, it had gone with you.”