“You stood up for my son,” he says softly. “I can’t thank you enough for that, honey.”
“I’m sorry, Jack,” I whisper. “I’m sorry I pushed you all away and said I didn’t want another family. The truth is . . . I have come to realize just how much I love all of you.”
Jack smiles and leans back. “Well, it’s safe to say we’re pretty damned attached to you, too.”
My bottom lip trembles again and Mom enters the room. She’s composed now and as soon as Jack sees her, he goes over and pulls her into his arms. She clings to him and they stand there, holding each other for the longest time. When she pulls back, she rushes to my side. “I’m sorry, baby.”
“Don’t be,” I croak. “We’re all here now. It’s the best we can do.”
“You need to rest. You look exhausted.”
I nod. She’s right; my head is pounding now.
“Can you, ah, get the nurse to bring me some pain medication?”
She nods and kisses my head. “I love you, Aria.”
“Me too, Mom.”
She leaves and five minutes later returns with a nurse. They give me more medication, and then Mom tells me she’s going to sit with Jack while I rest.
“Are you going to be okay on your own?” Mom asks.
My eyes flick to Blade and he says, “I’ll sit with her, Nancy. I know where you are if you need.”
She nods and smiles at him. “Thank you honey.”
I get a few hugs and then everyone leaves. When they’re gone and the door is closed, Blade turns to me. The smile he had on his face slips and he walks over, wrapping his hand around the back of my neck and lifting my face up to his. “Don’t you ever scare me like that again.”
“I’m sorry,” I breathe.
“God baby . . . I fuckin’ thought . . .”
I reach up and cup his face. He turns into my palm and closes his eyes. He’s hurting. He not only thought he was going to lose me, but Ripley too.
“Get in with me,” I croak.
He doesn’t hesitate. He climbs into the bed with me and tucks me into his arms. I cling to him and we’re silent for a while. We’re silent because his body is shaking softly, and I know he’s crying. That hurts me—it hurts because I can’t imagine the pain he’s feeling right now. After a few more minutes, his fingers sift through my hair and he rasps, “I love you, Aria.”
My body goes tight and I whisper, “What?”
“Should have said it before, but I was too fuckin’ proud and too scared to let you in, but it’s the truth. It’s been the truth since the start. I don’t want anyone else but you, and baby, I’m tired of tryin’ to deny that.”
More tears flow. I can’t believe there are actually any left.
“I love you too,” I breathe.
“I’m sorry, darlin’. Sorry for the way I treated you when Peyton was at the garage.”
“You were right; it wasn’t the time for my jealously. I was wrong to even think about anything else but her.”
“I told her everything.”
I blink. “You did?”
“Yeah. I told her I’m sorry for what happened and I’d be there for her, and I will, but I couldn’t pretend that my feelings for her were even close to what they are for you. It wouldn’t have been fair to her, and she deserves someone amazing because she’s an amazing girl.”
God, he’s a good man.
“Is she okay?” I ask.
“She didn’t take it too well at first, but when she calmed down she said she was happy for us, and she hoped I found what I was looking for.”
Damn, I really do like that girl.
“I hated hurting her, especially after what happened, but I can’t lie anymore. I can’t pretend anymore. I want this, Tulip, and I want it for the rest of my fuckin’ life.”
I cling to him. “Me too.”
“For now, though, I just want my brother to come out of this alive.”
I couldn’t be more with him if I tried.
Please, God. Let Ripley pull through.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
Blade and I must fall asleep because a soft hand on my face soon awakens me. I blink a few times and focus to see my mom standing beside the bed. She’s looking at me, but her eyes are flicking to Blade and then back again. Panic grips me and I want to leap up and start throwing out excuses, but I can’t. I would be a lie, and I’m tired of lying. Instead, I carefully shuffle out of Blade’s arms and slide off the bed.
He doesn’t move. He must be exhausted.
Mom and I go and sit on the chairs nearby and she leans in close so we can whisper. “Aria, what is going on? Why is Blade in your bed?”
I take a deep breath. Here goes nothing.
“I love him.”
She blinks and her entire body jerks. “W-w-what?”
“I love him, Momma. I have for two years now. It was never meant to happen like this. I met him before you and Jack and then when I found out, I tried to stay away . . .”
She’s silent. Oh God. She hates me. I start rambling.
“I tried to stop it, I swear I did. I didn’t want to hurt you. I didn’t want to bring you shame. I could imagine nothing worse than knowing I took away the only happiness you’ve had since Dad and Milly died. I didn’t want to cause any heartache, so I really did try but . . . I love him. I don’t want to love him, but I do.”
“I’m sorry, Jack,” I whisper. “I’m sorry I pushed you all away and said I didn’t want another family. The truth is . . . I have come to realize just how much I love all of you.”
Jack smiles and leans back. “Well, it’s safe to say we’re pretty damned attached to you, too.”
My bottom lip trembles again and Mom enters the room. She’s composed now and as soon as Jack sees her, he goes over and pulls her into his arms. She clings to him and they stand there, holding each other for the longest time. When she pulls back, she rushes to my side. “I’m sorry, baby.”
“Don’t be,” I croak. “We’re all here now. It’s the best we can do.”
“You need to rest. You look exhausted.”
I nod. She’s right; my head is pounding now.
“Can you, ah, get the nurse to bring me some pain medication?”
She nods and kisses my head. “I love you, Aria.”
“Me too, Mom.”
She leaves and five minutes later returns with a nurse. They give me more medication, and then Mom tells me she’s going to sit with Jack while I rest.
“Are you going to be okay on your own?” Mom asks.
My eyes flick to Blade and he says, “I’ll sit with her, Nancy. I know where you are if you need.”
She nods and smiles at him. “Thank you honey.”
I get a few hugs and then everyone leaves. When they’re gone and the door is closed, Blade turns to me. The smile he had on his face slips and he walks over, wrapping his hand around the back of my neck and lifting my face up to his. “Don’t you ever scare me like that again.”
“I’m sorry,” I breathe.
“God baby . . . I fuckin’ thought . . .”
I reach up and cup his face. He turns into my palm and closes his eyes. He’s hurting. He not only thought he was going to lose me, but Ripley too.
“Get in with me,” I croak.
He doesn’t hesitate. He climbs into the bed with me and tucks me into his arms. I cling to him and we’re silent for a while. We’re silent because his body is shaking softly, and I know he’s crying. That hurts me—it hurts because I can’t imagine the pain he’s feeling right now. After a few more minutes, his fingers sift through my hair and he rasps, “I love you, Aria.”
My body goes tight and I whisper, “What?”
“Should have said it before, but I was too fuckin’ proud and too scared to let you in, but it’s the truth. It’s been the truth since the start. I don’t want anyone else but you, and baby, I’m tired of tryin’ to deny that.”
More tears flow. I can’t believe there are actually any left.
“I love you too,” I breathe.
“I’m sorry, darlin’. Sorry for the way I treated you when Peyton was at the garage.”
“You were right; it wasn’t the time for my jealously. I was wrong to even think about anything else but her.”
“I told her everything.”
I blink. “You did?”
“Yeah. I told her I’m sorry for what happened and I’d be there for her, and I will, but I couldn’t pretend that my feelings for her were even close to what they are for you. It wouldn’t have been fair to her, and she deserves someone amazing because she’s an amazing girl.”
God, he’s a good man.
“Is she okay?” I ask.
“She didn’t take it too well at first, but when she calmed down she said she was happy for us, and she hoped I found what I was looking for.”
Damn, I really do like that girl.
“I hated hurting her, especially after what happened, but I can’t lie anymore. I can’t pretend anymore. I want this, Tulip, and I want it for the rest of my fuckin’ life.”
I cling to him. “Me too.”
“For now, though, I just want my brother to come out of this alive.”
I couldn’t be more with him if I tried.
Please, God. Let Ripley pull through.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
Blade and I must fall asleep because a soft hand on my face soon awakens me. I blink a few times and focus to see my mom standing beside the bed. She’s looking at me, but her eyes are flicking to Blade and then back again. Panic grips me and I want to leap up and start throwing out excuses, but I can’t. I would be a lie, and I’m tired of lying. Instead, I carefully shuffle out of Blade’s arms and slide off the bed.
He doesn’t move. He must be exhausted.
Mom and I go and sit on the chairs nearby and she leans in close so we can whisper. “Aria, what is going on? Why is Blade in your bed?”
I take a deep breath. Here goes nothing.
“I love him.”
She blinks and her entire body jerks. “W-w-what?”
“I love him, Momma. I have for two years now. It was never meant to happen like this. I met him before you and Jack and then when I found out, I tried to stay away . . .”
She’s silent. Oh God. She hates me. I start rambling.
“I tried to stop it, I swear I did. I didn’t want to hurt you. I didn’t want to bring you shame. I could imagine nothing worse than knowing I took away the only happiness you’ve had since Dad and Milly died. I didn’t want to cause any heartache, so I really did try but . . . I love him. I don’t want to love him, but I do.”
