She still says nothing.
“Please don’t hate me, because I couldn’t take it if you hated me.”
Her hand flies up and I close my eyes, thinking she’s going to slap me, but instead she cups my cheeks in her hands. “Sweetheart, how could you ever think that I’d ever hate you?”
I start crying. Damn crying.
“Look at me,” she says gently.
I look at her, but she’s blurred through my tears.
“You’re not doing anything wrong.”
“B-b-b-but he’s my step-brother and you’re married to Jack. It’s wrong.”
“Honey,” she says softly, “it’s not.”
“People will frown upon it and say horrible things. They’ll make your life hard and then you and Jack might never last. What we are doing might not be technically wrong but it can cause so many things to go wrong and I don’t want that. I want you to be happy.”
“And you don’t think you deserve that, too?”
“Mom,” I sob.
“Honey, look at me.”
I do.
“I’m not angry at you. I’m disappointed you hid it from me but I’m not angry. How can I choose who you love? That isn’t my place. Love finds us for reasons unknown and when it finds us, it latches on. If Blade is the love that found you, then it must be for a reason.”
“It can go so bad,” I whisper. “When people find out . . .”
“Who cares what people think? Honestly? Do you think I care what people say about Jack and I? No, of course not, because he saved me from a dark place, and I’ll never let anyone tell me that I’m wrong for loving him.”
Oh God. She loves him. My heart melts.
“But . . . what if something goes wrong between Blade and I? That’ll cause problems. What if we want to get married and have kids? It’ll be awful. It’ll never work.”
She laughs softly and I stare at her, horrified. “Life is a whole lot of what ifs honey, but I’ve learned that things can happen when you least expect them and those things can turn your life around in one day, one hour, or one damned second. What ifs mean nothing to me. Something could happen tomorrow, or it could last the rest of your life. Live for the moment and live for your heart, not for everyone else’s.”
My mother is amazing.
“It’ll be weird,” I whisper.
“Why?” she says. “What’s so weird about it?”
“You’re married to his dad and . . .”
“And?”
What real excuse do I have to give her? The truth is, there’s nothing awful about what we’re doing. There is no relation, we’re not playing on the incest cards—we’re four people who met, and it happened to be the way it was. Mom loves Jack, I love Blade, but really . . . there’s no wrong with what we’re doing.
“What about if we have kids? It’ll be so strange.”
She scoffs. “Why?”
“How will we explain that?”
“Sweetheart,” she says more firmly now, “you’re more worried about what everyone is going to think, when really you should only be worried about what you think. Do you love him? Is he what you want? Then let the rest fall where it will fall.”
I blink up at her. “And you’re not mad about this? Horrified?”
She shakes her head. “Of course not.”
“And Jack?”
“I can’t answer for Jack, but I know you both need to tell him. Right now isn’t the time because he’s praying for his son’s life, but when it’s done, and things have settled, you need to tell the truth.”
“Isn’t this even a little weird for you?”
She shakes her head and smiles a warm, beautiful smile. “No, because I don’t see that there’s anything wrong with it and sweetheart, neither should you.”
She leans down and kisses my head. “I’m going to go back and sit with Jack. Sleep, and we’ll talk more about this another time.”
“I love you, Mom.”
She smiles. “And I love you.”
With another kiss, she leaves. I slump back in the chair, my head starting to ache again.
“Well fuck me,” Blade rasps in a sleepy voice from the bed. “I thought I liked your mom before. Now I fuckin’ love her.”
I smile and turn. “Eavesdropper.”
He smiles and wiggles his fingers at me. “Come and get back in here with me. I’m not done with needing you.”
I walk over and slip back into the bed. “I hope you’ll never be.”
“Me too, darlin’.”
Then we both fall back to sleep.
~*~*~*~
We all sit around, nervously waiting for the doctor. It’s been twelve hours and we still haven’t heard much except that Ripley made it through the surgery. Now we have to hang in there as we wait for the rest of the news. Twenty minutes later, the doctor finally joins us. He’s a tall man, with salt-and-pepper hair and kind green eyes. He smiles warmly at us. That’s got to be a good sign. Right?
“Thank you all for being so patient. I have an update on Ripley.”
Jack stands. “Please Doc, just tell me.”
He nods and says, “As you know, Ripley had quite severe internal bleeding and a punctured lung. We managed to fix those and he’s stable. The swelling on the brain has subsided, but we’re lowering his body temperature just slightly to bring it down more. I have highs hopes of a full recovery, but of course we won’t know until he wakes up the extent of the damage to his brain.”
“Please don’t hate me, because I couldn’t take it if you hated me.”
Her hand flies up and I close my eyes, thinking she’s going to slap me, but instead she cups my cheeks in her hands. “Sweetheart, how could you ever think that I’d ever hate you?”
I start crying. Damn crying.
“Look at me,” she says gently.
I look at her, but she’s blurred through my tears.
“You’re not doing anything wrong.”
“B-b-b-but he’s my step-brother and you’re married to Jack. It’s wrong.”
“Honey,” she says softly, “it’s not.”
“People will frown upon it and say horrible things. They’ll make your life hard and then you and Jack might never last. What we are doing might not be technically wrong but it can cause so many things to go wrong and I don’t want that. I want you to be happy.”
“And you don’t think you deserve that, too?”
“Mom,” I sob.
“Honey, look at me.”
I do.
“I’m not angry at you. I’m disappointed you hid it from me but I’m not angry. How can I choose who you love? That isn’t my place. Love finds us for reasons unknown and when it finds us, it latches on. If Blade is the love that found you, then it must be for a reason.”
“It can go so bad,” I whisper. “When people find out . . .”
“Who cares what people think? Honestly? Do you think I care what people say about Jack and I? No, of course not, because he saved me from a dark place, and I’ll never let anyone tell me that I’m wrong for loving him.”
Oh God. She loves him. My heart melts.
“But . . . what if something goes wrong between Blade and I? That’ll cause problems. What if we want to get married and have kids? It’ll be awful. It’ll never work.”
She laughs softly and I stare at her, horrified. “Life is a whole lot of what ifs honey, but I’ve learned that things can happen when you least expect them and those things can turn your life around in one day, one hour, or one damned second. What ifs mean nothing to me. Something could happen tomorrow, or it could last the rest of your life. Live for the moment and live for your heart, not for everyone else’s.”
My mother is amazing.
“It’ll be weird,” I whisper.
“Why?” she says. “What’s so weird about it?”
“You’re married to his dad and . . .”
“And?”
What real excuse do I have to give her? The truth is, there’s nothing awful about what we’re doing. There is no relation, we’re not playing on the incest cards—we’re four people who met, and it happened to be the way it was. Mom loves Jack, I love Blade, but really . . . there’s no wrong with what we’re doing.
“What about if we have kids? It’ll be so strange.”
She scoffs. “Why?”
“How will we explain that?”
“Sweetheart,” she says more firmly now, “you’re more worried about what everyone is going to think, when really you should only be worried about what you think. Do you love him? Is he what you want? Then let the rest fall where it will fall.”
I blink up at her. “And you’re not mad about this? Horrified?”
She shakes her head. “Of course not.”
“And Jack?”
“I can’t answer for Jack, but I know you both need to tell him. Right now isn’t the time because he’s praying for his son’s life, but when it’s done, and things have settled, you need to tell the truth.”
“Isn’t this even a little weird for you?”
She shakes her head and smiles a warm, beautiful smile. “No, because I don’t see that there’s anything wrong with it and sweetheart, neither should you.”
She leans down and kisses my head. “I’m going to go back and sit with Jack. Sleep, and we’ll talk more about this another time.”
“I love you, Mom.”
She smiles. “And I love you.”
With another kiss, she leaves. I slump back in the chair, my head starting to ache again.
“Well fuck me,” Blade rasps in a sleepy voice from the bed. “I thought I liked your mom before. Now I fuckin’ love her.”
I smile and turn. “Eavesdropper.”
He smiles and wiggles his fingers at me. “Come and get back in here with me. I’m not done with needing you.”
I walk over and slip back into the bed. “I hope you’ll never be.”
“Me too, darlin’.”
Then we both fall back to sleep.
~*~*~*~
We all sit around, nervously waiting for the doctor. It’s been twelve hours and we still haven’t heard much except that Ripley made it through the surgery. Now we have to hang in there as we wait for the rest of the news. Twenty minutes later, the doctor finally joins us. He’s a tall man, with salt-and-pepper hair and kind green eyes. He smiles warmly at us. That’s got to be a good sign. Right?
“Thank you all for being so patient. I have an update on Ripley.”
Jack stands. “Please Doc, just tell me.”
He nods and says, “As you know, Ripley had quite severe internal bleeding and a punctured lung. We managed to fix those and he’s stable. The swelling on the brain has subsided, but we’re lowering his body temperature just slightly to bring it down more. I have highs hopes of a full recovery, but of course we won’t know until he wakes up the extent of the damage to his brain.”
