I didn’t respond. I let go of her arm. The look on her face and the dark gray fear surrounding her made my heart thump harder.
“You’ve always been a spiritual person, Anna, but I wonder how much you actually see—how much you believe.”
“You mean God? I believe—”
“I know. But what about... other spirits?” she asked.
“Like ghosts?”
“No. I mean angels.”
My neck and scalp tingled.
“Sure,” I said slowly. “I know scripture talks about angels up there—singing and trumpets and all that.”
“It also talks about angels coming down here to earth. And demons, too.”
“O-kay. I know that stuff happened back in the day, or whatever, but what does it have to do with us?”
“You know I was married,” she said. I nodded, confused about where this was going. Patti stood up and paced the floor as she talked. “For three years we tried to conceive. He eventually went to the doctor and found out he wasn’t the problem. That was the beginning of the end for us. I prayed my body would be fixed and we’d be blessed with a baby, but months passed and I never got pregnant. Then one night I had this dream. Actually, I told my husband it was a dream, but I knew it was real.”
She stood still and stared at me. I nodded again, wishing she’d just say it, whatever it was.
“An angel came to me, Anna. He told me there was a baby waiting for me at a convent in Los Angeles.”
A prickle went up my spine. She came and sat down, putting her hand on my knee as if holding me there, as if I would run from her. She spoke faster now.
“I woke up the next morning and told my husband about it, but he said I’d lost my mind. And, in a way, I had. All I knew was that I had to get to you no matter what. I bought a ticket for myself and I begged him to come with me, but he wouldn’t. By the time I got home with you, he was gone. He remarried a year later. But I had you and that was all that mattered to me. Do you believe me so far?”
“Yes, of course.” But even so, my brain was rapidly firing denials against the irrational ideas. I took her hands in mine, hoping to calm her.
“Before they let me take you, one of the nuns who ran the orphanage talked to me. Her name was Sister Ruth. She was the oldest person I’d ever met, at least a hundred years old at that point. She told me she’d been waiting for me and she could sense I was the right woman to raise you.”
“What was that supposed to mean?” I whispered.
She paused, studying my face. “Raising you would require extra care, because you’re more than human, Anna.”
I’d always known I was different, so why did it sound like complete madness?
“Then what am I?” I asked with apprehension.
“Your parents were angels.”
I let out a nervous spurt of laughter, but stopped when Patti didn’t crack a smile.
“Your mother was an angel of light, and your father was...”
“Was what?”
“A demon.”
I had to force myself to breathe.
“That’s not possible,” I whispered. “You don’t really believe that, do you?”
“Every single thing Sister Ruth warned me about has come true. You told me when you were three years old that you remembered being born. And then all of the other things happened one by one, just like she said they would.”
“You knew about all of that?” I was shocked. No wonder Patti never asked any questions. I’d always thought it was strange that she didn’t take me to the doctor for tests when I started getting migraines from the developing senses, given her level of protectiveness over me. I thought maybe she didn’t trust doctors with her special girl.
“I’m sorry I never told you.” Patti choked up now. “It never felt like the right time.”
I tried to make sense of it all in my mind. There had to be some logical explanation. But hadn’t I been trying for years to come up with logical reasons for being able to do the things I did?
“Maybe she was an insane old lady with psychic powers or something,” I reasoned.
“Then how do you explain the supernatural things you can do? She said when you got older you’d be able to see the guardian angels, too.”
I thought about that and was struck with a blinding moment of realization.
“The white clouds!”
“You can see them?”
I sat up straight and watched Patti’s cloud. It appeared to be laying its misty hand on her shoulder. I couldn’t make out any features. It was just a hazy blur. Could it really be an angel? I held out my hand and watched as the cloudy hand flitted down from her shoulder and rested in my palm. I couldn’t feel it, but I was overwhelmed with tremendous peace and understanding before it pulled away.
“You see, Anna?” Patti said, watching me intently. “It’s all true. There’s no one else on earth like you. There are others similar to you, but they’re only half of what you are. This is important, Anna. Focus on me.” I was still staring at her guardian angel, but I forced my eyes to hers.
“The others who are like you are all children of demons, Anna, demons and humans. Raised by those very demons themselves. So that means this boy you met...”
Where is your angel? Kaidan’s words came back to me.
“He’s half demon,” I whispered.
It all came together, hitting me sharply in the chest and slithering through me like a flood of cold water.
“You’ve always been a spiritual person, Anna, but I wonder how much you actually see—how much you believe.”
“You mean God? I believe—”
“I know. But what about... other spirits?” she asked.
“Like ghosts?”
“No. I mean angels.”
My neck and scalp tingled.
“Sure,” I said slowly. “I know scripture talks about angels up there—singing and trumpets and all that.”
“It also talks about angels coming down here to earth. And demons, too.”
“O-kay. I know that stuff happened back in the day, or whatever, but what does it have to do with us?”
“You know I was married,” she said. I nodded, confused about where this was going. Patti stood up and paced the floor as she talked. “For three years we tried to conceive. He eventually went to the doctor and found out he wasn’t the problem. That was the beginning of the end for us. I prayed my body would be fixed and we’d be blessed with a baby, but months passed and I never got pregnant. Then one night I had this dream. Actually, I told my husband it was a dream, but I knew it was real.”
She stood still and stared at me. I nodded again, wishing she’d just say it, whatever it was.
“An angel came to me, Anna. He told me there was a baby waiting for me at a convent in Los Angeles.”
A prickle went up my spine. She came and sat down, putting her hand on my knee as if holding me there, as if I would run from her. She spoke faster now.
“I woke up the next morning and told my husband about it, but he said I’d lost my mind. And, in a way, I had. All I knew was that I had to get to you no matter what. I bought a ticket for myself and I begged him to come with me, but he wouldn’t. By the time I got home with you, he was gone. He remarried a year later. But I had you and that was all that mattered to me. Do you believe me so far?”
“Yes, of course.” But even so, my brain was rapidly firing denials against the irrational ideas. I took her hands in mine, hoping to calm her.
“Before they let me take you, one of the nuns who ran the orphanage talked to me. Her name was Sister Ruth. She was the oldest person I’d ever met, at least a hundred years old at that point. She told me she’d been waiting for me and she could sense I was the right woman to raise you.”
“What was that supposed to mean?” I whispered.
She paused, studying my face. “Raising you would require extra care, because you’re more than human, Anna.”
I’d always known I was different, so why did it sound like complete madness?
“Then what am I?” I asked with apprehension.
“Your parents were angels.”
I let out a nervous spurt of laughter, but stopped when Patti didn’t crack a smile.
“Your mother was an angel of light, and your father was...”
“Was what?”
“A demon.”
I had to force myself to breathe.
“That’s not possible,” I whispered. “You don’t really believe that, do you?”
“Every single thing Sister Ruth warned me about has come true. You told me when you were three years old that you remembered being born. And then all of the other things happened one by one, just like she said they would.”
“You knew about all of that?” I was shocked. No wonder Patti never asked any questions. I’d always thought it was strange that she didn’t take me to the doctor for tests when I started getting migraines from the developing senses, given her level of protectiveness over me. I thought maybe she didn’t trust doctors with her special girl.
“I’m sorry I never told you.” Patti choked up now. “It never felt like the right time.”
I tried to make sense of it all in my mind. There had to be some logical explanation. But hadn’t I been trying for years to come up with logical reasons for being able to do the things I did?
“Maybe she was an insane old lady with psychic powers or something,” I reasoned.
“Then how do you explain the supernatural things you can do? She said when you got older you’d be able to see the guardian angels, too.”
I thought about that and was struck with a blinding moment of realization.
“The white clouds!”
“You can see them?”
I sat up straight and watched Patti’s cloud. It appeared to be laying its misty hand on her shoulder. I couldn’t make out any features. It was just a hazy blur. Could it really be an angel? I held out my hand and watched as the cloudy hand flitted down from her shoulder and rested in my palm. I couldn’t feel it, but I was overwhelmed with tremendous peace and understanding before it pulled away.
“You see, Anna?” Patti said, watching me intently. “It’s all true. There’s no one else on earth like you. There are others similar to you, but they’re only half of what you are. This is important, Anna. Focus on me.” I was still staring at her guardian angel, but I forced my eyes to hers.
“The others who are like you are all children of demons, Anna, demons and humans. Raised by those very demons themselves. So that means this boy you met...”
Where is your angel? Kaidan’s words came back to me.
“He’s half demon,” I whispered.
It all came together, hitting me sharply in the chest and slithering through me like a flood of cold water.
