A sudden sigh slipped from Pix’s lips, and I gripped her arms tighter with my hands, pulling her farther into my chest, just inhaling her sweet scent. I knew we couldn’t stay here all day. I had practice. Hell, so did she. The SEC Championship against the Florida Gators in Georgia was coming up soon, but I just wanted to hold her like this for a time longer, before we had to deal with the shit waiting outside that door.
But one thing was for sure: I felt changed. Different somehow… Worthy even.
“Austin?”
Lexi’s quiet voice made me glance down, and her sleepy eyes were fixed on mine. It didn’t take a damn detective to see the fear of rejection shining thorough them.
“Mornin’, Pix,” I said, smiling, and pressed a kiss to her forehead.
“Morning,” she replied and ran her cheek across my bare chest.
Casually running my finger down her arm, I asked, “How are you feeling?”
Lifting her head, a pink, shy blush had spread across her face. “I feel… so many things—happy, blessed, brave… even adored…”
Smiling wide, I caught her quick inhale of breath and, cupping her face, brought her lips to meet mine. When I had fully taken her mouth—possessively, obsessively—I murmured, “Good, Pix. That’s real f**kin’ good.”
Laying her head to my shoulder, she sighed. I knew it was because it was time for us to go. To leave this little stress-free void.
“You ready to get going?”
Lexi nodded and gradually sat up, stretching out her arms, her back facing me. Beneath the thin fabric of her dress, I could see her tiny silhouette, and my breathing immediately stopped, a huge rush of fear seizing the function of my muscles.
Ribs. A shit ton of Lexi’s ribs were on show, poking through her skin in an unhealthy-looking way, and her spine stuck out almost in an unrealistic protrusion.
As if feeling my worried stare, Lexi snapped her head around to face me and instantly jumped to her feet. I sat up in response, seeing her eyes grow huge with panic.
“Pix,” I whispered and dreaded the response to my next question. “You’re eating, aren’t you?” Clearing my throat, I added, “Like, you’re not starving yourself again? ’Cause you’re looking real thin. You always wear such loose clothes so I never noticed, but…”
The subtle signs of anxiety appeared on Lexi’s face: nostrils flaring as she panted in short breaths, lips twitching, and her chest rising in heavy motion.
“I’m fine,” Lexi snapped and covered herself with her arms. “I’m just stressed.”
I nodded my head cautiously and slowly stood to meet her face to face. I noticed her hands were shaking as I approached, and I reached out and took her face within my palms. She refused to look at me, eyes planted firmly toward the floor.
“Pix.”
Lexi shut her eyes tightly for a moment and then fixed her focus on me, waiting to hear what I had to say. I wanted to say a shit ton, but seeing the fear on her face that I was gonna call her out on her issues had me redirecting my thoughts.
“You can tell me anything, you know,” I said softly, soothingly.
Lexi’s eyes glittered and after a spell, she nodded lightly into my hands, but no words came from her mouth. My teeth gritted in response, but I faked letting it go.
Placing a hard kiss on her mouth, I pulled back and said, “I need to see you tonight. Every night from now on, in here. Okay?”
Rigid apprehension leaked from Lexi’s body, and looking up at me through timid eyes, said, “Yes.”
Smirking at how f**kin’ gorgeous she was, I wrapped my arms around her neck, bringing her in close. “We’ll take this slow, Pix. Just me and you.”
“I… It’s weird, Austin. I’m still trying to process all this. How we got here. Still trying to work out how to have you in my life without freakin’ out.”
“Ditto, Pix.” I pulled back and said, “It ain’t no one’s f**kin’ business but ours, you know.”
“What about our friends?”
I shrugged. “It’s not safe to tell anyone yet. Not until everything with the Heighters calms down. Until then, we just work on how to be together, ’cause I ain’t losing you now. Not after this…”
A happy giggle slipped from Lexi’s mouth, and I said, “Now we both need to get to practice, and I’m still really f**kin’ naked and need to throw on my clothes or risk getting arrested for indecent exposure. The dean would love that, narcs and nakedness!”
Snorting a loud laugh, Lexi pulled back, then lifted her hand to my cheek, her laughter teetering off. “Thank you, Austin.”
I knew that was for not pushing the eating issue. But I’d be damn well keeping an eye on her; that’s for sure. She wasn’t slipping back down that clusterfuck of a dark hole while I was around.
“You go out first. It’s still early enough that no one should see you going home. No walk of shame.”
Lexi nodded and, collecting her purse, walked out of door with one final worried glance back. As soon as the door shut, I sighed. All I could picture were her ribs. Her protruding ribs and spine.
Fuck! Was it me making her stressed? Was it all the Heighter shit taking her to the edge, causing her to lose weight?
Making sure the fire was completely out, I dressed and cleaned up the pillows and blankets off the floor in record time. As I was putting away the box of matches, I paused. I couldn’t remember the last time I felt this good. I, Austin Carillo, was feeling real good.
But one thing was for sure: I felt changed. Different somehow… Worthy even.
“Austin?”
Lexi’s quiet voice made me glance down, and her sleepy eyes were fixed on mine. It didn’t take a damn detective to see the fear of rejection shining thorough them.
“Mornin’, Pix,” I said, smiling, and pressed a kiss to her forehead.
“Morning,” she replied and ran her cheek across my bare chest.
Casually running my finger down her arm, I asked, “How are you feeling?”
Lifting her head, a pink, shy blush had spread across her face. “I feel… so many things—happy, blessed, brave… even adored…”
Smiling wide, I caught her quick inhale of breath and, cupping her face, brought her lips to meet mine. When I had fully taken her mouth—possessively, obsessively—I murmured, “Good, Pix. That’s real f**kin’ good.”
Laying her head to my shoulder, she sighed. I knew it was because it was time for us to go. To leave this little stress-free void.
“You ready to get going?”
Lexi nodded and gradually sat up, stretching out her arms, her back facing me. Beneath the thin fabric of her dress, I could see her tiny silhouette, and my breathing immediately stopped, a huge rush of fear seizing the function of my muscles.
Ribs. A shit ton of Lexi’s ribs were on show, poking through her skin in an unhealthy-looking way, and her spine stuck out almost in an unrealistic protrusion.
As if feeling my worried stare, Lexi snapped her head around to face me and instantly jumped to her feet. I sat up in response, seeing her eyes grow huge with panic.
“Pix,” I whispered and dreaded the response to my next question. “You’re eating, aren’t you?” Clearing my throat, I added, “Like, you’re not starving yourself again? ’Cause you’re looking real thin. You always wear such loose clothes so I never noticed, but…”
The subtle signs of anxiety appeared on Lexi’s face: nostrils flaring as she panted in short breaths, lips twitching, and her chest rising in heavy motion.
“I’m fine,” Lexi snapped and covered herself with her arms. “I’m just stressed.”
I nodded my head cautiously and slowly stood to meet her face to face. I noticed her hands were shaking as I approached, and I reached out and took her face within my palms. She refused to look at me, eyes planted firmly toward the floor.
“Pix.”
Lexi shut her eyes tightly for a moment and then fixed her focus on me, waiting to hear what I had to say. I wanted to say a shit ton, but seeing the fear on her face that I was gonna call her out on her issues had me redirecting my thoughts.
“You can tell me anything, you know,” I said softly, soothingly.
Lexi’s eyes glittered and after a spell, she nodded lightly into my hands, but no words came from her mouth. My teeth gritted in response, but I faked letting it go.
Placing a hard kiss on her mouth, I pulled back and said, “I need to see you tonight. Every night from now on, in here. Okay?”
Rigid apprehension leaked from Lexi’s body, and looking up at me through timid eyes, said, “Yes.”
Smirking at how f**kin’ gorgeous she was, I wrapped my arms around her neck, bringing her in close. “We’ll take this slow, Pix. Just me and you.”
“I… It’s weird, Austin. I’m still trying to process all this. How we got here. Still trying to work out how to have you in my life without freakin’ out.”
“Ditto, Pix.” I pulled back and said, “It ain’t no one’s f**kin’ business but ours, you know.”
“What about our friends?”
I shrugged. “It’s not safe to tell anyone yet. Not until everything with the Heighters calms down. Until then, we just work on how to be together, ’cause I ain’t losing you now. Not after this…”
A happy giggle slipped from Lexi’s mouth, and I said, “Now we both need to get to practice, and I’m still really f**kin’ naked and need to throw on my clothes or risk getting arrested for indecent exposure. The dean would love that, narcs and nakedness!”
Snorting a loud laugh, Lexi pulled back, then lifted her hand to my cheek, her laughter teetering off. “Thank you, Austin.”
I knew that was for not pushing the eating issue. But I’d be damn well keeping an eye on her; that’s for sure. She wasn’t slipping back down that clusterfuck of a dark hole while I was around.
“You go out first. It’s still early enough that no one should see you going home. No walk of shame.”
Lexi nodded and, collecting her purse, walked out of door with one final worried glance back. As soon as the door shut, I sighed. All I could picture were her ribs. Her protruding ribs and spine.
Fuck! Was it me making her stressed? Was it all the Heighter shit taking her to the edge, causing her to lose weight?
Making sure the fire was completely out, I dressed and cleaned up the pillows and blankets off the floor in record time. As I was putting away the box of matches, I paused. I couldn’t remember the last time I felt this good. I, Austin Carillo, was feeling real good.
