I sprinted to meet him, and as I held his arms, his body shook like a leaf in a windstorm.
“It’s Mamma, Aust! I can’t wake her up! She won’t wake up!”
I felt Rome behind me and heard him curse. But my feet were already moving into the trailer and into my mamma’s room. She looked like she was sleeping, but as I approached her bed, I could see she was eerily still and her chest was barely moving.
It was her breathing.
Hearing a creak in the doorway, I spun my head to find Rome there, staring, his arm around Levi as my baby bro cried.
“She ain’t waking up, Rome. What the f**k do I do?”
Rome swallowed but, moving into the room, said, “Get her out of bed. I’ll drive us to the ER.”
“But… fuck! I haven’t got the money. I haven’t made enough money for her care. Axe took off with it all, and I haven’t been able to make it up yet.”
Rome’s face turned stony. “You forget about that shit and just get her in the f**kin’ truck! Let’s go!”
I didn’t need more convincing and, gathering Mamma up in my arms, I dived in the back of the truck, Levi beside me, and Rome burned rubber out of the park.
With my mamma laid out unconscious over my lap, I gripped Levi’s shaking hand. Looking up at his watering eyes, I eventually hooked my arm around his neck, pulling him to my side.
His sobs came hard. “Is this it, Aust? Is she gonna die?”
I had no f**kin’ idea how to answer that question. I didn’t wanna think about it myself.
“Aust?” Levi asked again.
“I don’t know, kid. But I think we better prepare ourselves all the same.”
Levi sniffed and tucked his face into my shirt. “I don’t want her to go. I don’t wanna be alone.”
Fighting the lump in my throat, I pressed a kiss to his head. “You ain’t ever gonna be alone, kid. You’ll always have me.”
Meeting Rome’s worried eyes in the rearview mirror, I gripped Levi tighter and looked down at my mamma. “Resisti, Mamma. Resisti… ti prego.”
Hold on, Mamma. Hold on… I beg you.
Mamma was rushed to a room on the fourth floor. After one look from the doc, he admitted her immediately.
Walking out of triage, I made my way into the waiting room and immediately stopped. All my friends were there, and Levi poked his head around my back and slowly moved to the side.
As I looked along the row of faces, they were all sad and quiet. Rome saw me enter and, casting a worried glance at Molly, stood to face me.
“Did you bring them all here for Mamma?” I asked Rome, and he regretfully shook his head.
My eyebrows pulled down in confusion, and I caught Cass scowling at me from the back of the room.
“Then what—”
“It’s Lexi, Austin,” Rome said quietly.
My stomach plummeted and my hands began to shake. Rome’s face was white, and I saw Ally and Molly wiping tears from their eyes.
“Wh-what’s wrong with Lexi?” Levi said from beside me, and I heard the panic in his voice. The kid idolized her, that one meeting etched forever in his head.
Rome ran his hand down his face, and I reached out and took his arm. “What’s wrong with her?”
“She collapsed on us earlier tonight. She… Fuck, Carillo, she’s severely anorexic. She’s been sectioned.”
I felt like someone had punched a hole through my chest. She’d relapsed. Fuck! She’d relapsed. I saw the signs, but I thought without all the stress of the Heighters, she’d be okay… SHIT!
“Where is she?”
Rome flicked his chin. “Room fifteen. But she’s bad, Austin. She looks real f**kin’ bad.”
“What’s anorexic, Austin?” Levi asked, and I looked down to his petrified face.
Sighing deep, I said, “She starves herself, Lev. She starves herself of food.”
Levi’s eyebrows pulled down in confusion. “Why… why would she starve herself?”
Putting my arm around his shoulders, I said, “Because she has an illness. She’s had one for a long time. She don’t see herself like we see her… beautiful… perfect.”
Cass jumped from her seat and met me toe to toe. “She’s been what?”
I frowned and repeated my words. “She’s been anorexic since she was sixteen. She got through it enough to come to college, but this year she’s found it hard again.”
“And how the hell do you know this?” Cass said in outrage, as though she’d been left out of some great conspiracy.
“Because we’ve been together for months, and she told me! We told each other everything. Hell, I only left her because I was no good for her, Cass. Wanted to save her from the dangerous shit I’m being forced to do for my family. But I f**kin’ love her! Is that a good enough answer for you? I left her because I love her!”
Cass’s bottom lip shook and tears filled her eyes. “You love her?”
“Cass, I f**kin’ adore her. She’s everything to me. But my life is so f**ked up. I didn’t wanna drag her down too.”
Lifting my head, I pulled Levi close. “You stay here with Rome. I gotta get to my Pix.”
Rome took Levi’s arm. “Stay with us, kid.”
Molly stood and put her arm around Levi’s shoulders, but Levi looked back at me. “Mamma and Lexi are both here, Austin.” His eyes dropped to the floor. “What if we lose them both?”
“It’s Mamma, Aust! I can’t wake her up! She won’t wake up!”
I felt Rome behind me and heard him curse. But my feet were already moving into the trailer and into my mamma’s room. She looked like she was sleeping, but as I approached her bed, I could see she was eerily still and her chest was barely moving.
It was her breathing.
Hearing a creak in the doorway, I spun my head to find Rome there, staring, his arm around Levi as my baby bro cried.
“She ain’t waking up, Rome. What the f**k do I do?”
Rome swallowed but, moving into the room, said, “Get her out of bed. I’ll drive us to the ER.”
“But… fuck! I haven’t got the money. I haven’t made enough money for her care. Axe took off with it all, and I haven’t been able to make it up yet.”
Rome’s face turned stony. “You forget about that shit and just get her in the f**kin’ truck! Let’s go!”
I didn’t need more convincing and, gathering Mamma up in my arms, I dived in the back of the truck, Levi beside me, and Rome burned rubber out of the park.
With my mamma laid out unconscious over my lap, I gripped Levi’s shaking hand. Looking up at his watering eyes, I eventually hooked my arm around his neck, pulling him to my side.
His sobs came hard. “Is this it, Aust? Is she gonna die?”
I had no f**kin’ idea how to answer that question. I didn’t wanna think about it myself.
“Aust?” Levi asked again.
“I don’t know, kid. But I think we better prepare ourselves all the same.”
Levi sniffed and tucked his face into my shirt. “I don’t want her to go. I don’t wanna be alone.”
Fighting the lump in my throat, I pressed a kiss to his head. “You ain’t ever gonna be alone, kid. You’ll always have me.”
Meeting Rome’s worried eyes in the rearview mirror, I gripped Levi tighter and looked down at my mamma. “Resisti, Mamma. Resisti… ti prego.”
Hold on, Mamma. Hold on… I beg you.
Mamma was rushed to a room on the fourth floor. After one look from the doc, he admitted her immediately.
Walking out of triage, I made my way into the waiting room and immediately stopped. All my friends were there, and Levi poked his head around my back and slowly moved to the side.
As I looked along the row of faces, they were all sad and quiet. Rome saw me enter and, casting a worried glance at Molly, stood to face me.
“Did you bring them all here for Mamma?” I asked Rome, and he regretfully shook his head.
My eyebrows pulled down in confusion, and I caught Cass scowling at me from the back of the room.
“Then what—”
“It’s Lexi, Austin,” Rome said quietly.
My stomach plummeted and my hands began to shake. Rome’s face was white, and I saw Ally and Molly wiping tears from their eyes.
“Wh-what’s wrong with Lexi?” Levi said from beside me, and I heard the panic in his voice. The kid idolized her, that one meeting etched forever in his head.
Rome ran his hand down his face, and I reached out and took his arm. “What’s wrong with her?”
“She collapsed on us earlier tonight. She… Fuck, Carillo, she’s severely anorexic. She’s been sectioned.”
I felt like someone had punched a hole through my chest. She’d relapsed. Fuck! She’d relapsed. I saw the signs, but I thought without all the stress of the Heighters, she’d be okay… SHIT!
“Where is she?”
Rome flicked his chin. “Room fifteen. But she’s bad, Austin. She looks real f**kin’ bad.”
“What’s anorexic, Austin?” Levi asked, and I looked down to his petrified face.
Sighing deep, I said, “She starves herself, Lev. She starves herself of food.”
Levi’s eyebrows pulled down in confusion. “Why… why would she starve herself?”
Putting my arm around his shoulders, I said, “Because she has an illness. She’s had one for a long time. She don’t see herself like we see her… beautiful… perfect.”
Cass jumped from her seat and met me toe to toe. “She’s been what?”
I frowned and repeated my words. “She’s been anorexic since she was sixteen. She got through it enough to come to college, but this year she’s found it hard again.”
“And how the hell do you know this?” Cass said in outrage, as though she’d been left out of some great conspiracy.
“Because we’ve been together for months, and she told me! We told each other everything. Hell, I only left her because I was no good for her, Cass. Wanted to save her from the dangerous shit I’m being forced to do for my family. But I f**kin’ love her! Is that a good enough answer for you? I left her because I love her!”
Cass’s bottom lip shook and tears filled her eyes. “You love her?”
“Cass, I f**kin’ adore her. She’s everything to me. But my life is so f**ked up. I didn’t wanna drag her down too.”
Lifting my head, I pulled Levi close. “You stay here with Rome. I gotta get to my Pix.”
Rome took Levi’s arm. “Stay with us, kid.”
Molly stood and put her arm around Levi’s shoulders, but Levi looked back at me. “Mamma and Lexi are both here, Austin.” His eyes dropped to the floor. “What if we lose them both?”
