I walked to Levi and looked him dead in the eye. “I ain’t gonna lie to you, kid. Mamma’s in a real bad way. We knew this day was coming. But Pix…” I took a long, deep breath and managed to fight back tears. “I’m gonna do everything I can to get through to Pix.”
Levi’s bottom lip quivered, and he whispered, “You swear?”
I exhaled. “Lo guiro.”
Practically running from the room, I headed down the corridor until I got to room fifteen. The door was shut, and my breath came hard.
Three steps.
Three steps until I was through that door.
Three steps until I faced Pix… my girl with severe anorexia.
Thoughts of what she might look like circled my mind, but when, on a breath, I pushed open the door, nothing I was thinking could have prepared me for this.
Choking on a sob, I froze at the door, looking at the girl on the bed. The girl that was no more than a skeleton with skin, black hair patchy and thin and her lips a pale blue and lifeless.
Machines were beeping around her, and bags of liquid were poking out of her skin. I didn’t think I could take seeing her like this, but sucking up some courage from the bottom of my gut, I forced my heavy legs to move one step at a time.
One… two… three… four…
Tears blurred my eyes as I stared at Pix on the bed. Il mio piccolo folletto rotto… My broken little pixie.
Pix’s eyes were fixed on a space at the farthest side of the room, and I slumped in the chair beside her, staring at her tiny body, reaching out to run my finger down her hand. She didn’t even flinch. Didn’t even look my way.
“Pix,” I whispered, my quietly controlled voice sounding like a scream in the sterile room.
This time I threaded her hands through mine, almost flinching at how cold they were against my skin. I could feel every bone, every knuckle. I couldn’t believe how rapidly she’d declined over the past few weeks. She must have been eating nothing.
“Pix, please… look at me,” I begged, and eventually, Lexi rolled her head to mine, and I nearly jerked back in shock.
Her pale-green eyes were duller than usual and looked too big for her slender face. Patches of dry skin marred her severely sunken cheeks, so sharp it looked as though she had used a black blush along her bones. The tendons in her neck were visible, and her collarbone jutted out at an almost deadly angle.
“Pix… fuck. Pix…” I whispered as tears fell down my face. But there was nothing behind her pale eyes. No flicker of emotion, not even recognition.
“Speak to me, Pix.”
Still nothing, and an incessant beeping sounded and she rolled her head away.
Panicking, I got to my feet and, with my finger, moved her face to meet mine. “Speak to me, Pix, please. I’m sorry. I’m so f**kin’ sorry. I left you because I thought it was best for you. I didn’t think this would happen! I was trying to prevent this!”
The sound of the door opening made me step back, and a man in a white coat stepped through. His eyebrows jerked when he saw me beside the bed.
“I’m sorry, son. I didn’t realize Lexi had a visitor. Only family is permitted in here.”
“Are you her doctor?” I asked in desperation.
He held out his hand. “I’m Dr. Lund, Lexi’s psychiatrist.”
Taking his hand, I asked, “Will she be okay? Please tell me she’ll be okay.”
His head tipped to the side, regarding me with a strange expression, and, casting a glance to Lexi still lying motionless on the bed, he motioned for me to join him outside.
I wavered over what to do. I didn’t want to leave Pix alone. I wanted to stay with her… comfort her, but Dr. Lund patted me on the back. “She’ll be okay for a few minutes, son.”
As we hit the corridor, I spotted my friends waiting outside, Rome looking on in concern.
“What relationship do you have with Lexi, son?” Dr. Lund asked. I didn’t really know how to answer him. We’d never given ourselves a label. But I knew in my heart what she meant to me… every-fuckin’-thing.
Looking up at Dr. Lund’s face, I simply said, “She’s my broken Pixie, and I’m her piece of trailer trash scum.”
Dr. Lund regarded me peculiarly, then I saw another doctor hurriedly approaching from behind—the doctor all those months ago who delivered the news that my mamma only had months left to live—holding on to a lady with blond hair.
It was Lexi’s daddy and what looked liked Lexi’s mom.
“Nigel? We got here as quickly as we could,” Dr. Hart said as he stood beside us, gripping the woman’s hand, and I saw recognition flash across on his face as he looked to me. “Mr. Carillo,” he said tightly.
“Hello, sir,” I answered back and lowered my head.
“I just heard from Dr. Small that your momma has been admitted. I’m sorry to hear that, son. You must be finding this all very hard.”
“Thank you, sir,” I said brokenly but kept my gaze on the standard-issue tiles.
Dr. Lund coughed awkwardly and turned to Lexi’s mom and dad. “Austin here was just telling me how he and Lexi are… involved.”
I saw the surprise flit across Dr. and Mrs. Hart’s faces, and then their eyebrows knitted together in concern. “She’s severely anorexic, Austin. Do you know that?” Dr. Hart said icily.
“Yes, sir,” I replied. “She told me her history a while back.”
Levi’s bottom lip quivered, and he whispered, “You swear?”
I exhaled. “Lo guiro.”
Practically running from the room, I headed down the corridor until I got to room fifteen. The door was shut, and my breath came hard.
Three steps.
Three steps until I was through that door.
Three steps until I faced Pix… my girl with severe anorexia.
Thoughts of what she might look like circled my mind, but when, on a breath, I pushed open the door, nothing I was thinking could have prepared me for this.
Choking on a sob, I froze at the door, looking at the girl on the bed. The girl that was no more than a skeleton with skin, black hair patchy and thin and her lips a pale blue and lifeless.
Machines were beeping around her, and bags of liquid were poking out of her skin. I didn’t think I could take seeing her like this, but sucking up some courage from the bottom of my gut, I forced my heavy legs to move one step at a time.
One… two… three… four…
Tears blurred my eyes as I stared at Pix on the bed. Il mio piccolo folletto rotto… My broken little pixie.
Pix’s eyes were fixed on a space at the farthest side of the room, and I slumped in the chair beside her, staring at her tiny body, reaching out to run my finger down her hand. She didn’t even flinch. Didn’t even look my way.
“Pix,” I whispered, my quietly controlled voice sounding like a scream in the sterile room.
This time I threaded her hands through mine, almost flinching at how cold they were against my skin. I could feel every bone, every knuckle. I couldn’t believe how rapidly she’d declined over the past few weeks. She must have been eating nothing.
“Pix, please… look at me,” I begged, and eventually, Lexi rolled her head to mine, and I nearly jerked back in shock.
Her pale-green eyes were duller than usual and looked too big for her slender face. Patches of dry skin marred her severely sunken cheeks, so sharp it looked as though she had used a black blush along her bones. The tendons in her neck were visible, and her collarbone jutted out at an almost deadly angle.
“Pix… fuck. Pix…” I whispered as tears fell down my face. But there was nothing behind her pale eyes. No flicker of emotion, not even recognition.
“Speak to me, Pix.”
Still nothing, and an incessant beeping sounded and she rolled her head away.
Panicking, I got to my feet and, with my finger, moved her face to meet mine. “Speak to me, Pix, please. I’m sorry. I’m so f**kin’ sorry. I left you because I thought it was best for you. I didn’t think this would happen! I was trying to prevent this!”
The sound of the door opening made me step back, and a man in a white coat stepped through. His eyebrows jerked when he saw me beside the bed.
“I’m sorry, son. I didn’t realize Lexi had a visitor. Only family is permitted in here.”
“Are you her doctor?” I asked in desperation.
He held out his hand. “I’m Dr. Lund, Lexi’s psychiatrist.”
Taking his hand, I asked, “Will she be okay? Please tell me she’ll be okay.”
His head tipped to the side, regarding me with a strange expression, and, casting a glance to Lexi still lying motionless on the bed, he motioned for me to join him outside.
I wavered over what to do. I didn’t want to leave Pix alone. I wanted to stay with her… comfort her, but Dr. Lund patted me on the back. “She’ll be okay for a few minutes, son.”
As we hit the corridor, I spotted my friends waiting outside, Rome looking on in concern.
“What relationship do you have with Lexi, son?” Dr. Lund asked. I didn’t really know how to answer him. We’d never given ourselves a label. But I knew in my heart what she meant to me… every-fuckin’-thing.
Looking up at Dr. Lund’s face, I simply said, “She’s my broken Pixie, and I’m her piece of trailer trash scum.”
Dr. Lund regarded me peculiarly, then I saw another doctor hurriedly approaching from behind—the doctor all those months ago who delivered the news that my mamma only had months left to live—holding on to a lady with blond hair.
It was Lexi’s daddy and what looked liked Lexi’s mom.
“Nigel? We got here as quickly as we could,” Dr. Hart said as he stood beside us, gripping the woman’s hand, and I saw recognition flash across on his face as he looked to me. “Mr. Carillo,” he said tightly.
“Hello, sir,” I answered back and lowered my head.
“I just heard from Dr. Small that your momma has been admitted. I’m sorry to hear that, son. You must be finding this all very hard.”
“Thank you, sir,” I said brokenly but kept my gaze on the standard-issue tiles.
Dr. Lund coughed awkwardly and turned to Lexi’s mom and dad. “Austin here was just telling me how he and Lexi are… involved.”
I saw the surprise flit across Dr. and Mrs. Hart’s faces, and then their eyebrows knitted together in concern. “She’s severely anorexic, Austin. Do you know that?” Dr. Hart said icily.
“Yes, sir,” I replied. “She told me her history a while back.”
