I didn’t deserve it. I didn’t deserve him… none of it.
Austin flung his arm around my shoulder and said, “I always knew you could do it. Keep your head down and get straight.”
He began leading me into the house and pushed his hand over my long hair. “What the fuck’s up with the long hair and beard? Never known you to have anything but a buzz cut.”
“Don’t know. Just never bothered to cut it.”
Austin stopped, and I could feel his hard stare. I eventually looked up and raised my eyebrow. “What?”
“I just hardly recognize you, that’s all. It’s like you’re another person. And…” His brown eyes bored into my left cheek, and I lifted my hand to where my Stidda, my tattooed black star, used to be, the mark that told everyone I was Heighter for life. “You covered it…”
I glanced away. “Yeah…” I replied, no more information needed.
“Why?” He pushed.
“Just did, kid.”
“To a crucifix?” he questioned, but I just shrugged. Austin was still staring, but I wasn’t going there.
“You got yours took off,” I stated proudly.
“It ain’t my life no more, Axe. It was ‘bout time to let all that shit go.” I nodded in understanding, and Austin took that as his cue to move us on into the house.
As we walked through the door, I could feel Austin keep looking at me as if he thought I’d disappear if he didn’t keep checking. His arm never left my shoulders.
Austin took my bag and placed it on the black marble floor. I took a look around and had to breathe through the unease I felt at being in such a place. I was used to the thin walls, tin roofs, and plastic windows of trailers, or stone floors and metal gates of cells, not fucking mansions like I was standing in now… a mansion that my kid brother bought all off his own back, from his own talent. It was damn surreal.
Austin slapped me on my back, and I shook my head.
“What?” he asked as I gestured to the large hallway and the TV room that looked like a shittin’ movie theatre.
“You did good, kid.”
Austin’s eyes dipped. “I said I would. Said I’d have a house you could come and live in too, when you got out.”
That damn clogged throat was back again, and I knew Austin got that I couldn’t speak.
“Austin? Baby? Who was at the door?”
A female voice came drifting out from the right, down a hallway I saw led to the kitchen. Shortly after, a skinny, small black-haired chick appeared.
My stomach flipped. Shit. Lexi.
“Baby?” she called again, walking with her head down as she dried a glass with a dishtowel. Austin stiffened beside me. When Lexi looked up, she jumped, startled at what greeted her.
“Ax… Axel…?” she whispered. Her hands began to shake so much that the glass she was holding fell to the floor and shattered.
“Pix,” Austin said, and I could hear the worry in his voice. “Shit, Pix, you okay?”
Her huge green eyes went from mine to Austin’s as she nodded her head, but it wasn’t a damn second before they were back on me.
Austin stood before her and cupped her cheeks, forcing her to look at him. “Baby, look at me.”
She did.
“You okay?”
She slowly nodded her head, and Austin wrapped her in his arms as if he were keeping her safe. Safe from me. I knew she’d had problems. Fuck, I knew she’d nearly died. Lev had told me that much when he’d called me from the hospital five years ago and ripped me a new one for letting them all down.
My pulse slammed in my neck as I saw how much she feared me. She was fucking terrified.
“Lexi,” I greeted, but my voice was rough.
Her green eyes never left mine as Austin squeezed her tighter.
“Axel,” she answered in a shaky voice.
I couldn’t stand it.
Taking a step forward, I watched her whole body tense, so I stopped and held up my hands. “Look, Lexi, I wanna say sorry for the way I treated you. It was real bad. I was a fucking dick.” I lowered my head, feeling Austin’s tension from where I stood. “I ain’t that guy no more.”
Looking back up, Lexi stared at me in silence for the longest time. Then she eventually blew a long breath through her mouth, casting a glance to Austin.
“Pix?” Austin questioned. Lexi reached up and, with her thumb, wiped the wetness still left on Austin’s cheeks. I saw tears fill her eyes too.
Sagging her shoulders in defeat, she turned to me and dipped her chin. “It’s in the past, Axel. None of us were in a good place back then. We were all doing what we thought we had to do to survive. It needs to stay in the past.”
It felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders.
“Pix,” Austin whispered, and I could hear the level of gratitude in his voice. Gratitude for letting his ex-con of a brother walk into their home, fuck, storm back into their lives.
Austin wrapped his wife in his arms, and I couldn’t take my eyes off them. I’d never really seen how much my brother loved Lexi, or even gave a shit about how much she obviously adored him back. When you’re dragged up in hell, I suppose you don’t think about what the other side could be like.
But my brother had it. He had it all. He’d taken himself from the cesspool of our trailer park and was living the fucking American Dream.
“Austin? Lexi? You seen my cleats? I need to get to training.”
Austin flung his arm around my shoulder and said, “I always knew you could do it. Keep your head down and get straight.”
He began leading me into the house and pushed his hand over my long hair. “What the fuck’s up with the long hair and beard? Never known you to have anything but a buzz cut.”
“Don’t know. Just never bothered to cut it.”
Austin stopped, and I could feel his hard stare. I eventually looked up and raised my eyebrow. “What?”
“I just hardly recognize you, that’s all. It’s like you’re another person. And…” His brown eyes bored into my left cheek, and I lifted my hand to where my Stidda, my tattooed black star, used to be, the mark that told everyone I was Heighter for life. “You covered it…”
I glanced away. “Yeah…” I replied, no more information needed.
“Why?” He pushed.
“Just did, kid.”
“To a crucifix?” he questioned, but I just shrugged. Austin was still staring, but I wasn’t going there.
“You got yours took off,” I stated proudly.
“It ain’t my life no more, Axe. It was ‘bout time to let all that shit go.” I nodded in understanding, and Austin took that as his cue to move us on into the house.
As we walked through the door, I could feel Austin keep looking at me as if he thought I’d disappear if he didn’t keep checking. His arm never left my shoulders.
Austin took my bag and placed it on the black marble floor. I took a look around and had to breathe through the unease I felt at being in such a place. I was used to the thin walls, tin roofs, and plastic windows of trailers, or stone floors and metal gates of cells, not fucking mansions like I was standing in now… a mansion that my kid brother bought all off his own back, from his own talent. It was damn surreal.
Austin slapped me on my back, and I shook my head.
“What?” he asked as I gestured to the large hallway and the TV room that looked like a shittin’ movie theatre.
“You did good, kid.”
Austin’s eyes dipped. “I said I would. Said I’d have a house you could come and live in too, when you got out.”
That damn clogged throat was back again, and I knew Austin got that I couldn’t speak.
“Austin? Baby? Who was at the door?”
A female voice came drifting out from the right, down a hallway I saw led to the kitchen. Shortly after, a skinny, small black-haired chick appeared.
My stomach flipped. Shit. Lexi.
“Baby?” she called again, walking with her head down as she dried a glass with a dishtowel. Austin stiffened beside me. When Lexi looked up, she jumped, startled at what greeted her.
“Ax… Axel…?” she whispered. Her hands began to shake so much that the glass she was holding fell to the floor and shattered.
“Pix,” Austin said, and I could hear the worry in his voice. “Shit, Pix, you okay?”
Her huge green eyes went from mine to Austin’s as she nodded her head, but it wasn’t a damn second before they were back on me.
Austin stood before her and cupped her cheeks, forcing her to look at him. “Baby, look at me.”
She did.
“You okay?”
She slowly nodded her head, and Austin wrapped her in his arms as if he were keeping her safe. Safe from me. I knew she’d had problems. Fuck, I knew she’d nearly died. Lev had told me that much when he’d called me from the hospital five years ago and ripped me a new one for letting them all down.
My pulse slammed in my neck as I saw how much she feared me. She was fucking terrified.
“Lexi,” I greeted, but my voice was rough.
Her green eyes never left mine as Austin squeezed her tighter.
“Axel,” she answered in a shaky voice.
I couldn’t stand it.
Taking a step forward, I watched her whole body tense, so I stopped and held up my hands. “Look, Lexi, I wanna say sorry for the way I treated you. It was real bad. I was a fucking dick.” I lowered my head, feeling Austin’s tension from where I stood. “I ain’t that guy no more.”
Looking back up, Lexi stared at me in silence for the longest time. Then she eventually blew a long breath through her mouth, casting a glance to Austin.
“Pix?” Austin questioned. Lexi reached up and, with her thumb, wiped the wetness still left on Austin’s cheeks. I saw tears fill her eyes too.
Sagging her shoulders in defeat, she turned to me and dipped her chin. “It’s in the past, Axel. None of us were in a good place back then. We were all doing what we thought we had to do to survive. It needs to stay in the past.”
It felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders.
“Pix,” Austin whispered, and I could hear the level of gratitude in his voice. Gratitude for letting his ex-con of a brother walk into their home, fuck, storm back into their lives.
Austin wrapped his wife in his arms, and I couldn’t take my eyes off them. I’d never really seen how much my brother loved Lexi, or even gave a shit about how much she obviously adored him back. When you’re dragged up in hell, I suppose you don’t think about what the other side could be like.
But my brother had it. He had it all. He’d taken himself from the cesspool of our trailer park and was living the fucking American Dream.
“Austin? Lexi? You seen my cleats? I need to get to training.”
