The deep voice sounded from upstairs, and my stomach sank. My heart seemed to skip a beat like I had a damn heart murmur or some shit, because I knew exactly who that voice belonged to.
“Lex? You seen my cleats?”
Footsteps pounded up ahead on the first floor, and Austin and Lexi darted their eyes to each other, then me, the same worried expression on their faces. Just then, a pair of legs began running down the stairs, slowly revealing the tall, built frame of my little brother, Levi.
My lips parted as I realized he was all grown up, his dark-blond hair ruffled like he’d just got outta bed. He was wearing a pair of navy sweats and a sports tank, University of Washington Huskies Football written across the chest. His eyes were downcast as he searched the stairs for his cleats, but he started when he looked up, a shy smile pulling on his mouth.
In an instant, his gray eyes widened, his smile turned into a grimace, hands clenched into fists, and his chest began to heave.
Levi pounded down the stairs and Lexi met him at the bottom step, reaching out to grab his arm. “Levi—”
“What the fuck is he doing here?” Levi said coldly through gritted teeth and wrenched his arm free.
Austin stepped forward and gripped Levi’s arm. “Lev—”
“What the fuck’s he doing here?”
A huge unwanted feeling burrowed out of my chest. Levi was fucking burning with rage.
“Levi, calm the hell down!” Austin demanded, but Levi shook his head in disbelief.
“Calm down? Calm the fuck down? Are you shittin’ me?”
“He’s our brother, Lev! What the fuck’s wrong with you?” Austin shouted, standing in front of Levi. But Levi couldn’t calm down.
Levi pushed Austin aside and stepped forward, his eyes lit with fire, and boomed out, “What the fuck’re you doing here? Why aren’t you still rotting in that cell where you belong?”
Lexi rushed forward and took Levi’s arms in her hands. “Levi, please…”
But Levi’s eyes were still set on me. The teen who’d come down those stairs looking for his cleats a minute ago, now looked every inch a true Carillo, every inch the ex-Heighter gang member, every inch the hard little shit I’d forced him to be.
Seeing the hatred he had for me now, when those light-gray eyes used to look at me with nothing but respect and love, destroyed me.
“Levi, look at me,” Lexi pushed again, but I took a deep breath and stepped forward, once again clashing gazes with my youngest brother.
“Lexi, it’s okay,” I said. Her head whipped round in my direction. I could see the panic and upset in her expression, but I flicked a glance to Austin and nodded my head. He returned the gesture.
Reaching forward, Austin took Lexi’s hand and pulled her to him, whispering something in her ear.
Sucking in a deep breath, I turned to Levi. “Lev, I know you’re pissed—”
“Pissed?” he snapped and moved closer still, his knuckles white from how tight his fists were clenched. “Pissed ain’t even close to what I’m feeling about you being here, in our home.” I watched him take a long breath. “You were meant to be away for another five years. You were never meant to come here.”
“He was always meant to come here, Lev. Once he got out, this was always gonna be Axel's home… with us,” Austin said from behind Levi, and Levi glanced back.
Austin reached out and put his hand on Levi’s shoulder. “He’s our brother, Levi. We’re here for him no matter what. We’re Carillos.”
I wanted to speak, tried to speak, but I knew if I opened my mouth, I’d break down like a pussy. Austin, that kid always had my back. Even now, after I’d cut off all contact for years, he acted as though we had nothing but good in our past.
Levi’s mouth tightened and a look of pure disgust set on his face. “Yeah, we have to be there for him?” He tried to step toward me, but Austin’s hand kept him back. It only seemed to piss Levi off more. “Tell me, Austin. Where was our brother after Porter OD’d and he ran away? Where was our brother when he left you to work next to Gio and sacrifice your degree? Where was our brother when our mamma was dying and we nearly lost Pix? And where was our brother when we scattered Mamma’s ashes in Firenze, the only place she’d ever called home?” Levi said the word “brother” like it meant shit to him, like I meant shit to him, and every time he called me out on my sins, it fucking killed me just that little bit more inside.
Why the fuck had I come back? What the hell was I thinking?
“Nah, Aust,” Levi said, curling his lip at me like I was a pile of shit he’d just stepped in. “He ain’t no brother of ours. He’s no Carillo… He’s just a fucking loser of an ex-con that’s going nowhere in life, and he’s come here to use you for money and to drag us back down too.”
Red faced, Levi batted off Austin’s hand, walked to a closet under the stairs to pick up a training bag, and without another glance, walked right out the front door, leaving Austin, Lexi, and me stunned in silence.
Lexi moved from Austin and ran to the door. “Levi! Wait!” I heard her shout from the driveway, but the sound of a car pulling away on gravel drowned her out, and she ran back in.
“Austin! We need to go after him.”
Austin ran a hand down his face and shook his head. “Nah, Pix, leave him. He needs to cool down.”
Watching Lexi wipe her eyes and Austin clearly stressed, I shook my head.
“Lex? You seen my cleats?”
Footsteps pounded up ahead on the first floor, and Austin and Lexi darted their eyes to each other, then me, the same worried expression on their faces. Just then, a pair of legs began running down the stairs, slowly revealing the tall, built frame of my little brother, Levi.
My lips parted as I realized he was all grown up, his dark-blond hair ruffled like he’d just got outta bed. He was wearing a pair of navy sweats and a sports tank, University of Washington Huskies Football written across the chest. His eyes were downcast as he searched the stairs for his cleats, but he started when he looked up, a shy smile pulling on his mouth.
In an instant, his gray eyes widened, his smile turned into a grimace, hands clenched into fists, and his chest began to heave.
Levi pounded down the stairs and Lexi met him at the bottom step, reaching out to grab his arm. “Levi—”
“What the fuck is he doing here?” Levi said coldly through gritted teeth and wrenched his arm free.
Austin stepped forward and gripped Levi’s arm. “Lev—”
“What the fuck’s he doing here?”
A huge unwanted feeling burrowed out of my chest. Levi was fucking burning with rage.
“Levi, calm the hell down!” Austin demanded, but Levi shook his head in disbelief.
“Calm down? Calm the fuck down? Are you shittin’ me?”
“He’s our brother, Lev! What the fuck’s wrong with you?” Austin shouted, standing in front of Levi. But Levi couldn’t calm down.
Levi pushed Austin aside and stepped forward, his eyes lit with fire, and boomed out, “What the fuck’re you doing here? Why aren’t you still rotting in that cell where you belong?”
Lexi rushed forward and took Levi’s arms in her hands. “Levi, please…”
But Levi’s eyes were still set on me. The teen who’d come down those stairs looking for his cleats a minute ago, now looked every inch a true Carillo, every inch the ex-Heighter gang member, every inch the hard little shit I’d forced him to be.
Seeing the hatred he had for me now, when those light-gray eyes used to look at me with nothing but respect and love, destroyed me.
“Levi, look at me,” Lexi pushed again, but I took a deep breath and stepped forward, once again clashing gazes with my youngest brother.
“Lexi, it’s okay,” I said. Her head whipped round in my direction. I could see the panic and upset in her expression, but I flicked a glance to Austin and nodded my head. He returned the gesture.
Reaching forward, Austin took Lexi’s hand and pulled her to him, whispering something in her ear.
Sucking in a deep breath, I turned to Levi. “Lev, I know you’re pissed—”
“Pissed?” he snapped and moved closer still, his knuckles white from how tight his fists were clenched. “Pissed ain’t even close to what I’m feeling about you being here, in our home.” I watched him take a long breath. “You were meant to be away for another five years. You were never meant to come here.”
“He was always meant to come here, Lev. Once he got out, this was always gonna be Axel's home… with us,” Austin said from behind Levi, and Levi glanced back.
Austin reached out and put his hand on Levi’s shoulder. “He’s our brother, Levi. We’re here for him no matter what. We’re Carillos.”
I wanted to speak, tried to speak, but I knew if I opened my mouth, I’d break down like a pussy. Austin, that kid always had my back. Even now, after I’d cut off all contact for years, he acted as though we had nothing but good in our past.
Levi’s mouth tightened and a look of pure disgust set on his face. “Yeah, we have to be there for him?” He tried to step toward me, but Austin’s hand kept him back. It only seemed to piss Levi off more. “Tell me, Austin. Where was our brother after Porter OD’d and he ran away? Where was our brother when he left you to work next to Gio and sacrifice your degree? Where was our brother when our mamma was dying and we nearly lost Pix? And where was our brother when we scattered Mamma’s ashes in Firenze, the only place she’d ever called home?” Levi said the word “brother” like it meant shit to him, like I meant shit to him, and every time he called me out on my sins, it fucking killed me just that little bit more inside.
Why the fuck had I come back? What the hell was I thinking?
“Nah, Aust,” Levi said, curling his lip at me like I was a pile of shit he’d just stepped in. “He ain’t no brother of ours. He’s no Carillo… He’s just a fucking loser of an ex-con that’s going nowhere in life, and he’s come here to use you for money and to drag us back down too.”
Red faced, Levi batted off Austin’s hand, walked to a closet under the stairs to pick up a training bag, and without another glance, walked right out the front door, leaving Austin, Lexi, and me stunned in silence.
Lexi moved from Austin and ran to the door. “Levi! Wait!” I heard her shout from the driveway, but the sound of a car pulling away on gravel drowned her out, and she ran back in.
“Austin! We need to go after him.”
Austin ran a hand down his face and shook his head. “Nah, Pix, leave him. He needs to cool down.”
Watching Lexi wipe her eyes and Austin clearly stressed, I shook my head.
