Elsie’s eyes widened; I’d shocked her with my words. I fought my instinct to remove my hand and dip my head. But after what she had given me, after the poem she had written for me, I kept my head raised and showed conviction in my expression. I may have been shaking with nerves inside, but this girl deserved to hear how beautiful I really thought she was.
Elsie glanced down to her clothes, and meeting my eyes again, mouthed, “Lexi.”
I nodded in understanding. “Lexi bought them for you.”
Elsie nodded her head and pressed her hand over her heart—she was thankful.
Boldly reaching for that hand, I clasped it in mine, beaming inside when Elsie smiled the widest of smiles at our touch. “You ready?” I asked, my voice husky in its sound. She nodded her head. I could see the excitement on her face, an excitement that was already coursing through me.
Leading her down the stairs and into the foyer, I quickly released her hand. “You’ll need that jacket, it’s pretty cold outside.”
Elsie slipped on her jacket, but before she did, I took hold of the zipper, wrapping her up all warm. I heard her quick inhale of breath as my fingers past over her chest, but I ignored it and drew back, retaking her hand in mine.
“Let’s go,” I said and led Elsie to my Jeep. Nothing was said as we made our way into the city, but this silence wasn’t uncomfortable. The only discomfort I felt came from my not knowing how to tell her that I loved the poem, from how much her words meant to me. No one had ever done anything like that for me before—given words as a gift.
The radio played country as we arrived near Pike Place. As Amos Lee sang about “Black River”, Elsie stared out of the window, her searching eyes trying to take everything in.
Parking the Jeep, I got out, walking round to her side to help her out. The wind blew around us, so I took her now-gloved hand and held it in mine. “Original Starbucks,” I announced, then I led her down to Pike Place Market, the smell of fish and salty air immediately surrounding us.
We walked down the street, tourists already filling the road, then we arrived at our first stop. I pointed at the small coffee shop, the scents of the hot coffee filling our noses. “The original store,” I said, and pointed to the large sign above. Elsie smiled up at me and I asked, “You want a coffee? Kinda think we should seen as though we’re here.”
She nodded her head and joined the line inside. I got her a coffee with cream and no sugar. We walked as we drank our coffee. We walked hand in hand until we reached a dock.
I could see Elsie looking all around us, until she looked at me with a furrowed brow. Almost on cue, a boat sounded its horn and began approaching us. Elsie’s hand tightened in mine and I declared, “What better way to see Seattle than by boat.” Elsie swallowed as the boat approached. “You ever been on a boat?” Elsie shook her head.
“You’ll like it,” I said, and prayed to God that I wasn’t messing up this date.
The first date either of us had ever been on.
Chapter Nine
Elsie
It felt like a dream. Every part of this day felt like a dream. The boat, the walking hand in hand, and all because of Levi.
Hours and hours passed and Levi walked me around the city. We ate chowder sitting on a bench overlooking the Sound, and now we were standing at the top of the Space Needle, which overlooked the great city of Seattle.
Levi stood behind me as I drank in the panoramic view. My hands were on the safety rail and Levi shadowed me, his muscled arms on either side of the rail and his hard chest pressed against my back.
Every part of my body felt alive with him this close, his warm breath blowing past my ear. And the entire day he had treated me like I was precious to him. Making sure I was okay, never expecting me to say anything in response. Everybody always wanted me to talk. They had always grown frustrated with my notes, with my crippling fear of speech. But this boy hadn’t.
I’d seen girls looking at him as we walked, beautiful girls with confidence in their smiles. But he seemed not to notice them. If he did, he paid them no mind.
But he did to me. He showered me with attention. Attention I was sure I didn’t deserve.
Levi’s strong hand suddenly landed on my upper arm, pulling me back to the here and now. I felt his breath at my right ear before I heard his soft voice. “Look into the distance, Elsie. You see the mountain?”
Focusing on what was in front of me, I gasped when, in the distance, the peak of a mountain thrust through the white clouds shrouding it. The sight of its beauty made me lose my breath. With Levi immediately behind me, my heart leapt into a sprint, and butterflies swooped in my stomach.
“Mount Rainier, Elsie.”
When I stared at the mountain, I filled with happiness; so much happiness that, for a moment, it dulled when I thought about my life. This didn’t happen to me. My life didn’t have these things. I didn’t have these clothes and I certainly didn’t have these experiences. My days weren’t like this. This wasn’t me.
For a moment, the negative thoughts overwhelmed me, so much that my hands slipped off the rail and I wriggled free of Levi’s protection. I held onto my chest, feeling as though I could feel my mom’s arm hugging me close, her sad eyes telling me that no one would ever understand us, that we would always be alone. Annabelle telling me that no one would ever want me, that the minute I opened my mouth and spoke, they’d see me for the retard I was.
I couldn’t breathe.
Pushing past the people flooding the deck of the Needle, I aimed for the elevator, desperate to return to street-level. “Elsie!” I heard Levi calling my name, but I had to get away… I needed a break from all of this.
Reaching the elevator, I stood at the back of the line waiting to board. The elevator arrived within a few seconds and I stepped inside, just as Levi’s hand landed on my arm. I wanted to call out to tell him to let me go. But as I pushed to the back of the elevator, he wrapped me in his arms.
I heard people following us, but Levi held me tight, until my arms wrapped around his waist. The elevator began to descend. I gripped onto to him like he was my lifeline. Hearing the door open, I let him lead me outside. I let him lead me away, until his heavy arms loosened and I lifted my head to feel the wind. I breathed, I breathed and I breathed, until my racing heart began to slow.
One of Levi’s hands stayed on my back, and I turned, registering concern on his face. His head tilted to the side and he asked, “Elsie, are you okay?”
I shook my head, fighting the tears pricking in my eyes. I glanced at the crowd of people in the distance and reached up to hold tightly onto my locket.
Baby girl, we’re not as lucky as others in this life. There’s no place for us. They’ll laugh; they always laugh…
Squeezing my lids shut, I sucked in a breath and found myself pulled into the comfort of Levi’s chest. “You want to go home?” he asked, in a voice as soft as a feather.
I inhaled his warm scent and shook my head. I didn’t want to go back to the mansion where he lived. I… I didn’t know where I wanted to be, where I wanted to go.
Levi was watching me, and he placed his finger under my chin and asked, “Can I take you one more place?” He cast his gaze round us and said, “It’s getting dark, and there’s one last place I want you to see.”
Elsie glanced down to her clothes, and meeting my eyes again, mouthed, “Lexi.”
I nodded in understanding. “Lexi bought them for you.”
Elsie nodded her head and pressed her hand over her heart—she was thankful.
Boldly reaching for that hand, I clasped it in mine, beaming inside when Elsie smiled the widest of smiles at our touch. “You ready?” I asked, my voice husky in its sound. She nodded her head. I could see the excitement on her face, an excitement that was already coursing through me.
Leading her down the stairs and into the foyer, I quickly released her hand. “You’ll need that jacket, it’s pretty cold outside.”
Elsie slipped on her jacket, but before she did, I took hold of the zipper, wrapping her up all warm. I heard her quick inhale of breath as my fingers past over her chest, but I ignored it and drew back, retaking her hand in mine.
“Let’s go,” I said and led Elsie to my Jeep. Nothing was said as we made our way into the city, but this silence wasn’t uncomfortable. The only discomfort I felt came from my not knowing how to tell her that I loved the poem, from how much her words meant to me. No one had ever done anything like that for me before—given words as a gift.
The radio played country as we arrived near Pike Place. As Amos Lee sang about “Black River”, Elsie stared out of the window, her searching eyes trying to take everything in.
Parking the Jeep, I got out, walking round to her side to help her out. The wind blew around us, so I took her now-gloved hand and held it in mine. “Original Starbucks,” I announced, then I led her down to Pike Place Market, the smell of fish and salty air immediately surrounding us.
We walked down the street, tourists already filling the road, then we arrived at our first stop. I pointed at the small coffee shop, the scents of the hot coffee filling our noses. “The original store,” I said, and pointed to the large sign above. Elsie smiled up at me and I asked, “You want a coffee? Kinda think we should seen as though we’re here.”
She nodded her head and joined the line inside. I got her a coffee with cream and no sugar. We walked as we drank our coffee. We walked hand in hand until we reached a dock.
I could see Elsie looking all around us, until she looked at me with a furrowed brow. Almost on cue, a boat sounded its horn and began approaching us. Elsie’s hand tightened in mine and I declared, “What better way to see Seattle than by boat.” Elsie swallowed as the boat approached. “You ever been on a boat?” Elsie shook her head.
“You’ll like it,” I said, and prayed to God that I wasn’t messing up this date.
The first date either of us had ever been on.
Chapter Nine
Elsie
It felt like a dream. Every part of this day felt like a dream. The boat, the walking hand in hand, and all because of Levi.
Hours and hours passed and Levi walked me around the city. We ate chowder sitting on a bench overlooking the Sound, and now we were standing at the top of the Space Needle, which overlooked the great city of Seattle.
Levi stood behind me as I drank in the panoramic view. My hands were on the safety rail and Levi shadowed me, his muscled arms on either side of the rail and his hard chest pressed against my back.
Every part of my body felt alive with him this close, his warm breath blowing past my ear. And the entire day he had treated me like I was precious to him. Making sure I was okay, never expecting me to say anything in response. Everybody always wanted me to talk. They had always grown frustrated with my notes, with my crippling fear of speech. But this boy hadn’t.
I’d seen girls looking at him as we walked, beautiful girls with confidence in their smiles. But he seemed not to notice them. If he did, he paid them no mind.
But he did to me. He showered me with attention. Attention I was sure I didn’t deserve.
Levi’s strong hand suddenly landed on my upper arm, pulling me back to the here and now. I felt his breath at my right ear before I heard his soft voice. “Look into the distance, Elsie. You see the mountain?”
Focusing on what was in front of me, I gasped when, in the distance, the peak of a mountain thrust through the white clouds shrouding it. The sight of its beauty made me lose my breath. With Levi immediately behind me, my heart leapt into a sprint, and butterflies swooped in my stomach.
“Mount Rainier, Elsie.”
When I stared at the mountain, I filled with happiness; so much happiness that, for a moment, it dulled when I thought about my life. This didn’t happen to me. My life didn’t have these things. I didn’t have these clothes and I certainly didn’t have these experiences. My days weren’t like this. This wasn’t me.
For a moment, the negative thoughts overwhelmed me, so much that my hands slipped off the rail and I wriggled free of Levi’s protection. I held onto my chest, feeling as though I could feel my mom’s arm hugging me close, her sad eyes telling me that no one would ever understand us, that we would always be alone. Annabelle telling me that no one would ever want me, that the minute I opened my mouth and spoke, they’d see me for the retard I was.
I couldn’t breathe.
Pushing past the people flooding the deck of the Needle, I aimed for the elevator, desperate to return to street-level. “Elsie!” I heard Levi calling my name, but I had to get away… I needed a break from all of this.
Reaching the elevator, I stood at the back of the line waiting to board. The elevator arrived within a few seconds and I stepped inside, just as Levi’s hand landed on my arm. I wanted to call out to tell him to let me go. But as I pushed to the back of the elevator, he wrapped me in his arms.
I heard people following us, but Levi held me tight, until my arms wrapped around his waist. The elevator began to descend. I gripped onto to him like he was my lifeline. Hearing the door open, I let him lead me outside. I let him lead me away, until his heavy arms loosened and I lifted my head to feel the wind. I breathed, I breathed and I breathed, until my racing heart began to slow.
One of Levi’s hands stayed on my back, and I turned, registering concern on his face. His head tilted to the side and he asked, “Elsie, are you okay?”
I shook my head, fighting the tears pricking in my eyes. I glanced at the crowd of people in the distance and reached up to hold tightly onto my locket.
Baby girl, we’re not as lucky as others in this life. There’s no place for us. They’ll laugh; they always laugh…
Squeezing my lids shut, I sucked in a breath and found myself pulled into the comfort of Levi’s chest. “You want to go home?” he asked, in a voice as soft as a feather.
I inhaled his warm scent and shook my head. I didn’t want to go back to the mansion where he lived. I… I didn’t know where I wanted to be, where I wanted to go.
Levi was watching me, and he placed his finger under my chin and asked, “Can I take you one more place?” He cast his gaze round us and said, “It’s getting dark, and there’s one last place I want you to see.”
