It was a scary thought but not as scary as it would have been even three weeks before. Suddenly she could see herself at this table with these people. See herself as part of their family. See herself with Shane.
The danger of hope was the very real chance of losing it. She wasn’t sure she could afford it but her therapist seemed very happy and sure Cassie had the strength to succeed in a relationship with a man like Shane. She just had to find the strength to keep on believing in herself. To let go of the Carly she’d been and embrace Cassie and her future.
“You ready to run for Florida yet?” Shane teased as he drove her home.
“I like your family, Shane. They’re all very nice and worked to make me feel welcome.”
“They like you too, darlin’. I’d ask you to dinner next Sunday but with the party on Monday, I think my momma will be cooking and getting ready. The woman loves to throw a party.”
“But it’s her birthday. Oh see, I’m putting her out. I’m going to call a caterer so she doesn’t have to do all the work. I’d do it myself but I’m a terrible cook.”
Shane laughed. “Cassie, my mother loves to plan parties. She does. She loves to cook and be with her family. She lives for this stuff. You’ll see when Homecoming approaches. And I don’t want you spending any money anyway. I know it must be tight with just being part-time at the book store. My dad wanted to talk to you about some work in his office but he didn’t get the chance. You should call him about it.”
“I don’t need the job. I told Penny that. I really don’t. I have some money set aside and with the jewelry beginning to take off, things are very comfortable.”
“Comfortable? Come on, Cassie. I know you can’t be making much more than your rent. Where is the money coming from for you to live?”
“I told you, I have some money set aside.”
“From the divorce?”
Money was a sore subject. She’d fought over it with Terry many times as it was a chief way to control her movements. As a surgeon she’d made an excellent living but her checks were direct deposited and he kept a tight hold on their bank account.
“Shane, I told you all you need to know. I appreciate your concern but it’s not necessary.”
“You know, you have to give some too. It’s not fair of you to expect me to do all the compromising.”
“Do I ask you how you pay your bills, Shane? How is it a compromise on my part to tell you how much money is in my bank account and where it came from? I told you I had enough to pay my bills and be comfortable. I’m not sure how it’s any business of yours where it comes from.”
“I’m the sheriff; it’s my business if it’s from an illegal source.”
He pulled in front of her building and stopped the truck.
“Are you accusing me of breaking the law? All because I won’t let you snoop in my finances?”
He knew he was in trouble when he saw the set of her jaw and anger flashing in her eyes. Put the way she’d said it, he saw her point. Still, it frustrated him that she kept trying to keep him out. He was a cop. He couldn’t turn it off even if he was dealing with his girlfriend. He knew that bookstore job couldn’t pay very much and even if her jewelry business was doing really well, it couldn’t be doing much more than paying her rent. He truly didn’t think she was involved in something illegal but he hated not knowing and hated her not sharing with him even more.
“I’m sorry. Yes, I did insinuate that but I don’t mean it. I’m just agitated that you keep hiding from me.”
“I am not hiding from you. I’ve let you in further than anyone else other than my brother. That doesn’t mean I’m going to let you snoop in my checkbook. I think I need to go in before we say something we regret.” She grabbed the door handle.
“Are you always going to run away when things get difficult?”
She turned to him, shock on her face. “You don’t know a f**king thing about it, Shane.”
He knew he should shut up but damn it, his mouth wouldn’t listen. “Then tell me! How can I know if you won’t tell me?”
“You don’t get every part of me! I am the only person entitled to all of me. If you need to know every bit of me and what I do, I can’t offer it to you. I won’t. I’ve been there and I will not go back.”
“I’m sick of you comparing me to him, Cassie.”
“Well, let me make it easy for you then. I won’t compare you to anyone. Goodnight, Shane.”
She got out of the car and began to walk to her apartment. He sat in his car and watched until she got inside and drove off.
Chapter Ten
For the next several days, he tried to tell himself he didn’t need the aggravation of such a difficult woman in his life. He needed a woman who’d share with him without reservation.
He avoided the side of town the bookstore was on. Tried not to think about her. Matt was annoyed as hell at him. Gave him a lecture about how of course Cassie got her back up when she’d been controlled all those years and how Shane had a tendency to steamroll people to get what he wanted. Made the infuriating comment that Cassie was as stubborn as Shane was and that he’d met his match in her.
On Thursday he walked past the Honey Bear and saw the familiar fall of ebony hair and that long tall body. Cassie sat inside having lunch with Marc of all people. Shane stood at the door for a while, watching his little brother laugh and flirt and cajole Cassie. Just when he was ready to go in there and snatch his brother bald headed for moving in on his woman, Shane realized Marc was trying to get her to eat.
The danger of hope was the very real chance of losing it. She wasn’t sure she could afford it but her therapist seemed very happy and sure Cassie had the strength to succeed in a relationship with a man like Shane. She just had to find the strength to keep on believing in herself. To let go of the Carly she’d been and embrace Cassie and her future.
“You ready to run for Florida yet?” Shane teased as he drove her home.
“I like your family, Shane. They’re all very nice and worked to make me feel welcome.”
“They like you too, darlin’. I’d ask you to dinner next Sunday but with the party on Monday, I think my momma will be cooking and getting ready. The woman loves to throw a party.”
“But it’s her birthday. Oh see, I’m putting her out. I’m going to call a caterer so she doesn’t have to do all the work. I’d do it myself but I’m a terrible cook.”
Shane laughed. “Cassie, my mother loves to plan parties. She does. She loves to cook and be with her family. She lives for this stuff. You’ll see when Homecoming approaches. And I don’t want you spending any money anyway. I know it must be tight with just being part-time at the book store. My dad wanted to talk to you about some work in his office but he didn’t get the chance. You should call him about it.”
“I don’t need the job. I told Penny that. I really don’t. I have some money set aside and with the jewelry beginning to take off, things are very comfortable.”
“Comfortable? Come on, Cassie. I know you can’t be making much more than your rent. Where is the money coming from for you to live?”
“I told you, I have some money set aside.”
“From the divorce?”
Money was a sore subject. She’d fought over it with Terry many times as it was a chief way to control her movements. As a surgeon she’d made an excellent living but her checks were direct deposited and he kept a tight hold on their bank account.
“Shane, I told you all you need to know. I appreciate your concern but it’s not necessary.”
“You know, you have to give some too. It’s not fair of you to expect me to do all the compromising.”
“Do I ask you how you pay your bills, Shane? How is it a compromise on my part to tell you how much money is in my bank account and where it came from? I told you I had enough to pay my bills and be comfortable. I’m not sure how it’s any business of yours where it comes from.”
“I’m the sheriff; it’s my business if it’s from an illegal source.”
He pulled in front of her building and stopped the truck.
“Are you accusing me of breaking the law? All because I won’t let you snoop in my finances?”
He knew he was in trouble when he saw the set of her jaw and anger flashing in her eyes. Put the way she’d said it, he saw her point. Still, it frustrated him that she kept trying to keep him out. He was a cop. He couldn’t turn it off even if he was dealing with his girlfriend. He knew that bookstore job couldn’t pay very much and even if her jewelry business was doing really well, it couldn’t be doing much more than paying her rent. He truly didn’t think she was involved in something illegal but he hated not knowing and hated her not sharing with him even more.
“I’m sorry. Yes, I did insinuate that but I don’t mean it. I’m just agitated that you keep hiding from me.”
“I am not hiding from you. I’ve let you in further than anyone else other than my brother. That doesn’t mean I’m going to let you snoop in my checkbook. I think I need to go in before we say something we regret.” She grabbed the door handle.
“Are you always going to run away when things get difficult?”
She turned to him, shock on her face. “You don’t know a f**king thing about it, Shane.”
He knew he should shut up but damn it, his mouth wouldn’t listen. “Then tell me! How can I know if you won’t tell me?”
“You don’t get every part of me! I am the only person entitled to all of me. If you need to know every bit of me and what I do, I can’t offer it to you. I won’t. I’ve been there and I will not go back.”
“I’m sick of you comparing me to him, Cassie.”
“Well, let me make it easy for you then. I won’t compare you to anyone. Goodnight, Shane.”
She got out of the car and began to walk to her apartment. He sat in his car and watched until she got inside and drove off.
Chapter Ten
For the next several days, he tried to tell himself he didn’t need the aggravation of such a difficult woman in his life. He needed a woman who’d share with him without reservation.
He avoided the side of town the bookstore was on. Tried not to think about her. Matt was annoyed as hell at him. Gave him a lecture about how of course Cassie got her back up when she’d been controlled all those years and how Shane had a tendency to steamroll people to get what he wanted. Made the infuriating comment that Cassie was as stubborn as Shane was and that he’d met his match in her.
On Thursday he walked past the Honey Bear and saw the familiar fall of ebony hair and that long tall body. Cassie sat inside having lunch with Marc of all people. Shane stood at the door for a while, watching his little brother laugh and flirt and cajole Cassie. Just when he was ready to go in there and snatch his brother bald headed for moving in on his woman, Shane realized Marc was trying to get her to eat.
