Shane managed to convince her that she and Brian should stay at his house because it was bigger and more comfortable for everyone. In truth she spent seventy percent of her time there anyway, and Brian knew they were a couple and was very happy about that fact.
Even though she had a key, she knocked on Shane’s door and ignored his annoyed look when he saw she’d not used the key.
“Hi, baby, take these will you?” She thrust the packages at him and bent to pick up a bag of extra clothes she’d packed.
“Darlin’, use your key. You’re not a guest. And let me get that.” He held the door and then went to put the packages under the tree they’d both picked out the weekend before.
“It feels weird just letting myself in.”
He grabbed her and pulled her down onto the couch with him. “Move in here and it won’t feel weird.”
“What?”
“I’d ask you to marry me but I know that would be rushing you. But I want you here with me. I want to wake up with you every morning. I like that my bathroom has your stuff in it. I want to build a life together.”
“I…I don’t know if I’m ready for that.”
His face lost a bit of its light and seeing that she’d caused him pain sliced through her. But she was afraid of making another Terry-sized mistake.
She put her hand to his face. “I love you, Shane. But it’s only been five months since I met you.”
“Almost six and I love you too. You’re here or I’m at your place almost every night. What’s the difference?”
“Shane I don’t want to hurt you but I need the haven of my own place right now.”
Kissing her he nodded. “Okay, fair enough. But you know how I hate it when you treat me like I’m him.”
“This argument is really old, Shane. I don’t want to have it again. I promise you that’s not what I’m doing.”
“Bull. If it hadn’t been for him you’d move in here. How is that not making me pay for his behavior?”
“If it hadn’t been for him I wouldn’t be here so that’s a moot point. Stop making this about you! I am not wanting to take this slow because I think you’re Terry. I know you’re not Terry. I’m taking this slow because the last man I lived with nearly killed me after beating the hell out of my body and soul for years. The difference is pretty major, Shane.”
“It feels the same to me.”
She stepped back, out of his embrace. “I’m sorry. All I can do is feel what I feel and tell you the truth of it. I’m being honest and trying my damndest to explain the inexplicable to you. This is about me. If you choose to make it about you, I can’t stop you.”
“Why are you so difficult? Why don’t you let me love you?”
“I do. I’ve given myself to you, heart and body. I’m not giving anyone my soul, Shane. I love you, more than anyone I’ve ever loved but that’s not going to stop me from using my common sense. I’m sorry it offends you that I want to wait to move in together. I’m not doing it because I don’t trust you or want to be with you. I’m asking you to respect my feelings and to give me time. But I can’t make you what you aren’t any more than I’ll let you make me into what I’m not. So if you can’t live with that, tell me now so I can walk away. I’m in deep enough with you and your family, if you’re going to break it off, do it now.”
Pacing, he shoved a hand through his hair. “I’m not going to break it off. I love you. Things would be so much easier if you just agreed with everything I said.”
Cassie snorted a laugh and he moved to where she was standing to pull her close. “You’re a very complicated, difficult woman.”
“You’re a very arrogant, difficult man.”
“Perfect match.” He grinned.
“So you say.”
“I do. Wanna get lucky? I’ll let you open a present early.”
“Oh you think I’ll fall for that one twice?”
Laughing, he took her down to the carpet.
“I can’t believe you gave me rug burn on my ass,” Cassie murmured in Shane’s ear as they had Christmas Eve dinner around a table filled with only about four hundred of his family members.
He chuckled. “It was worth it.”
“For you! I was on the bottom.”
“Next time roll me over, darlin’, I’m quite happy to have you on top.”
She fought off laughter. “As if I’m not nervous enough meeting all these people, I have rug burn.”
“And a bit of beard burn on your inner thighs too, I’d wager.”
The charming devil had the audacity to leer at her and she burst out laughing. Luckily, everyone seemed to find their interaction wonderful and amusing and his grandparents only dropped marriage and great-grandchild hints about every twenty minutes.
“Did you tell Shane about how you felt like you were being watched at the department store earlier?” Edward’s voice was casual but Cassie heard steel there and fought annoyance as her brother and Shane both rounded on her.
“I just felt weird, not necessarily watched. And no, I hadn’t had the chance to tell either my brother or Shane about it. Thanks for that, though.” She rolled her eyes at Edward and Polly sighed and smacked her husband on the arm.
“Cassie, you promised to tell me!” Shane glared at her.
“And me,” Brian echoed.
Even though she had a key, she knocked on Shane’s door and ignored his annoyed look when he saw she’d not used the key.
“Hi, baby, take these will you?” She thrust the packages at him and bent to pick up a bag of extra clothes she’d packed.
“Darlin’, use your key. You’re not a guest. And let me get that.” He held the door and then went to put the packages under the tree they’d both picked out the weekend before.
“It feels weird just letting myself in.”
He grabbed her and pulled her down onto the couch with him. “Move in here and it won’t feel weird.”
“What?”
“I’d ask you to marry me but I know that would be rushing you. But I want you here with me. I want to wake up with you every morning. I like that my bathroom has your stuff in it. I want to build a life together.”
“I…I don’t know if I’m ready for that.”
His face lost a bit of its light and seeing that she’d caused him pain sliced through her. But she was afraid of making another Terry-sized mistake.
She put her hand to his face. “I love you, Shane. But it’s only been five months since I met you.”
“Almost six and I love you too. You’re here or I’m at your place almost every night. What’s the difference?”
“Shane I don’t want to hurt you but I need the haven of my own place right now.”
Kissing her he nodded. “Okay, fair enough. But you know how I hate it when you treat me like I’m him.”
“This argument is really old, Shane. I don’t want to have it again. I promise you that’s not what I’m doing.”
“Bull. If it hadn’t been for him you’d move in here. How is that not making me pay for his behavior?”
“If it hadn’t been for him I wouldn’t be here so that’s a moot point. Stop making this about you! I am not wanting to take this slow because I think you’re Terry. I know you’re not Terry. I’m taking this slow because the last man I lived with nearly killed me after beating the hell out of my body and soul for years. The difference is pretty major, Shane.”
“It feels the same to me.”
She stepped back, out of his embrace. “I’m sorry. All I can do is feel what I feel and tell you the truth of it. I’m being honest and trying my damndest to explain the inexplicable to you. This is about me. If you choose to make it about you, I can’t stop you.”
“Why are you so difficult? Why don’t you let me love you?”
“I do. I’ve given myself to you, heart and body. I’m not giving anyone my soul, Shane. I love you, more than anyone I’ve ever loved but that’s not going to stop me from using my common sense. I’m sorry it offends you that I want to wait to move in together. I’m not doing it because I don’t trust you or want to be with you. I’m asking you to respect my feelings and to give me time. But I can’t make you what you aren’t any more than I’ll let you make me into what I’m not. So if you can’t live with that, tell me now so I can walk away. I’m in deep enough with you and your family, if you’re going to break it off, do it now.”
Pacing, he shoved a hand through his hair. “I’m not going to break it off. I love you. Things would be so much easier if you just agreed with everything I said.”
Cassie snorted a laugh and he moved to where she was standing to pull her close. “You’re a very complicated, difficult woman.”
“You’re a very arrogant, difficult man.”
“Perfect match.” He grinned.
“So you say.”
“I do. Wanna get lucky? I’ll let you open a present early.”
“Oh you think I’ll fall for that one twice?”
Laughing, he took her down to the carpet.
“I can’t believe you gave me rug burn on my ass,” Cassie murmured in Shane’s ear as they had Christmas Eve dinner around a table filled with only about four hundred of his family members.
He chuckled. “It was worth it.”
“For you! I was on the bottom.”
“Next time roll me over, darlin’, I’m quite happy to have you on top.”
She fought off laughter. “As if I’m not nervous enough meeting all these people, I have rug burn.”
“And a bit of beard burn on your inner thighs too, I’d wager.”
The charming devil had the audacity to leer at her and she burst out laughing. Luckily, everyone seemed to find their interaction wonderful and amusing and his grandparents only dropped marriage and great-grandchild hints about every twenty minutes.
“Did you tell Shane about how you felt like you were being watched at the department store earlier?” Edward’s voice was casual but Cassie heard steel there and fought annoyance as her brother and Shane both rounded on her.
“I just felt weird, not necessarily watched. And no, I hadn’t had the chance to tell either my brother or Shane about it. Thanks for that, though.” She rolled her eyes at Edward and Polly sighed and smacked her husband on the arm.
“Cassie, you promised to tell me!” Shane glared at her.
“And me,” Brian echoed.
