The Best Goodbye
Page 36

“I want to . . . tonight. I’m ready.”
Fuck. OK. We’d been messing around a little at night while kissing, but I always ended it before it got painful. This was not what I expected from her. “Why? I mean, are you sure?” My eyes drifted back over her smooth skin that I so wanted to touch. That I wanted to feel move against mine.
“Because I love you, and I want to be as close to you as I can be,” she whispered.
I made a step toward her, and my hands trembled as I got closer. This was it. Tonight I’d have her in a way no one else ever would. She would become mine completely. We would know each other more deeply. Our connection was already unlike anything I’d ever experienced in my life, but this would make it unbreakable.
“Are you sure?” I asked, before I reached out to touch her bare hip.
“Yes,” she said, and I didn’t hesitate. I pulled her to me and claimed her mouth, while her body molded to mine. The sex I’d had in the backs of cars and other less appealing locations had been for release, because I was horny and they were willing and it felt good.
But this was different. I wanted to memorize every second. Every inch of her body. When I sank inside Addy, I would give her all of me that she didn’t already own. “I love you so much,” I said against her lips, as I moved us over to her bed.
“I love you, too,” she said, gazing up at me with all the trust in the world.
I’d never been with a virgin. “It will hurt you at first,” I told her, praying she wouldn’t back out now.
She smiled and ducked her head against my chest. “I know, but with your arms around me, it won’t matter. We’ll be as close as we can get. That’s what I want more than anything.”
My trembling was getting worse. The excitement, need, and desire inside for this one girl, mixed with how much I loved her, was almost too much.
“Take off your shirt, River. I want to feel you against me with nothing between us,” she said against my chest, then moved back just enough so I could do as she asked.
Her breasts moved up and down quickly as her breathing became more rapid. Her eyes were on my shirt, and I reached for it to pull it over my head. Her tight pink nipples teased me, and the idea of feeling them against my bare chest brought me dangerously close to coming in my jeans. This might be more than I could handle.
Dropping my shirt, I stared at her, waiting. I needed her to make the move. I was afraid of scaring her. Without hesitation, she lifted her arms to wrap around my neck as she stood on her tiptoes and pressed her breasts against me.
“Fuuuuck,” I whispered in a groan, unable not to respond verbally.
“It feels so good, doesn’t it?” she said with a soft moan.
“Yes,” I replied, moving my hands down her back until they slowly cupped her bare butt. I lifted her up, pressing her against me, and then she wrapped her legs around me, putting her center right over my crotch. The heat from her seared through my jeans. The image of her being open like this and pressed against me just about made my knees buckle. I had to sink onto the bed, holding her.
She moved her hips slightly, and the heat in her eyes ignited. “Oh, that . . . oh,” she said softly. She was moving her sensitive clit over the ridge in my jeans. I held her still.
“Don’t, baby. This will be over before it begins if you do that. I can’t handle it. I’m already too close,” I told her, my voice low and gravelly.
“OK, well, can you get naked, then, too?”
The fact that she was turned on enough to ask me something so brave and out of character had me smiling. Addy was asking me to get naked. If I was asleep, I was going to wake up so fucking pissed.
Addy
Listening to Franny talk about our dinner date with Captain in two nights’ time was hard. I wasn’t ready to see him, much less have dinner with him. As a matter of fact, as soon as Franny left for school that morning, I was calling in sick. I didn’t want to face him today. Not after the roller coaster last night.
I went from feeling like we were connecting to feeling totally rejected. I actually wanted him, but he had tossed me aside because I hadn’t had sex in ten years. To make things even more brilliant, when Brad had joked that he’d put a corn cob up the ass of a particularly difficult guest, which was the only thing that had made me laugh that whole shitty day, Captain had come stalking into the kitchen like a madman. He was furious because Brad had made me laugh? Was that unacceptable?
“And I told Cameron how tall my dad is and that he has big muscles. He has big muscles, doesn’t he, Mommy?”
Yes, her father had muscles. Not the body-builder kind but the tough working-man kind. I nodded and took a mouthful of my oatmeal. He also had really amazing eyes, and his lashes were long and dark compared with the highlights in his hair.
“She said her daddy was bigger, but I know he’s not. Mine is more handsome. I know that. I don’t think anyone has a daddy as handsome as mine.”
She had a point there. I wasn’t going to comment, though. I just kept spooning up my oatmeal.
“Do you think he’ll be at my birthday party?”
Franny’s birthday wasn’t for another five months. I had no idea what the future held for us and Captain. I had never lied to her before. I’d been honest about everything. Except, of course, keeping the truth from her about the reason we were in Rosemary Beach, but that had been a temporary omission.
“I don’t know, Franny. That’s a long way off, and we’re just now easing him into our lives. He could move away.” I’d heard he’d never planned on sticking around here for long. “He could visit you when he has time. I just don’t know right now.”