The Best Kind of Trouble
Page 31
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She sighed, chewing her bottom lip. It was a really good apology. Earnest. “I don’t know how to do this. I don’t know how to be with someone.”
He laughed, stepping closer and hesitating before he closed the distance entirely, hugging her. “Me, either. The only way out is through, right? Isn’t that the saying? We’ll have to learn as we go. No way around it because we’re both total noobs in the relationship department.”
“You’re being very reasonable. You make this seem so easy. It’s really not.”
“I’m faking it. I like you. I think you’re worth the work, and I hope I am, too.” He gave her a quick grin. “You wanna tell me about the trust fund? Why you’re so uncomfortable with it? Is it from something horrible? Blood diamonds or apartheid or something?”
“The money isn’t any more horrible than other old money tends to be. My great-grandfather and his brother invented several different medical and scientific devices when they were young men. Then my grandfather invested smart when he was very young and got a huge return on it.”
He stepped back, sliding an arm around her shoulders. “Okay, then. You’re staying the night, right?”
She had a choice. To step forward and be in this relationship with him. Just dating, yes, but it was a conscious choice, and she couldn’t do it if she didn’t intend to try her best. She could walk away and say it wasn’t worth the trouble. It was trouble. Paddy Hurley had trouble written all over him. His loud, nosy family, too.
But.
She liked him. A lot. And his nosy, loud family, too.
“Yeah. I’m sorry I started to run off.”
He kissed the top of her head. “We both have learning to do. Luckily, sex helps.”
CHAPTER ELEVEN
“SO WHEN’S HOTTIE MCROCKSTAR showing up to shower you with attention?” Tuesday grabbed a windbreaker from the closet and tossed Natalie’s in her direction. The day was warm enough, even for the end of October, but things got cold out of the direct sun.
They hadn’t been out on a hike in a few months because of how busy they’d been, but Tuesday had used her amazing gift for guilt and ambushed Natalie that morning at breakfast with a promise of girl time and the beauty of fall in the Columbia Gorge.
Frankly, she’d have been just as happy looking at it from the car or in some pictures, but Sporty Spice wouldn’t have allowed such a thing.
“He’d love that you called him that.” Natalie tied her shoes. “Don’t say that stuff in front of him. He’s bad enough as it is. The man has no shortage of self-esteem.” He’d been...courting her she supposed, over the past months. Since their dinner on his boat, he’d just inserted himself in her life.
Which was why she and Tuesday hadn’t been able to spend as much time together. He knew her days off and often showed up to sweep her off somewhere.
“I think he’s off doing something band-related today. They’re writing material right now, so he and Ezra are hanging out. Probably punching one another in between lyrics.”
“I’m really going to have to meet this brother of his.” Tuesday snorted.
“He’s gorgeous like they all are. My God. Big and brawny. He loves animals, too. But he’s got a darkness to him. Anyway, I’m sorry I’ve been caught up in him.”
They walked out to the car and headed out to one of Tuesday’s favorite trails to the east of town.
“You really haven’t, you know.”
“Haven’t what?”
“Been caught up in him. He wants more, and you’re pretending not to notice.”
“Am not! Yeah. Maybe. I don’t know. He’s...complicated. He’s a man, yes, but he’s also an artist, and so sometimes he’s all refreshingly honest and up front and other times he’s broody and emo, and then I get a little panicky.”
“Panicky that he’ll turn into Bob and make you clean up his messes?”
“I never claimed to be well-adjusted.”
“Who the hell is well-adjusted, Natalie? God, cut yourself a damned break sometimes. Everyone is shaped by how they grew up and who was influential during those years. What you dealt with made you into who you are today. It created your triggers and buttons. It makes you resentful over certain things and hesitant to confront others. And it’s made you strong. You are a fierce woman. Seems to me any relationship is going to be about two people, each with a bunch of shit they don’t know how to deal with appropriately but whose tolerance of that works to keep things together and on track.”
It was difficult sometimes to be known so well.
“Are you honest with him?”
They drove out of town. “I’m working on it. I mean, yes, I’m honest but it’s taking time to feel okay revealing things to him. We’re both learning, I think. He’s better at this stuff than I am most of the time, though sometimes he messes up.”
“You mean the trust-fund thing?”
“No, not really. That was three weeks ago at this point, and we’re past it. I talked a little about why I need to be the one who makes the choice to reveal that sort of thing. He’s trying. So I’m trying. He just sort of throws himself at life.”
“And that makes you nervous.”
“Yes. It makes me nervous that he’s just rushing headlong through his life and since we’re dating, I’m along for that ride sometimes. I like his brothers. They’re all funny and welcoming and stuff. But when they’re together, it’s sort of overwhelming. It’s loud and slightly out of control, and it pushes my buttons.”
He laughed, stepping closer and hesitating before he closed the distance entirely, hugging her. “Me, either. The only way out is through, right? Isn’t that the saying? We’ll have to learn as we go. No way around it because we’re both total noobs in the relationship department.”
“You’re being very reasonable. You make this seem so easy. It’s really not.”
“I’m faking it. I like you. I think you’re worth the work, and I hope I am, too.” He gave her a quick grin. “You wanna tell me about the trust fund? Why you’re so uncomfortable with it? Is it from something horrible? Blood diamonds or apartheid or something?”
“The money isn’t any more horrible than other old money tends to be. My great-grandfather and his brother invented several different medical and scientific devices when they were young men. Then my grandfather invested smart when he was very young and got a huge return on it.”
He stepped back, sliding an arm around her shoulders. “Okay, then. You’re staying the night, right?”
She had a choice. To step forward and be in this relationship with him. Just dating, yes, but it was a conscious choice, and she couldn’t do it if she didn’t intend to try her best. She could walk away and say it wasn’t worth the trouble. It was trouble. Paddy Hurley had trouble written all over him. His loud, nosy family, too.
But.
She liked him. A lot. And his nosy, loud family, too.
“Yeah. I’m sorry I started to run off.”
He kissed the top of her head. “We both have learning to do. Luckily, sex helps.”
CHAPTER ELEVEN
“SO WHEN’S HOTTIE MCROCKSTAR showing up to shower you with attention?” Tuesday grabbed a windbreaker from the closet and tossed Natalie’s in her direction. The day was warm enough, even for the end of October, but things got cold out of the direct sun.
They hadn’t been out on a hike in a few months because of how busy they’d been, but Tuesday had used her amazing gift for guilt and ambushed Natalie that morning at breakfast with a promise of girl time and the beauty of fall in the Columbia Gorge.
Frankly, she’d have been just as happy looking at it from the car or in some pictures, but Sporty Spice wouldn’t have allowed such a thing.
“He’d love that you called him that.” Natalie tied her shoes. “Don’t say that stuff in front of him. He’s bad enough as it is. The man has no shortage of self-esteem.” He’d been...courting her she supposed, over the past months. Since their dinner on his boat, he’d just inserted himself in her life.
Which was why she and Tuesday hadn’t been able to spend as much time together. He knew her days off and often showed up to sweep her off somewhere.
“I think he’s off doing something band-related today. They’re writing material right now, so he and Ezra are hanging out. Probably punching one another in between lyrics.”
“I’m really going to have to meet this brother of his.” Tuesday snorted.
“He’s gorgeous like they all are. My God. Big and brawny. He loves animals, too. But he’s got a darkness to him. Anyway, I’m sorry I’ve been caught up in him.”
They walked out to the car and headed out to one of Tuesday’s favorite trails to the east of town.
“You really haven’t, you know.”
“Haven’t what?”
“Been caught up in him. He wants more, and you’re pretending not to notice.”
“Am not! Yeah. Maybe. I don’t know. He’s...complicated. He’s a man, yes, but he’s also an artist, and so sometimes he’s all refreshingly honest and up front and other times he’s broody and emo, and then I get a little panicky.”
“Panicky that he’ll turn into Bob and make you clean up his messes?”
“I never claimed to be well-adjusted.”
“Who the hell is well-adjusted, Natalie? God, cut yourself a damned break sometimes. Everyone is shaped by how they grew up and who was influential during those years. What you dealt with made you into who you are today. It created your triggers and buttons. It makes you resentful over certain things and hesitant to confront others. And it’s made you strong. You are a fierce woman. Seems to me any relationship is going to be about two people, each with a bunch of shit they don’t know how to deal with appropriately but whose tolerance of that works to keep things together and on track.”
It was difficult sometimes to be known so well.
“Are you honest with him?”
They drove out of town. “I’m working on it. I mean, yes, I’m honest but it’s taking time to feel okay revealing things to him. We’re both learning, I think. He’s better at this stuff than I am most of the time, though sometimes he messes up.”
“You mean the trust-fund thing?”
“No, not really. That was three weeks ago at this point, and we’re past it. I talked a little about why I need to be the one who makes the choice to reveal that sort of thing. He’s trying. So I’m trying. He just sort of throws himself at life.”
“And that makes you nervous.”
“Yes. It makes me nervous that he’s just rushing headlong through his life and since we’re dating, I’m along for that ride sometimes. I like his brothers. They’re all funny and welcoming and stuff. But when they’re together, it’s sort of overwhelming. It’s loud and slightly out of control, and it pushes my buttons.”
