Author: Robyn Carr
“Lot’s more than just flowers out here,” she said. “This is beautiful.”
“I’ve never been here. It just looked like an interesting road.”
She sighed deeply. “I stay too busy with work, chores and Landon. I haven’t been exploring enough around here. I’m glad we did this today.”
“Well, there was that divorce last year,” he reminded her. “That probably took up some free time.”
“Tell me about it,” she said with a rueful laugh. “The lawyers were very efficient. Most of my time was spent licking my wounds, then looking for a place to settle with Landon. I couldn’t stay in that house and I couldn’t afford it, either.”
“No support?” he asked.
“Are you kidding? I make a little more than Derek, my ex. I have more time in the Coast Guard. And Landon was my responsibility, not his and mine. I never would have accepted support payments, but I would have liked it if Derek had called Landon, acted like there was some loss there, even if it was only a phone call.”
“I want to ask you something about that,” Cooper said. “You know, the divorce and stuff?”
“What stuff?” she said, caressing the arms around her waist.
“That’s over, right? Not just on paper, but in your head?”
She turned slightly to look at him over her shoulder. “Of course it’s over. What are you asking?”
“You’ve been in a real mood lately,” he said, and she turned back, looking down at the river. “Don’t bother denying it, we both know you’re not that great at hiding it. You’re in a real mood, running hot and cold, real distracted. And—”
“Cooper, I’m sorry about that. Just give me a little time, okay?”
“But that’s it—time for what? Is your ex giving you trouble? Pressuring you? Telling you he has regrets? Making you have second thoughts about the divorce? About us?”
“What?” she asked with a laugh, turning again. “Really? Oh, Cooper, I am so over Derek. I thank you for that, by the way. I was not interested in getting involved with a man, but you’re relentless. If there was anything left for Derek, it’s been long gone since the day you first kissed me.”
“Then what is it, Sarah? Is it just me? Do the other pilots and crews notice? You’re not acting like yourself.”
“No one has noticed anything because they’re almost all men and they think women have two behaviors—having a period or not having one.” She smiled at him. “Cooper, it’s a work-related issue that I have to handle on my own. Not only is it confidential, you can’t help with this. I need a few more weeks to figure it out. It’s got to do with my Coast Guard career path. I’ve been lucky, I’ve been on the fast track.”
He tightened his arms around her. “I doubt luck had much to do with it.”
“Gender might have played a role. I don’t mean that they’d throw me promotions for being female, but the boys upstairs might get a little excited to come across a woman who can pull her weight since there aren’t enough of us—know what I’m saying?”
“You’re saying you’ve been offered something....”
“No, Cooper. I’m saying I’ll be at a crossroad soon and I’ll have to be ready to decide if I want to make a change in direction.”
“And you don’t think it would help to talk it out?” he asked.
And how would that sound? she asked herself. She was a woman with no good options—getting out without means of support or staying in and going to the other coast. Leaving her brother behind or wrenching him out of an ideal situation in Oregon. Would opening up to Cooper sound like, “Please offer to marry me and support me?” Would it sound like, “Help me say goodbye, help me to give you up?”
“There will be time for talking it out,” she said. “Right now I have to try to think about the situation without any influence from any quarter. And that’s hard. But it’s what I should do, for now.”
He rubbed a knuckle along her cheek. “No tempting ex, huh?”
She gave a little laugh. “He’s long gone. Rumor has it he’s already found someone to date and cheat on in Alaska.”
* * *
A week later Gina was wiping down counters after the morning rush at the diner, feeling a little better about things. Ashley wasn’t exactly markedly improved after one individual counseling session and one group session, but she seemed slightly better. She loved Simone Ross and said of the group, “It’s nice to know they’re way more screwed up and miserable than I am, and I can’t tell you a single other thing about them. I swore.” And Gina didn’t hear her crying at night as often or for as long.
Ashley’s thinness wore on Gina. Ashley didn’t look starved, but her weight loss was so obvious. She normally had such lovely, delicious curves and over the past few weeks she’d probably lost a good ten pounds. Young girls seemed to relish that pencil-thin figure, but a mother looking at her daughter wasn’t thrilled by it. Ashley had never wanted to be supermodel thin, but her clothes were hanging on her.
“Eve said she’s thinking of breaking up with Landon just long enough to lose five pounds,” Ashley said.
But all Gina wanted was for her little girl to get her appetite back. And Carrie was working just as hard to help achieve that, preparing all of Ashley’s favorite and most desired meals every evening. Ashley was still slim as a straw, but Gina and Carrie had each put on a few pounds on her behalf.
Gina filled the scrub bucket and pulled on her rubber gloves. It was her curse that when she had a lot on her mind, she cleaned. She was just about to get on her hands and knees behind the counter to give the floor a good scouring when the door to the diner opened. She looked up to see a woman come in. In fact, the woman nearly took her breath away, she was so stunning. She had thick raven hair that fell to her shoulders in those soft Hollywood curls, shining blue eyes, ivory skin, pink cheeks and luscious lips. She looked familiar and Gina wondered if she’d seen her in a movie. She wore very expensive clothes as only a woman like herself, who bought discount whenever possible, would know. Designer slacks, shiny pumps with very high heels, a leather blazer with a designer logo on the breast pocket. And her purse was worth at least a week of Gina’s tips—a Dooney & Bourke.
Gina pulled off her gloves and smiled. “Hi,” she said.
“Hi,” the woman said, smiling with straight, white teeth. “I wonder if you know—will the Sheriff’s office across the street be closed all day, since it’s Saturday?”
“No, but since they usually have only one of the deputies in on the weekends, he’s in and out. Do you need the police?”
“No,” she said with a laugh. “I just wanted to see Deputy McCain. I wonder if he’s going to be around today?”
“Well, you might just have stumbled into the right place.” Gina looked at her watch. “He’s working today and in about an hour, he’ll probably be stopping by for his morning coffee. Unless he’s tied up somewhere.”
“That’s good. If you don’t mind, I’ll stick around. See if he comes in.”
“I can call him for you, if you’d like.”
“You know him?”
Gina laughed. “Everyone knows everyone here. Plus, their office being across the street from the diner means we see each other almost every day. I’ll check and make sure he’s coming by this morning.”
“Thanks,” she said, digging into her expensive purse for her cell phone. “I should return a couple of calls while I wait.”
“Perfect. Can I get you a cup of coffee? Anything?”
“Coffee would be great. And how about a slice of that pie?”
“Coming up. I’ll get that for you before I call him.” While the woman went to a booth in the rear of the diner, presumably so that Gina wouldn’t overhear her talking to her good friend George Clooney, Gina served up a cup of coffee and slice of pie. She took it back to the incognito movie star. Since she wasn’t talking on the phone yet, Gina asked, “Can I tell him who’s waiting for him?”
“Well, I wanted to surprise him, but go ahead. Tell him it’s his wife. I’m Cee Jay McCain.” And she flashed that glorious smile.
Gina was frozen. Stunned. The coffee and pie were suspended in midair. “Wife?” she asked weakly. “I thought Mac was divorced.”
“Right. Ex-wife,” she amended. “We’ve been out of touch and I’m looking forward to seeing him.”
Gina put down the pie and coffee. “Let me make that call,” she said, scooting back behind the counter.
Gina’s hands actually trembled as she fished her phone out of her pocket. She had a lot of bizarre and random thoughts as she punched in Mac’s number. I should get my teeth whitened, she thought. Underwire, I need more underwire....
Glancing over, she could see that Cee Jay was chatting and laughing into her phone. Gina turned away so that her back was facing Cee Jay.
“McCain,” he answered.
“Mac, I think you’d better come to the diner if you can. There’s someone here to see you.”
“Gina? You all right?”
She cleared her throat. “Mmm. Yeah, fine. Are you coming?”
“Who’s there?”
“Mac, you’re not driving, are you?”
“Why?”
“I don’t want you to drive up a pole....”
“I’m pulled over. What’s going on?”
“It’s Cee Jay, Mac. She’s here. To see you.”
Dead silence answered her. And it stretched out.
“Mac?” she asked.
“Good thing I was pulled over. Listen, try to keep this quiet. I have to know what she wants and I don’t want the whole town to know before I have a chance to talk to my kids. And to Lou.”
“Not a problem,” Gina said.
“I’m there in five.”
“Sure. Fine. Drive carefully.”
Gina disconnected. She looked down at herself. Cheap black pants that were no longer as black as they had once been, checkered blouse, name tag.... Why did she always wear that stupid name tag? There had been about four people she didn’t know in the diner in the past month. God, the woman was so beautiful. And no wonder she seemed familiar—Eve was a younger version of her mother.
Gina felt a devastation come over her. Grief. After four years of devoted friendship she and Mac had finally become lovers. They tried to be discreet since their sixteen-year-old daughters were best friends, but at long last they could hold hands, embrace, even a chaste kiss was appropriate. Privately, there was more, so much more. Passion so rich, her whole life had been changed by it. They loved each other, they’d said so.
But now? What would he do after seeing Cee Jay? Would everything change? Even if Cee Jay hadn’t come back to reclaim her ex-husband, would Mac take one look at her and fall in love all over again? How could he not?
Gina poured herself a cup of coffee. She wasn’t much of a drinker but she sure wished she had a shot of something to jack up that coffee. Her hands trembled as she lifted the cup to her lips. And while Cee Jay laughed and chatted into the phone, taking petite bites of her apple pie, she appeared so carefree. So animated. How do you leave your three children, not see them for ten years, then stroll back into their lives all happy-go-lucky? How do you do that?
Gina had the sense that the world she knew was changing, and she had no idea what the outcome might be, but she was suddenly afraid.
The Sheriff’s Department SUV rolled down the street, parked in front of the deputy’s office and Mac strode purposefully across the street, hitching up his heavy gun belt as he walked. He came into the diner, gave a nod to Gina, walked right past her and stood at the booth, looking down at his ex-wife.
“Lot’s more than just flowers out here,” she said. “This is beautiful.”
“I’ve never been here. It just looked like an interesting road.”
She sighed deeply. “I stay too busy with work, chores and Landon. I haven’t been exploring enough around here. I’m glad we did this today.”
“Well, there was that divorce last year,” he reminded her. “That probably took up some free time.”
“Tell me about it,” she said with a rueful laugh. “The lawyers were very efficient. Most of my time was spent licking my wounds, then looking for a place to settle with Landon. I couldn’t stay in that house and I couldn’t afford it, either.”
“No support?” he asked.
“Are you kidding? I make a little more than Derek, my ex. I have more time in the Coast Guard. And Landon was my responsibility, not his and mine. I never would have accepted support payments, but I would have liked it if Derek had called Landon, acted like there was some loss there, even if it was only a phone call.”
“I want to ask you something about that,” Cooper said. “You know, the divorce and stuff?”
“What stuff?” she said, caressing the arms around her waist.
“That’s over, right? Not just on paper, but in your head?”
She turned slightly to look at him over her shoulder. “Of course it’s over. What are you asking?”
“You’ve been in a real mood lately,” he said, and she turned back, looking down at the river. “Don’t bother denying it, we both know you’re not that great at hiding it. You’re in a real mood, running hot and cold, real distracted. And—”
“Cooper, I’m sorry about that. Just give me a little time, okay?”
“But that’s it—time for what? Is your ex giving you trouble? Pressuring you? Telling you he has regrets? Making you have second thoughts about the divorce? About us?”
“What?” she asked with a laugh, turning again. “Really? Oh, Cooper, I am so over Derek. I thank you for that, by the way. I was not interested in getting involved with a man, but you’re relentless. If there was anything left for Derek, it’s been long gone since the day you first kissed me.”
“Then what is it, Sarah? Is it just me? Do the other pilots and crews notice? You’re not acting like yourself.”
“No one has noticed anything because they’re almost all men and they think women have two behaviors—having a period or not having one.” She smiled at him. “Cooper, it’s a work-related issue that I have to handle on my own. Not only is it confidential, you can’t help with this. I need a few more weeks to figure it out. It’s got to do with my Coast Guard career path. I’ve been lucky, I’ve been on the fast track.”
He tightened his arms around her. “I doubt luck had much to do with it.”
“Gender might have played a role. I don’t mean that they’d throw me promotions for being female, but the boys upstairs might get a little excited to come across a woman who can pull her weight since there aren’t enough of us—know what I’m saying?”
“You’re saying you’ve been offered something....”
“No, Cooper. I’m saying I’ll be at a crossroad soon and I’ll have to be ready to decide if I want to make a change in direction.”
“And you don’t think it would help to talk it out?” he asked.
And how would that sound? she asked herself. She was a woman with no good options—getting out without means of support or staying in and going to the other coast. Leaving her brother behind or wrenching him out of an ideal situation in Oregon. Would opening up to Cooper sound like, “Please offer to marry me and support me?” Would it sound like, “Help me say goodbye, help me to give you up?”
“There will be time for talking it out,” she said. “Right now I have to try to think about the situation without any influence from any quarter. And that’s hard. But it’s what I should do, for now.”
He rubbed a knuckle along her cheek. “No tempting ex, huh?”
She gave a little laugh. “He’s long gone. Rumor has it he’s already found someone to date and cheat on in Alaska.”
* * *
A week later Gina was wiping down counters after the morning rush at the diner, feeling a little better about things. Ashley wasn’t exactly markedly improved after one individual counseling session and one group session, but she seemed slightly better. She loved Simone Ross and said of the group, “It’s nice to know they’re way more screwed up and miserable than I am, and I can’t tell you a single other thing about them. I swore.” And Gina didn’t hear her crying at night as often or for as long.
Ashley’s thinness wore on Gina. Ashley didn’t look starved, but her weight loss was so obvious. She normally had such lovely, delicious curves and over the past few weeks she’d probably lost a good ten pounds. Young girls seemed to relish that pencil-thin figure, but a mother looking at her daughter wasn’t thrilled by it. Ashley had never wanted to be supermodel thin, but her clothes were hanging on her.
“Eve said she’s thinking of breaking up with Landon just long enough to lose five pounds,” Ashley said.
But all Gina wanted was for her little girl to get her appetite back. And Carrie was working just as hard to help achieve that, preparing all of Ashley’s favorite and most desired meals every evening. Ashley was still slim as a straw, but Gina and Carrie had each put on a few pounds on her behalf.
Gina filled the scrub bucket and pulled on her rubber gloves. It was her curse that when she had a lot on her mind, she cleaned. She was just about to get on her hands and knees behind the counter to give the floor a good scouring when the door to the diner opened. She looked up to see a woman come in. In fact, the woman nearly took her breath away, she was so stunning. She had thick raven hair that fell to her shoulders in those soft Hollywood curls, shining blue eyes, ivory skin, pink cheeks and luscious lips. She looked familiar and Gina wondered if she’d seen her in a movie. She wore very expensive clothes as only a woman like herself, who bought discount whenever possible, would know. Designer slacks, shiny pumps with very high heels, a leather blazer with a designer logo on the breast pocket. And her purse was worth at least a week of Gina’s tips—a Dooney & Bourke.
Gina pulled off her gloves and smiled. “Hi,” she said.
“Hi,” the woman said, smiling with straight, white teeth. “I wonder if you know—will the Sheriff’s office across the street be closed all day, since it’s Saturday?”
“No, but since they usually have only one of the deputies in on the weekends, he’s in and out. Do you need the police?”
“No,” she said with a laugh. “I just wanted to see Deputy McCain. I wonder if he’s going to be around today?”
“Well, you might just have stumbled into the right place.” Gina looked at her watch. “He’s working today and in about an hour, he’ll probably be stopping by for his morning coffee. Unless he’s tied up somewhere.”
“That’s good. If you don’t mind, I’ll stick around. See if he comes in.”
“I can call him for you, if you’d like.”
“You know him?”
Gina laughed. “Everyone knows everyone here. Plus, their office being across the street from the diner means we see each other almost every day. I’ll check and make sure he’s coming by this morning.”
“Thanks,” she said, digging into her expensive purse for her cell phone. “I should return a couple of calls while I wait.”
“Perfect. Can I get you a cup of coffee? Anything?”
“Coffee would be great. And how about a slice of that pie?”
“Coming up. I’ll get that for you before I call him.” While the woman went to a booth in the rear of the diner, presumably so that Gina wouldn’t overhear her talking to her good friend George Clooney, Gina served up a cup of coffee and slice of pie. She took it back to the incognito movie star. Since she wasn’t talking on the phone yet, Gina asked, “Can I tell him who’s waiting for him?”
“Well, I wanted to surprise him, but go ahead. Tell him it’s his wife. I’m Cee Jay McCain.” And she flashed that glorious smile.
Gina was frozen. Stunned. The coffee and pie were suspended in midair. “Wife?” she asked weakly. “I thought Mac was divorced.”
“Right. Ex-wife,” she amended. “We’ve been out of touch and I’m looking forward to seeing him.”
Gina put down the pie and coffee. “Let me make that call,” she said, scooting back behind the counter.
Gina’s hands actually trembled as she fished her phone out of her pocket. She had a lot of bizarre and random thoughts as she punched in Mac’s number. I should get my teeth whitened, she thought. Underwire, I need more underwire....
Glancing over, she could see that Cee Jay was chatting and laughing into her phone. Gina turned away so that her back was facing Cee Jay.
“McCain,” he answered.
“Mac, I think you’d better come to the diner if you can. There’s someone here to see you.”
“Gina? You all right?”
She cleared her throat. “Mmm. Yeah, fine. Are you coming?”
“Who’s there?”
“Mac, you’re not driving, are you?”
“Why?”
“I don’t want you to drive up a pole....”
“I’m pulled over. What’s going on?”
“It’s Cee Jay, Mac. She’s here. To see you.”
Dead silence answered her. And it stretched out.
“Mac?” she asked.
“Good thing I was pulled over. Listen, try to keep this quiet. I have to know what she wants and I don’t want the whole town to know before I have a chance to talk to my kids. And to Lou.”
“Not a problem,” Gina said.
“I’m there in five.”
“Sure. Fine. Drive carefully.”
Gina disconnected. She looked down at herself. Cheap black pants that were no longer as black as they had once been, checkered blouse, name tag.... Why did she always wear that stupid name tag? There had been about four people she didn’t know in the diner in the past month. God, the woman was so beautiful. And no wonder she seemed familiar—Eve was a younger version of her mother.
Gina felt a devastation come over her. Grief. After four years of devoted friendship she and Mac had finally become lovers. They tried to be discreet since their sixteen-year-old daughters were best friends, but at long last they could hold hands, embrace, even a chaste kiss was appropriate. Privately, there was more, so much more. Passion so rich, her whole life had been changed by it. They loved each other, they’d said so.
But now? What would he do after seeing Cee Jay? Would everything change? Even if Cee Jay hadn’t come back to reclaim her ex-husband, would Mac take one look at her and fall in love all over again? How could he not?
Gina poured herself a cup of coffee. She wasn’t much of a drinker but she sure wished she had a shot of something to jack up that coffee. Her hands trembled as she lifted the cup to her lips. And while Cee Jay laughed and chatted into the phone, taking petite bites of her apple pie, she appeared so carefree. So animated. How do you leave your three children, not see them for ten years, then stroll back into their lives all happy-go-lucky? How do you do that?
Gina had the sense that the world she knew was changing, and she had no idea what the outcome might be, but she was suddenly afraid.
The Sheriff’s Department SUV rolled down the street, parked in front of the deputy’s office and Mac strode purposefully across the street, hitching up his heavy gun belt as he walked. He came into the diner, gave a nod to Gina, walked right past her and stood at the booth, looking down at his ex-wife.
