Author: Robyn Carr
“She was married and pregnant,” Spencer said. He shot Cooper a melancholy look. “And said she was happy.”
“She was happy. We were over before she moved on. Bridget was a good woman.”
“You don’t have to sell me on that, you know.”
“I’m going to have to tell my family about Austin. And they’re going to want to meet him at some point.”
“I know. You tell me when and I’ll take him. It’s not that I don’t trust you with him...”
“Listen, let’s be straight about this, about anything that has to do with Austin. I don’t want Austin scared or overwhelmed. I want you to be with him. He’s just a kid for God’s sake. Until he’s ready to visit me or go to my family without you, I want you there with him. I’ll try to work out a time with my family and check it with you. I’ll pay the fare. Maybe after school is out? They’re just over in Albuquerque—not a bad flight for you.”
Spencer chuckled. “You’re something, you know that? You could be a complete asshole about all this.”
“I’ve been a complete asshole here and there, which might be one of the many reasons Bridget broke up with me,” he said, slapping Spencer on the back. “But I’m trying, man. I’m trying. There’s sure nothing in it for me if Austin grows up all screwed up.”
“Let’s hold off on the family visit in Albuquerque,” Spencer said. “First, I think Austin and I should come out to Oregon to visit you. On your turf. Is there a hotel in town?”
Cooper smiled. “Even better. I live on the second floor of my business, but I have an RV and a hook-up on the property. It’s nice. You and Austin can have it for a weekend. You’ll have fun, I can almost guarantee it. It’s a nice little town.” He grinned. “And I have that Jet Ski.”
Right then the boys came running back to the table. “Dad! Dad! We need more quarters!” Austin was flushed and sweaty and smelled gamey, like a happy little boy should.
“I got it,” Cooper said. He reached into his pocket. He pulled out a five-dollar bill. “When you get change, count it and make sure you’ve got the right amount. Got that?”
“Got it!” Austin said. And they turned away.
Austin’s friend, James, said, “Who’s that again?”
“That’s Cooper,” Austin said. “The bio-dad.”
* * *
It wasn’t unusual to see Landon on the beach with Hamlet in the afternoons. After school he was often with other high school kids or Eve, but today he was solo, throwing the ball for Ham all the way across the beach. Seeing Cooper up on the deck he headed over and ran up the stairs with Hamlet on his heels. Ham went straight to Cooper for a little scratch behind the ears. “What’s up, my man?” Cooper asked Landon. “Coke?”
“Yeah, thanks,” Landon said. “I’ll get it.”
A minute later he was sitting next to Cooper in the same relaxed position, feet up on the deck rail, chair leaning back, looking out at the ocean. It was a few minutes before Landon said, “Coop, do you understand women?”
Cooper turned to look at his profile. He grinned. “Not that often.” When Landon didn’t say anything, Cooper asked, “Girl trouble?”
“All over the place,” Landon said. “Maybe not trouble, exactly. More like confusion. Does it seem like Sarah’s in a bad mood these days? And Eve...she’s got all that stuff going on—sometimes she’s just plain pissy. Sometimes she’s crying about nothing or laughing about nothing.”
“Sarah seems okay to me,” Cooper said. “Maybe a little quiet now and then. She said she’s got work stuff going on—stuff that should be resolved soon. I don’t know anything about Eve’s mood.”
“She’s been upset about Ash and Downy—that went down badly. It freaked Eve out—she was afraid we’d get all serious and then I’d do something that nasty to her. Then Eve’s mom showed up after ten years and that had her all upside down. And I think Sarah’s been weird lately.”
“Landon, you gotta be patient, man. There are cosmic forces that have nothing to do with me and you. Like PMS. Ever think of that?”
Landon winced. “I try not to think about things like that.”
“I don’t blame you, buddy. And for God’s sake, never ask! That’s the kiss of death.” He took a sip of his coffee. “I think Sarah was a little worried about my trip to Texas. I think she doesn’t know what to make of this situation I’m in—all of a sudden I’m a father. I just try to reassure her—it doesn’t change anything between us. It’s gotta be a shock, though, huh? So if she’s moody, it’s probably because I threw her a curve....”
“You think she’s jealous or something?”
“Nah. I think she was worried enough about taking me on, now she thinks she has to take me and a kid on. It’s not really like that, though. Austin wants to live with his dad, Spencer. He feels safe there. I’ll just visit from time to time and they’ll visit here. You don’t show up in a kid’s life when he’s ten years old and take over. I mean, if he was in trouble I would. But he’s not in trouble. Spencer is a good guy.”
“How’d you end up with a kid?”
He shrugged. “Who knows? Since we were specifically trying not to have one, something obviously went wrong. But when you see that kid it makes you think maybe something went right....”
Landon shuddered. It was unmistakable.
Cooper pulled his feet off the rail and turned in his chair. “You want to talk about something?”
“No,” Landon said, but he didn’t make eye contact. “Did you have a girlfriend when you were in high school?”
“Not exactly,” Cooper said.
“What does that mean?”
“Well, like every kid that age, I was in love just about all the time. I lusted after a lot of girls who didn’t appear to lust after me. I had some dates. Most of them were first dates. I think there were a couple of girls I dated a few times.”
“So, when did you first, you know...”
“What, Landon? When did I get laid? Do we need to talk about the birds and the bees?”
Landon finally looked at him. “You trying to piss me off? No wonder Sarah’s cranky.”
“I was older than I wanted to be. I don’t know. Maybe seventeen, but probably eighteen. I didn’t have a girlfriend I’d been with for six months, that’s for sure. Now, what’s going on with you and Eve? We got problems?”
He shook his head. “It’s just that... Well, I don’t want to lose her. She’s really special. Perfect. I could never want a better girl. But I don’t want to... You know about her mom and dad, right? How they had to get married because Eve was on the way? And they were just kids? Eve’s mom was younger than Eve is now. Holy shit is all I have to say about that!”
“Guys don’t usually talk about things like that, but I’m capable of math,” Cooper said. “You and Eve getting a little too serious?”
“Not yet,” he said, and Cooper couldn’t tell if it was remorse, disappointment or fear behind those words.
Cooper leaned back and put his feet up on the rail again. “Okay, here’s what I have to say about that. You can probably save yourself a lot of heartache by being real careful, by which I mean lots of protection. But hear this from Papa Cooper—there don’t seem to be any real guarantees. Any time you want to talk about it...”
“Did you ever feel, you know, like you really loved someone?” he asked.
Cooper smiled at him and he hoped he smiled gently. “I feel that way right now,” he said. “I’ve felt that way before, as a matter of fact—times it didn’t really work out. And now I’m kind of glad it didn’t. I don’t mind telling you, Sarah’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me and I waited a long time to find her.” He clapped a hand on Landon’s shoulder. “It’s okay to feel like you love Eve. Nothing wrong with love, Landon. Some people find it young, some people have to wait awhile. But what you have to guard against is letting a little love make you a lot careless.”
“You can’t tell Mac about this conversation,” Landon said.
“I wouldn’t do that,” Cooper said.
“Or Sarah.”
“Or Sarah,” he repeated. “Now here’s what you do, son. You’re both, what? Sixteen?”
“We’re both seventeen this summer. Eve’s seventeen in July.”
“Right. You’re looking at your senior year and right around the corner will be college. Yep. Here’s what you do—you make sure you’re protected. Safe. Both of you. Just in case, you know, you get a little crazy. I’m assuming you have—”
“I’m good....”
“Well, that’s one of you,” Cooper said thoughtfully. They met eyes for a long moment.
Then Landon turned his chair back toward the ocean. They both put their feet up again. And Landon said, “So. How about those Yankees?”
Cooper laughed. “You know what, Landon, old man? I think you need an after-school job. And a summer job. Keep you out of trouble while Sarah’s working.”
“That’s a good idea. You pay anything?”
“We’ll negotiate if we have to,” he said.
* * *
The Oregon Dispatch was a regional newspaper that came out once a week and covered news from the many small towns in Coos County. There were also coupons for local businesses and groceries—a dying tradition as people could download many of these coupons from their computers. But when there was exciting local news or big events, the Dispatch was always there. And this week there was a news story from Oregon State University and Thunder Point. It was rumored that Crawford Downy was going to be a first round major league draft pick. A freshman! A couple of scouts had admitted he was a hot property and if he continued to play as well as he had been, he’d be in the majors in no time at all.
Yes, this was the boy who was one of the favorite sons of the town. Perhaps the favorite of all. A brilliant athlete.
It was all the talk at the high school and so Ashley couldn’t escape the news. Then she saw the article. There was a picture, of course. Smiling, broad-shouldered Downy with his mitt in his hand, his sandy blond hair lifted by the wind.
Also in the picture was a female shoulder and arm. He had his arm around a girl who was apparently cropped out of the picture.
Was it the same girl? Or a new one?
If he was going to be a pro athlete, Ashley imagined he could have a new girl every week. It depressed her, but she was now completely unsurprised. This guy did not feel like the Downy she had known. She hadn’t thought of her Downy as shallow or ego-driven, though he did love the attention in sports. He had been sweet and loyal. No longer, she thought. She threw the paper in the trash.
She went home after school, changed into a pair of shorts and walked down to the beach. Spring was a little lazy finding the northern coast, but the weather was getting so nice. The hillside on what Ben had called his bird sanctuary was covered with blossoms and the green of the trees and bushes was brightening. The sun was out almost every day and the water on the bay was as blue as the sky. People had been paddleboarding a lot lately.
Ashley sat on the sand, knees raised and her arms around them. How many summers had she spent on this beach? How many nights with Downy, partying, making out? She had predicted he’d lose interest in her when he went away to college, but he had said, “Where am I ever gonna find a girl prettier than you? Or sweeter? Come on!”
She thought that was going to be the truth, that he was committed. But now as she looked back, during fall and winter he was just some lame freshman, some second string football player who never got to play. He was a pledge, a plebe.
“She was married and pregnant,” Spencer said. He shot Cooper a melancholy look. “And said she was happy.”
“She was happy. We were over before she moved on. Bridget was a good woman.”
“You don’t have to sell me on that, you know.”
“I’m going to have to tell my family about Austin. And they’re going to want to meet him at some point.”
“I know. You tell me when and I’ll take him. It’s not that I don’t trust you with him...”
“Listen, let’s be straight about this, about anything that has to do with Austin. I don’t want Austin scared or overwhelmed. I want you to be with him. He’s just a kid for God’s sake. Until he’s ready to visit me or go to my family without you, I want you there with him. I’ll try to work out a time with my family and check it with you. I’ll pay the fare. Maybe after school is out? They’re just over in Albuquerque—not a bad flight for you.”
Spencer chuckled. “You’re something, you know that? You could be a complete asshole about all this.”
“I’ve been a complete asshole here and there, which might be one of the many reasons Bridget broke up with me,” he said, slapping Spencer on the back. “But I’m trying, man. I’m trying. There’s sure nothing in it for me if Austin grows up all screwed up.”
“Let’s hold off on the family visit in Albuquerque,” Spencer said. “First, I think Austin and I should come out to Oregon to visit you. On your turf. Is there a hotel in town?”
Cooper smiled. “Even better. I live on the second floor of my business, but I have an RV and a hook-up on the property. It’s nice. You and Austin can have it for a weekend. You’ll have fun, I can almost guarantee it. It’s a nice little town.” He grinned. “And I have that Jet Ski.”
Right then the boys came running back to the table. “Dad! Dad! We need more quarters!” Austin was flushed and sweaty and smelled gamey, like a happy little boy should.
“I got it,” Cooper said. He reached into his pocket. He pulled out a five-dollar bill. “When you get change, count it and make sure you’ve got the right amount. Got that?”
“Got it!” Austin said. And they turned away.
Austin’s friend, James, said, “Who’s that again?”
“That’s Cooper,” Austin said. “The bio-dad.”
* * *
It wasn’t unusual to see Landon on the beach with Hamlet in the afternoons. After school he was often with other high school kids or Eve, but today he was solo, throwing the ball for Ham all the way across the beach. Seeing Cooper up on the deck he headed over and ran up the stairs with Hamlet on his heels. Ham went straight to Cooper for a little scratch behind the ears. “What’s up, my man?” Cooper asked Landon. “Coke?”
“Yeah, thanks,” Landon said. “I’ll get it.”
A minute later he was sitting next to Cooper in the same relaxed position, feet up on the deck rail, chair leaning back, looking out at the ocean. It was a few minutes before Landon said, “Coop, do you understand women?”
Cooper turned to look at his profile. He grinned. “Not that often.” When Landon didn’t say anything, Cooper asked, “Girl trouble?”
“All over the place,” Landon said. “Maybe not trouble, exactly. More like confusion. Does it seem like Sarah’s in a bad mood these days? And Eve...she’s got all that stuff going on—sometimes she’s just plain pissy. Sometimes she’s crying about nothing or laughing about nothing.”
“Sarah seems okay to me,” Cooper said. “Maybe a little quiet now and then. She said she’s got work stuff going on—stuff that should be resolved soon. I don’t know anything about Eve’s mood.”
“She’s been upset about Ash and Downy—that went down badly. It freaked Eve out—she was afraid we’d get all serious and then I’d do something that nasty to her. Then Eve’s mom showed up after ten years and that had her all upside down. And I think Sarah’s been weird lately.”
“Landon, you gotta be patient, man. There are cosmic forces that have nothing to do with me and you. Like PMS. Ever think of that?”
Landon winced. “I try not to think about things like that.”
“I don’t blame you, buddy. And for God’s sake, never ask! That’s the kiss of death.” He took a sip of his coffee. “I think Sarah was a little worried about my trip to Texas. I think she doesn’t know what to make of this situation I’m in—all of a sudden I’m a father. I just try to reassure her—it doesn’t change anything between us. It’s gotta be a shock, though, huh? So if she’s moody, it’s probably because I threw her a curve....”
“You think she’s jealous or something?”
“Nah. I think she was worried enough about taking me on, now she thinks she has to take me and a kid on. It’s not really like that, though. Austin wants to live with his dad, Spencer. He feels safe there. I’ll just visit from time to time and they’ll visit here. You don’t show up in a kid’s life when he’s ten years old and take over. I mean, if he was in trouble I would. But he’s not in trouble. Spencer is a good guy.”
“How’d you end up with a kid?”
He shrugged. “Who knows? Since we were specifically trying not to have one, something obviously went wrong. But when you see that kid it makes you think maybe something went right....”
Landon shuddered. It was unmistakable.
Cooper pulled his feet off the rail and turned in his chair. “You want to talk about something?”
“No,” Landon said, but he didn’t make eye contact. “Did you have a girlfriend when you were in high school?”
“Not exactly,” Cooper said.
“What does that mean?”
“Well, like every kid that age, I was in love just about all the time. I lusted after a lot of girls who didn’t appear to lust after me. I had some dates. Most of them were first dates. I think there were a couple of girls I dated a few times.”
“So, when did you first, you know...”
“What, Landon? When did I get laid? Do we need to talk about the birds and the bees?”
Landon finally looked at him. “You trying to piss me off? No wonder Sarah’s cranky.”
“I was older than I wanted to be. I don’t know. Maybe seventeen, but probably eighteen. I didn’t have a girlfriend I’d been with for six months, that’s for sure. Now, what’s going on with you and Eve? We got problems?”
He shook his head. “It’s just that... Well, I don’t want to lose her. She’s really special. Perfect. I could never want a better girl. But I don’t want to... You know about her mom and dad, right? How they had to get married because Eve was on the way? And they were just kids? Eve’s mom was younger than Eve is now. Holy shit is all I have to say about that!”
“Guys don’t usually talk about things like that, but I’m capable of math,” Cooper said. “You and Eve getting a little too serious?”
“Not yet,” he said, and Cooper couldn’t tell if it was remorse, disappointment or fear behind those words.
Cooper leaned back and put his feet up on the rail again. “Okay, here’s what I have to say about that. You can probably save yourself a lot of heartache by being real careful, by which I mean lots of protection. But hear this from Papa Cooper—there don’t seem to be any real guarantees. Any time you want to talk about it...”
“Did you ever feel, you know, like you really loved someone?” he asked.
Cooper smiled at him and he hoped he smiled gently. “I feel that way right now,” he said. “I’ve felt that way before, as a matter of fact—times it didn’t really work out. And now I’m kind of glad it didn’t. I don’t mind telling you, Sarah’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me and I waited a long time to find her.” He clapped a hand on Landon’s shoulder. “It’s okay to feel like you love Eve. Nothing wrong with love, Landon. Some people find it young, some people have to wait awhile. But what you have to guard against is letting a little love make you a lot careless.”
“You can’t tell Mac about this conversation,” Landon said.
“I wouldn’t do that,” Cooper said.
“Or Sarah.”
“Or Sarah,” he repeated. “Now here’s what you do, son. You’re both, what? Sixteen?”
“We’re both seventeen this summer. Eve’s seventeen in July.”
“Right. You’re looking at your senior year and right around the corner will be college. Yep. Here’s what you do—you make sure you’re protected. Safe. Both of you. Just in case, you know, you get a little crazy. I’m assuming you have—”
“I’m good....”
“Well, that’s one of you,” Cooper said thoughtfully. They met eyes for a long moment.
Then Landon turned his chair back toward the ocean. They both put their feet up again. And Landon said, “So. How about those Yankees?”
Cooper laughed. “You know what, Landon, old man? I think you need an after-school job. And a summer job. Keep you out of trouble while Sarah’s working.”
“That’s a good idea. You pay anything?”
“We’ll negotiate if we have to,” he said.
* * *
The Oregon Dispatch was a regional newspaper that came out once a week and covered news from the many small towns in Coos County. There were also coupons for local businesses and groceries—a dying tradition as people could download many of these coupons from their computers. But when there was exciting local news or big events, the Dispatch was always there. And this week there was a news story from Oregon State University and Thunder Point. It was rumored that Crawford Downy was going to be a first round major league draft pick. A freshman! A couple of scouts had admitted he was a hot property and if he continued to play as well as he had been, he’d be in the majors in no time at all.
Yes, this was the boy who was one of the favorite sons of the town. Perhaps the favorite of all. A brilliant athlete.
It was all the talk at the high school and so Ashley couldn’t escape the news. Then she saw the article. There was a picture, of course. Smiling, broad-shouldered Downy with his mitt in his hand, his sandy blond hair lifted by the wind.
Also in the picture was a female shoulder and arm. He had his arm around a girl who was apparently cropped out of the picture.
Was it the same girl? Or a new one?
If he was going to be a pro athlete, Ashley imagined he could have a new girl every week. It depressed her, but she was now completely unsurprised. This guy did not feel like the Downy she had known. She hadn’t thought of her Downy as shallow or ego-driven, though he did love the attention in sports. He had been sweet and loyal. No longer, she thought. She threw the paper in the trash.
She went home after school, changed into a pair of shorts and walked down to the beach. Spring was a little lazy finding the northern coast, but the weather was getting so nice. The hillside on what Ben had called his bird sanctuary was covered with blossoms and the green of the trees and bushes was brightening. The sun was out almost every day and the water on the bay was as blue as the sky. People had been paddleboarding a lot lately.
Ashley sat on the sand, knees raised and her arms around them. How many summers had she spent on this beach? How many nights with Downy, partying, making out? She had predicted he’d lose interest in her when he went away to college, but he had said, “Where am I ever gonna find a girl prettier than you? Or sweeter? Come on!”
She thought that was going to be the truth, that he was committed. But now as she looked back, during fall and winter he was just some lame freshman, some second string football player who never got to play. He was a pledge, a plebe.
