Author: Robyn Carr
Then came baseball and Downy had an atomic arm. He not only started every game, but he also caught everything, hit anything and ran like the wind. They used him as starting pitcher and tried him on first base, as well. His batting average was solid; he had a college and alumni following. He was going to take them all the way to a championship. A freshman!
Downy was hot shit. And he probably had his pick of girls. And that was all it took.
“Ashley?”
She looked up to see Frank standing nearby. Oh, poor timing, Frank! She blinked away some tears that were close to falling. She had just been mourning Downy’s absence.
“Hi,” she said, hearing the sadness in her own voice.
Frank sat on the sand, facing her. “You see that article today?”
“I couldn’t miss it. It’s got Downy’s fan club pretty excited.”
Frank shook his head. “It got me thinking about something. I bet you counted on Downy taking you to the prom this year.”
She laughed. “I promise you, I got over that idea a while ago.”
“Well, I know. But I’m not taking anyone. I’d love to take you.”
She was speechless. She thought it possible he had a crush on her, but even so, what a sweet thing to do! “Are you sweeping up after Downy, Frank?”
“Oh, hell no,” he said with a bitter laugh. “I think he’s an idiot. He’s an idiot getting ready to be a bigger idiot!”
She frowned.
“Do you know if he’s a high draft pick, he’ll drop out of college to take it? Like he’s invincible and doesn’t need an education or a career other than baseball.”
She sat up a little straighter. “Seriously? What do your parents say about that?”
“They’re being idiots about it, too. But they don’t really appreciate the value of education—neither of them went to college and they’re pretty satisfied with things. Dad says the union did more for him than an education ever would.” He shook his head. “They think Downy’s going to make millions and build them a big house on the ocean. Crazy.”
She laughed lightly. “Where did you come from?” she asked, shaking her head.
“The cabbage patch, I think. Doesn’t Downy get that that his whole life is only as good as his rotator cuff or his elbow if he goes with baseball?”
“You know what, Frank? He was born to take that on. Athletics has always been the most important thing to Downy. Any sport. He lives that way—it’s his life. Being a star athlete—that was more important to Downy than anything else. And you? Learning is most important to you. I think you’re both going to do well in life, that’s what I think.”
“I hope you’re right.”
“I bet you already have scholarship offers,” she said. “Just based on your SATs.”
He shrugged.
She laughed. “I knew it! Well, I guess there’s a lot more to the Downy family than people know. Your folks might not have big flashy degrees, but they have some talented kids.”
“Sure. Thanks. Back to the prom...”
She reached out and touched his arm. “You know what, buddy? If I didn’t have a lot of crap to deal with, I would totally accept that invitation. And it isn’t just about Downy being your brother, either. It’s just that this year, even though I was really looking forward to it, I’m not going. With anyone. Justin Bieber could ask me and I’d say no thanks.”
“What good is it going to do to skip it just because my brother acted like such a jerk?”
“It’s not about him anymore, Frank. It’s about me. I was so into Downy, it was almost like he absorbed me or something. It seemed so cool to have this popular senior like me, promise to love me forever.... Then when he left me, I couldn’t find myself again. I was so broken. Now my work is to figure out who I am. I want to go back to who I was—I want to be that strong girl again.”
“You’ve always seemed strong to me,” he said.
“I was, back before Downy decided I was the anointed one. Then having him became more important to me than anything else. I didn’t realize it at all, not until he was gone and all I could feel was so empty and lost I couldn’t get out of bed. Did you know I spent a week in the hospital?”
“I think everyone knows that, Ash.”
“Do you know why?”
He tilted his head. “Depression?”
“Yeah. Depression and feeling like I didn’t want to live. It scared my mom so much, she called the counselor. And while I was in the hospital I met a girl who had the same issues and she tried to fix her boy problems with a razor blade.” She shook her head and shuddered. “You just can’t mess around with those kind of thoughts, Frank. I’m never losing myself like that again. I had wanted to go to the prom. But I’m not letting a fancy dress or a popular boyfriend be more important to me than living. For God’s sake!”
He gave her a wan smile.
“Now why would you smile at that?”
He reached for her hand. “I guess because you know what you need now. You’re going to be all right.”
“I’m still struggling,” she said. “I felt so left out that I couldn’t celebrate the draft rumor with him. I would have encouraged him to stay in school, but still...”
“He’s such a fucking idiot,” Frank muttered.
“I don’t want you to hate your brother because of me,” she said.
“Look, Downy took good care of me when I couldn’t take care of myself. When I was skinny little kid who’d rather read than play soccer or sandlot ball. I’ll always owe him for that. I’m not going to feud with him over this, but I have my own opinions. He’s not my hero at the moment.”
“I still cry,” she whispered, as if it was a secret.
“Yeah? Me, too.”
Her eyes grew large with the question.
“I had a dog. The only thing in my family that was really mine. I lived in a house full of jocks and I was the runt. I couldn’t see to get out of bed without my glasses, but Dodger loved me. He died last fall. He was fourteen—long for a Golden, actually. He’s better off—he’d started dragging his hind quarters and I helped him outside to go to the bathroom. No life for a rabbit-chasing, happy, fun-loving dog. But if I think about him, I can still cry. I think loving someone and losing them can leave a hole in your heart. For a while, anyway.” He pulled her hand into his and rubbed his thumb over the back. “But scars are much tougher than virgin skin. Right?”
Another thing Ashley hadn’t thought about at all—the Downys’ dog had died. It never occurred to her that he was Frank’s dog. That Frank was grieving.
“You should get another dog,” she said.
“You should get a better boyfriend. One with an IQ higher than a turnip.”
“Not yet.” She laughed. “I think maybe some good came out of this mess.”
“Yeah?”
“Well, I feel closer to you. You’ve been so nice.”
He looked down briefly. Shyly.
“Listen, could you please not tell about the hospital? I think my reputation as a lunatic is going to be hard enough to get over.”
“I would never tell anything you tell me,” he said.
They talked for an hour, off the subject of proms and Downy, and on to what colleges they were interested in, what they’d like to do for careers, where they’d most like to live. Frank wasn’t sure what he would study, only that it would have a lot to do with math, and his dream career would be as an inventor. He had questions for her about her goals, none of which she could answer. She had always wanted to follow Downy to college and she hadn’t thought she would ever leave Thunder Point. She had no real career ideas besides being a wife and mother. Things with Downy had changed all that.
* * *
Gina had been helping in her mother’s deli for a good twenty years. Carrie did all the baking and experimenting with new recipes, but Gina could slap together deli sandwiches in record time. If she had time after leaving the diner, Gina would go across the street and give her mother a couple of hours and when Carrie had a party or wedding to cater, it was usually Gina—and sometimes Ashley, as well—to help her serve and clean up after the event. It was rare that neither of them were available, but on those occasions Carrie had a few friends who didn’t mind making a little extra money.
Carrie’s business had grown lately, which kept Gina busier than usual. People were already ordering graduation cakes. Cooper had made a contract with Carrie for her wrapped and premade deli items for his bar and, with the weather warming up, summer coming and more people on the beach, especially on weekends, he was doing a bigger business—and more food was needed. While Ben, the previous owner, had been happy with simple sandwiches, Cooper encouraged her to try out some new things. She came up with some turkey, ham and salami wraps dressed with spinach leaves and sweet mustard, crab cakes that Cooper could just warm up, shrimp salads, big tomatoes stuffed with shrimp or crab salad, and her special pizzas all made up and ready to pop in the oven for twenty minutes. She had sausage rolls, crab rolls, Caesar salads, fruit plates. All these things could be made ahead and they lasted for three days. Cooper was thrilled and bragged to his friends constantly about the awesome food he served.
Carrie entered the diner in the midafternoon, right before Gina was finished for the day. She was holding her battered notebook, which usually meant she wanted to brainstorm menu ideas with Gina. Carrie had a few events coming up—a wedding, a baby shower, an anniversary party and the grand opening of the new clinic across the street.
“Coffee, Mom?” she asked.
“Please. I’m trying to come up with some new ideas for the same old chicken reception dinner and want your opinion.”
“Just chicken, huh?”
“If they’d spend another fifty cents per plate it could be chicken and salmon, but like most young couples, they want to keep the price down. I can actually save them money with this chicken stroganoff recipe.”
“I love that,” Gina said, mouth watering.
“I can get by with a little less meat....”
The door to the diner opened and in walked Marjorie Downy. She was the client who was throwing herself a twentieth anniversary party. Thunder Point people seldom went all out like this, hiring a caterer. But Marjorie was quite proud of this anniversary and Gina had heard she was planning on renewing her vows with her husband.
“Hello, Marjorie,” Gina said.
“Well, hello,” Carrie added.
But Marjorie glided forward with a look on her face as though she might have a problem. “I guess it’s best that I caught both of you together, though I tried the deli first. I was going to just take this up with you, Carrie.”
Carrie closed her notebook. “We can walk across the street, if you like.”
“No, no. This actually concerns Gina, as well.” She took a deep breath. “Party time is coming up. I know you rely on Gina and Ashley to help cater events, but I think this time it might not be the best idea. Crawford is coming home for the party.”
Gina was flabbergasted. “Marjorie, you can’t possibly think I’d let Ashley serve at your party when her ex-boyfriend will be there! This has been hard enough on her!”
“Oh, my,” she said, hand to her breast. “I should have known you’d understand, Gina.” Marjorie wasn’t a particularly pretty woman; she was very plain and would be more attractive without so much makeup, and with a more flattering haircut and color. She was hooked on perms and her hair tended to frizz. Her natural color had been dark but with the onset of some gray, she took to yellow streaks. Not blond. Yellow. It appeared striped and the girls in town joked that she was the bride of Frankenstein.
Then came baseball and Downy had an atomic arm. He not only started every game, but he also caught everything, hit anything and ran like the wind. They used him as starting pitcher and tried him on first base, as well. His batting average was solid; he had a college and alumni following. He was going to take them all the way to a championship. A freshman!
Downy was hot shit. And he probably had his pick of girls. And that was all it took.
“Ashley?”
She looked up to see Frank standing nearby. Oh, poor timing, Frank! She blinked away some tears that were close to falling. She had just been mourning Downy’s absence.
“Hi,” she said, hearing the sadness in her own voice.
Frank sat on the sand, facing her. “You see that article today?”
“I couldn’t miss it. It’s got Downy’s fan club pretty excited.”
Frank shook his head. “It got me thinking about something. I bet you counted on Downy taking you to the prom this year.”
She laughed. “I promise you, I got over that idea a while ago.”
“Well, I know. But I’m not taking anyone. I’d love to take you.”
She was speechless. She thought it possible he had a crush on her, but even so, what a sweet thing to do! “Are you sweeping up after Downy, Frank?”
“Oh, hell no,” he said with a bitter laugh. “I think he’s an idiot. He’s an idiot getting ready to be a bigger idiot!”
She frowned.
“Do you know if he’s a high draft pick, he’ll drop out of college to take it? Like he’s invincible and doesn’t need an education or a career other than baseball.”
She sat up a little straighter. “Seriously? What do your parents say about that?”
“They’re being idiots about it, too. But they don’t really appreciate the value of education—neither of them went to college and they’re pretty satisfied with things. Dad says the union did more for him than an education ever would.” He shook his head. “They think Downy’s going to make millions and build them a big house on the ocean. Crazy.”
She laughed lightly. “Where did you come from?” she asked, shaking her head.
“The cabbage patch, I think. Doesn’t Downy get that that his whole life is only as good as his rotator cuff or his elbow if he goes with baseball?”
“You know what, Frank? He was born to take that on. Athletics has always been the most important thing to Downy. Any sport. He lives that way—it’s his life. Being a star athlete—that was more important to Downy than anything else. And you? Learning is most important to you. I think you’re both going to do well in life, that’s what I think.”
“I hope you’re right.”
“I bet you already have scholarship offers,” she said. “Just based on your SATs.”
He shrugged.
She laughed. “I knew it! Well, I guess there’s a lot more to the Downy family than people know. Your folks might not have big flashy degrees, but they have some talented kids.”
“Sure. Thanks. Back to the prom...”
She reached out and touched his arm. “You know what, buddy? If I didn’t have a lot of crap to deal with, I would totally accept that invitation. And it isn’t just about Downy being your brother, either. It’s just that this year, even though I was really looking forward to it, I’m not going. With anyone. Justin Bieber could ask me and I’d say no thanks.”
“What good is it going to do to skip it just because my brother acted like such a jerk?”
“It’s not about him anymore, Frank. It’s about me. I was so into Downy, it was almost like he absorbed me or something. It seemed so cool to have this popular senior like me, promise to love me forever.... Then when he left me, I couldn’t find myself again. I was so broken. Now my work is to figure out who I am. I want to go back to who I was—I want to be that strong girl again.”
“You’ve always seemed strong to me,” he said.
“I was, back before Downy decided I was the anointed one. Then having him became more important to me than anything else. I didn’t realize it at all, not until he was gone and all I could feel was so empty and lost I couldn’t get out of bed. Did you know I spent a week in the hospital?”
“I think everyone knows that, Ash.”
“Do you know why?”
He tilted his head. “Depression?”
“Yeah. Depression and feeling like I didn’t want to live. It scared my mom so much, she called the counselor. And while I was in the hospital I met a girl who had the same issues and she tried to fix her boy problems with a razor blade.” She shook her head and shuddered. “You just can’t mess around with those kind of thoughts, Frank. I’m never losing myself like that again. I had wanted to go to the prom. But I’m not letting a fancy dress or a popular boyfriend be more important to me than living. For God’s sake!”
He gave her a wan smile.
“Now why would you smile at that?”
He reached for her hand. “I guess because you know what you need now. You’re going to be all right.”
“I’m still struggling,” she said. “I felt so left out that I couldn’t celebrate the draft rumor with him. I would have encouraged him to stay in school, but still...”
“He’s such a fucking idiot,” Frank muttered.
“I don’t want you to hate your brother because of me,” she said.
“Look, Downy took good care of me when I couldn’t take care of myself. When I was skinny little kid who’d rather read than play soccer or sandlot ball. I’ll always owe him for that. I’m not going to feud with him over this, but I have my own opinions. He’s not my hero at the moment.”
“I still cry,” she whispered, as if it was a secret.
“Yeah? Me, too.”
Her eyes grew large with the question.
“I had a dog. The only thing in my family that was really mine. I lived in a house full of jocks and I was the runt. I couldn’t see to get out of bed without my glasses, but Dodger loved me. He died last fall. He was fourteen—long for a Golden, actually. He’s better off—he’d started dragging his hind quarters and I helped him outside to go to the bathroom. No life for a rabbit-chasing, happy, fun-loving dog. But if I think about him, I can still cry. I think loving someone and losing them can leave a hole in your heart. For a while, anyway.” He pulled her hand into his and rubbed his thumb over the back. “But scars are much tougher than virgin skin. Right?”
Another thing Ashley hadn’t thought about at all—the Downys’ dog had died. It never occurred to her that he was Frank’s dog. That Frank was grieving.
“You should get another dog,” she said.
“You should get a better boyfriend. One with an IQ higher than a turnip.”
“Not yet.” She laughed. “I think maybe some good came out of this mess.”
“Yeah?”
“Well, I feel closer to you. You’ve been so nice.”
He looked down briefly. Shyly.
“Listen, could you please not tell about the hospital? I think my reputation as a lunatic is going to be hard enough to get over.”
“I would never tell anything you tell me,” he said.
They talked for an hour, off the subject of proms and Downy, and on to what colleges they were interested in, what they’d like to do for careers, where they’d most like to live. Frank wasn’t sure what he would study, only that it would have a lot to do with math, and his dream career would be as an inventor. He had questions for her about her goals, none of which she could answer. She had always wanted to follow Downy to college and she hadn’t thought she would ever leave Thunder Point. She had no real career ideas besides being a wife and mother. Things with Downy had changed all that.
* * *
Gina had been helping in her mother’s deli for a good twenty years. Carrie did all the baking and experimenting with new recipes, but Gina could slap together deli sandwiches in record time. If she had time after leaving the diner, Gina would go across the street and give her mother a couple of hours and when Carrie had a party or wedding to cater, it was usually Gina—and sometimes Ashley, as well—to help her serve and clean up after the event. It was rare that neither of them were available, but on those occasions Carrie had a few friends who didn’t mind making a little extra money.
Carrie’s business had grown lately, which kept Gina busier than usual. People were already ordering graduation cakes. Cooper had made a contract with Carrie for her wrapped and premade deli items for his bar and, with the weather warming up, summer coming and more people on the beach, especially on weekends, he was doing a bigger business—and more food was needed. While Ben, the previous owner, had been happy with simple sandwiches, Cooper encouraged her to try out some new things. She came up with some turkey, ham and salami wraps dressed with spinach leaves and sweet mustard, crab cakes that Cooper could just warm up, shrimp salads, big tomatoes stuffed with shrimp or crab salad, and her special pizzas all made up and ready to pop in the oven for twenty minutes. She had sausage rolls, crab rolls, Caesar salads, fruit plates. All these things could be made ahead and they lasted for three days. Cooper was thrilled and bragged to his friends constantly about the awesome food he served.
Carrie entered the diner in the midafternoon, right before Gina was finished for the day. She was holding her battered notebook, which usually meant she wanted to brainstorm menu ideas with Gina. Carrie had a few events coming up—a wedding, a baby shower, an anniversary party and the grand opening of the new clinic across the street.
“Coffee, Mom?” she asked.
“Please. I’m trying to come up with some new ideas for the same old chicken reception dinner and want your opinion.”
“Just chicken, huh?”
“If they’d spend another fifty cents per plate it could be chicken and salmon, but like most young couples, they want to keep the price down. I can actually save them money with this chicken stroganoff recipe.”
“I love that,” Gina said, mouth watering.
“I can get by with a little less meat....”
The door to the diner opened and in walked Marjorie Downy. She was the client who was throwing herself a twentieth anniversary party. Thunder Point people seldom went all out like this, hiring a caterer. But Marjorie was quite proud of this anniversary and Gina had heard she was planning on renewing her vows with her husband.
“Hello, Marjorie,” Gina said.
“Well, hello,” Carrie added.
But Marjorie glided forward with a look on her face as though she might have a problem. “I guess it’s best that I caught both of you together, though I tried the deli first. I was going to just take this up with you, Carrie.”
Carrie closed her notebook. “We can walk across the street, if you like.”
“No, no. This actually concerns Gina, as well.” She took a deep breath. “Party time is coming up. I know you rely on Gina and Ashley to help cater events, but I think this time it might not be the best idea. Crawford is coming home for the party.”
Gina was flabbergasted. “Marjorie, you can’t possibly think I’d let Ashley serve at your party when her ex-boyfriend will be there! This has been hard enough on her!”
“Oh, my,” she said, hand to her breast. “I should have known you’d understand, Gina.” Marjorie wasn’t a particularly pretty woman; she was very plain and would be more attractive without so much makeup, and with a more flattering haircut and color. She was hooked on perms and her hair tended to frizz. Her natural color had been dark but with the onset of some gray, she took to yellow streaks. Not blond. Yellow. It appeared striped and the girls in town joked that she was the bride of Frankenstein.
