Author: Robyn Carr
“And fourth,” he said, standing. “I’ll pay for your coffee, and this is for the last time. Good luck, Cee Jay.”
She just looked at him with weary eyes and a sarcastically twisted mouth. He noticed that she’d tried to cover up the dark circles under her eyes, but the makeup had failed.
“Listen, let me say something. As hard as the last fifteen years have been, I have to thank you. For giving me my family, I mean. They’re great kids and they’re the life in me. I’m sorry things have been so awful for you. My life has been spare—no fancy houses or cars. But it’s been perfect in every way. I can’t think of a person on earth I’d trade places with.”
“Good for you,” she said tiredly, resting her head in her hand.
He didn’t leave money on the table. He wasn’t sure how bad off she was. She might grab a ten-dollar bill and race to a craps table and try to turn it into a hundred, which she’d then try to turn into a thousand, which would turn into nothing in no time. He went to find his waitress. “I’m leaving,” he told her. “What’s the tab for the coffees?” He paid her and gave her a nice tip. “Thanks,” he said.
One of the perks of wearing a uniform complete with weapons and driving an official car, the valets were more than happy to let him leave the vehicle in front of the hotel, locked. He tried to pass the valet a five, but the kid waved him off. “Forget it, Officer. We’re good,” he said.
“Thanks for taking care of the car, son,” he said. “Have a good day.”
* * *
At nine o’clock all was quiet at the McCain house. Eve was in her bedroom, either studying or whispering scary love-words to Landon over the phone, Dee Dee and Ryan were supposed to be having quiet time prior to sleep. Mac tapped on Lou’s door and she said, “Come in.”
She was sitting on her bed, her TV turned low, her cell phone in her hand.
“I’m slipping out for an hour or so,” Mac said. “I’m going to Gina’s. I’ve got my phone.”
“I’ll watch the nest, but I’m going to sleep soon.”
“I won’t be late. She has an early morning.”
Less than ten minutes later he was parked in front of her house and he went to the front door. He knocked and she answered. He held up two bottles of beer in one hand and smiled at her.
She was drying a pan. Her hair was piled on top of her head, held with a clip and she wore those plaid pajama bottoms that were so worn in some places the Goodwill might reject them. No makeup. Fitted tank top. She had a wholesome look about her; accessible and genuine. She was a hardworking woman who saved her money and didn’t splurge on superficial things. And she looked so beautiful to him, she took his breath away. He wanted to gather her up in his arms and hold her.
“What are you doing here?” she asked with a smile.
“Come out on the porch with me. Have a beer,” he said. “I had a long day. I saw Cee Jay.”
Gina was clearly shocked. “She called you?”
He shook his head. “I tracked her down.”
Gina threw the pan and dish towel into the chair by the door and joined him on the porch. They sat on the top step and he twisted off the caps on their bottles. He leaned back against the porch post, one long leg stretched out on the porch and bent at the knee, the other rested two steps down. He patted the space between his legs and she slid over. She smoothed the fabric of his jeans over his hard thighs.
He bent and kissed her neck, inhaling.
“You’re fresh out of the tub.”
“I had a serious case of waitress legs today. Sore. Tell me about her.”
He sighed. “She’s messed up.” And then he unclipped her blond hair and let it fall to her shoulders.
“She sure doesn’t look messed up. All you have to do is mention her name and I start to feel shabby and poor.” She stretched her hands out in front of her face, looking at the short, cropped nails. “She’s so glamorous.”
“You’re not as poor as she is, honey,” he said.
“She’s got a good cover going, then.”
“She’s in trouble.”
Gina turned to look up at him, questioning him with her eyes.
“I investigated her past and what I couldn’t learn from public records, I hired some help to dig up. I felt that was important, to keep the family safe. She married someone else before we were divorced, then divorced him with a sizable settlement that, of course, she didn’t deserve because she was never legally married to him. She could be prosecuted for that.”
“Will you turn her in?”
He shook his head. “I don’t think so. But if anyone runs a records search, if they look at Oregon docs and California docs, it jumps out. And that’s not just bigamy, it’s fraud. She knew she wasn’t free to marry. But with all she’s up against, that’s not really her biggest worry—she has a gambling problem. A doozy. She’s run through a fortune and she has debts.”
“Don’t you have to turn her in?”
“I’m not obligated to snitch on every person I’ve ever known who once did something wrong, not even in my jurisdiction. In fact, I probably did more damage to her just by telling her I knew. I offered her a ride to a Gamblers Anonymous meeting. Daggers shot out of her eyes. She’s not ready to admit to that. In fact,” he added with a humorless laugh, “she suggested I could help her with that debt.”
Gina leaned back against him. “Really? You have a stash somewhere you’re not talking about?”
“Uh-huh. I have a house, half a house, actually, a retirement account and a small savings for the kids to help with college.”
“No!” she said. “She would do that?”
He ran his fingers through her hair. “I believe she would do that. She said she could pay me back immediately. She’s staying at the casino hotel in North Bend. I think that means if I gave her money, she’d put it all on the table, trying to double it or triple it.”
“She ran through a fortune? Did you point out to her that she once had a fortune and she never sent a dollar of it to her children?”
He put his hands on her shoulders and gently turned her. “No,” he said. “I looked into her eyes, her beautiful blue eyes, and they were dead. She has so much she could do, but she has killed her own spirit. It’s very sad. I hope she gets help for that, but it’s not going to happen today.” He leaned toward her and gave her a brief kiss. “Our lives are richer in every way.” And then he pulled her in for a deeper kiss.
And then he let her slide back into her position between his long legs. “Will you tell the kids?” she asked.
“Eventually,” he said. “I guess they’ll have to know, but I want to make sure they’re capable of understanding. I think Cee Jay will probably leave the area now—she knows I know everything. I told her if I wanted to, I could make a call to the Los Angeles prosecutor’s office. I pity her, but I’m not screwing around with her anymore. There’s nothing I can do for her. She’s on her own.”
He slid an arm around her from behind, holding her, her back comfortably at rest against him. He took a drink of his beer, then nuzzled her hair. She was so soft and fresh. And for a woman who had so much going on in her life, she was so uncomplicated.
They sat in silence, just having a beer together. After ten or fifteen minutes of peace and quiet and a half beer each, she asked, “Tell me what you’re thinking, Mac.”
“I’m just thinking how ready I am to move on.”
“Well, your ex-wife is pretty unpredictable. It’s a thing you might never get completely resolved.”
“You’re right about that. If I’m not real lucky, I might have to deal with her from time to time, but I still want to move on. Because she may have more surprises in store for me in coming years, but I’m all done with her. I think the kids and Lou are safe from her manipulations and plots. If Cee Jay proves to be a problem from time to time, it won’t be because any of us is vulnerable. I hope I’m not being overly optimistic in thinking she’s starting to understad that.”
“I think she’s going to be lurking in the back of your mind forever....”
“No, babe. Not in my mind—that’s on a different track. She could make attempts to mess with my peace of mind, but I’ll be vigilant. Hell, that’s how I am, anyway. It’s hard to uncop a guy, if you know what I mean. The worst part about my meeting with her today was that I sat with my back to the room in the hotel restaurant.” He laughed and shook his head. “But I’m turning my life over to you. I’ve given this issue all I’ve got to give it.”
She turned and looked up at him. “And what am I supposed to do?”
“I think we should put our heads together and make some plans for our own future. I know it’s complicated, but there must be a way we can get married. Maybe not next weekend, but the sooner the better.”
She turned to look up into his eyes. “Are you sure that’s what you want?”
“More than you can know.”
She turned around and knelt between his legs, her hands on his shoulders. “Do you think Lou and the kids can deal with it?”
“Lou’s been telling me I need a woman in my life for years, but I’ll sit down with her. As for the kids, the most stable thing our girls seem to have is each other. But—once Lou’s on board, we should try to figure out the details. We have to combine our families.”
“Or we could wait a year and a half, when our girls go to college,” she said.
“I don’t think I can wait that long.” He pulled her into his arms. “The best place in my life is when I’m near you, when I’m holding you, when I’m spooning you in bed. That’s my peace. That’s my anchor. And you know what? I don’t think it’s going to be hard. I think it’s going to feel like a huge relief.”
“This is not going to solve all your problems, Mac.”
“It’s going to solve at least one. I need to be with you.”
Sixteen
Gina was sitting on the front porch with her newspaper opened in front of her when Ashley came up the walk after school, her backpack slung over one shoulder. “My last big test,” she said. “Done!”
“How do you think you did?”
“I think I did great, as a matter of fact. The only major thing left for me is a book report—mega book thesis—for English. And I did it already. I hate to brag but it’s the smartest paper I’ve ever written. School’s out in a week and I’d like to work this summer. As much as possible. I have to save some money. So, who do you think will hire me? You or Gram?”
Surprised, Gina answered, “Well, do you want to wait tables, or cook and do dishes?”
“I might have time to do both over summer—two part-time jobs. What do you think?”
“I’ll ask Stu at the diner and you can talk to Gram.”
“If I can manage to work and cheer in my senior year, I might want to do that, too.”
“Suddenly very ambitious, aren’t we?” Gina said with a smile.
“Well, I am. I’ve been thinking college is getting close. I used to think of Downy when I thought of college without even considering all the other things it could mean. I had no idea all the things I was interested in until I started listening to Frank talk about everything he’d like to study and I thought—hmm, I kind of like the idea of psychology. And how about physical therapy? Or education? Or biology? Or—”
Gina laughed. “How about all those things?” she echoed. “What brought this on?”
“I’m sick of hearing about the wonderful Downy and his atomic arm. Good for him, but I have a life, too, and I just am not about to waste it on some jerk.”
“And fourth,” he said, standing. “I’ll pay for your coffee, and this is for the last time. Good luck, Cee Jay.”
She just looked at him with weary eyes and a sarcastically twisted mouth. He noticed that she’d tried to cover up the dark circles under her eyes, but the makeup had failed.
“Listen, let me say something. As hard as the last fifteen years have been, I have to thank you. For giving me my family, I mean. They’re great kids and they’re the life in me. I’m sorry things have been so awful for you. My life has been spare—no fancy houses or cars. But it’s been perfect in every way. I can’t think of a person on earth I’d trade places with.”
“Good for you,” she said tiredly, resting her head in her hand.
He didn’t leave money on the table. He wasn’t sure how bad off she was. She might grab a ten-dollar bill and race to a craps table and try to turn it into a hundred, which she’d then try to turn into a thousand, which would turn into nothing in no time. He went to find his waitress. “I’m leaving,” he told her. “What’s the tab for the coffees?” He paid her and gave her a nice tip. “Thanks,” he said.
One of the perks of wearing a uniform complete with weapons and driving an official car, the valets were more than happy to let him leave the vehicle in front of the hotel, locked. He tried to pass the valet a five, but the kid waved him off. “Forget it, Officer. We’re good,” he said.
“Thanks for taking care of the car, son,” he said. “Have a good day.”
* * *
At nine o’clock all was quiet at the McCain house. Eve was in her bedroom, either studying or whispering scary love-words to Landon over the phone, Dee Dee and Ryan were supposed to be having quiet time prior to sleep. Mac tapped on Lou’s door and she said, “Come in.”
She was sitting on her bed, her TV turned low, her cell phone in her hand.
“I’m slipping out for an hour or so,” Mac said. “I’m going to Gina’s. I’ve got my phone.”
“I’ll watch the nest, but I’m going to sleep soon.”
“I won’t be late. She has an early morning.”
Less than ten minutes later he was parked in front of her house and he went to the front door. He knocked and she answered. He held up two bottles of beer in one hand and smiled at her.
She was drying a pan. Her hair was piled on top of her head, held with a clip and she wore those plaid pajama bottoms that were so worn in some places the Goodwill might reject them. No makeup. Fitted tank top. She had a wholesome look about her; accessible and genuine. She was a hardworking woman who saved her money and didn’t splurge on superficial things. And she looked so beautiful to him, she took his breath away. He wanted to gather her up in his arms and hold her.
“What are you doing here?” she asked with a smile.
“Come out on the porch with me. Have a beer,” he said. “I had a long day. I saw Cee Jay.”
Gina was clearly shocked. “She called you?”
He shook his head. “I tracked her down.”
Gina threw the pan and dish towel into the chair by the door and joined him on the porch. They sat on the top step and he twisted off the caps on their bottles. He leaned back against the porch post, one long leg stretched out on the porch and bent at the knee, the other rested two steps down. He patted the space between his legs and she slid over. She smoothed the fabric of his jeans over his hard thighs.
He bent and kissed her neck, inhaling.
“You’re fresh out of the tub.”
“I had a serious case of waitress legs today. Sore. Tell me about her.”
He sighed. “She’s messed up.” And then he unclipped her blond hair and let it fall to her shoulders.
“She sure doesn’t look messed up. All you have to do is mention her name and I start to feel shabby and poor.” She stretched her hands out in front of her face, looking at the short, cropped nails. “She’s so glamorous.”
“You’re not as poor as she is, honey,” he said.
“She’s got a good cover going, then.”
“She’s in trouble.”
Gina turned to look up at him, questioning him with her eyes.
“I investigated her past and what I couldn’t learn from public records, I hired some help to dig up. I felt that was important, to keep the family safe. She married someone else before we were divorced, then divorced him with a sizable settlement that, of course, she didn’t deserve because she was never legally married to him. She could be prosecuted for that.”
“Will you turn her in?”
He shook his head. “I don’t think so. But if anyone runs a records search, if they look at Oregon docs and California docs, it jumps out. And that’s not just bigamy, it’s fraud. She knew she wasn’t free to marry. But with all she’s up against, that’s not really her biggest worry—she has a gambling problem. A doozy. She’s run through a fortune and she has debts.”
“Don’t you have to turn her in?”
“I’m not obligated to snitch on every person I’ve ever known who once did something wrong, not even in my jurisdiction. In fact, I probably did more damage to her just by telling her I knew. I offered her a ride to a Gamblers Anonymous meeting. Daggers shot out of her eyes. She’s not ready to admit to that. In fact,” he added with a humorless laugh, “she suggested I could help her with that debt.”
Gina leaned back against him. “Really? You have a stash somewhere you’re not talking about?”
“Uh-huh. I have a house, half a house, actually, a retirement account and a small savings for the kids to help with college.”
“No!” she said. “She would do that?”
He ran his fingers through her hair. “I believe she would do that. She said she could pay me back immediately. She’s staying at the casino hotel in North Bend. I think that means if I gave her money, she’d put it all on the table, trying to double it or triple it.”
“She ran through a fortune? Did you point out to her that she once had a fortune and she never sent a dollar of it to her children?”
He put his hands on her shoulders and gently turned her. “No,” he said. “I looked into her eyes, her beautiful blue eyes, and they were dead. She has so much she could do, but she has killed her own spirit. It’s very sad. I hope she gets help for that, but it’s not going to happen today.” He leaned toward her and gave her a brief kiss. “Our lives are richer in every way.” And then he pulled her in for a deeper kiss.
And then he let her slide back into her position between his long legs. “Will you tell the kids?” she asked.
“Eventually,” he said. “I guess they’ll have to know, but I want to make sure they’re capable of understanding. I think Cee Jay will probably leave the area now—she knows I know everything. I told her if I wanted to, I could make a call to the Los Angeles prosecutor’s office. I pity her, but I’m not screwing around with her anymore. There’s nothing I can do for her. She’s on her own.”
He slid an arm around her from behind, holding her, her back comfortably at rest against him. He took a drink of his beer, then nuzzled her hair. She was so soft and fresh. And for a woman who had so much going on in her life, she was so uncomplicated.
They sat in silence, just having a beer together. After ten or fifteen minutes of peace and quiet and a half beer each, she asked, “Tell me what you’re thinking, Mac.”
“I’m just thinking how ready I am to move on.”
“Well, your ex-wife is pretty unpredictable. It’s a thing you might never get completely resolved.”
“You’re right about that. If I’m not real lucky, I might have to deal with her from time to time, but I still want to move on. Because she may have more surprises in store for me in coming years, but I’m all done with her. I think the kids and Lou are safe from her manipulations and plots. If Cee Jay proves to be a problem from time to time, it won’t be because any of us is vulnerable. I hope I’m not being overly optimistic in thinking she’s starting to understad that.”
“I think she’s going to be lurking in the back of your mind forever....”
“No, babe. Not in my mind—that’s on a different track. She could make attempts to mess with my peace of mind, but I’ll be vigilant. Hell, that’s how I am, anyway. It’s hard to uncop a guy, if you know what I mean. The worst part about my meeting with her today was that I sat with my back to the room in the hotel restaurant.” He laughed and shook his head. “But I’m turning my life over to you. I’ve given this issue all I’ve got to give it.”
She turned and looked up at him. “And what am I supposed to do?”
“I think we should put our heads together and make some plans for our own future. I know it’s complicated, but there must be a way we can get married. Maybe not next weekend, but the sooner the better.”
She turned to look up into his eyes. “Are you sure that’s what you want?”
“More than you can know.”
She turned around and knelt between his legs, her hands on his shoulders. “Do you think Lou and the kids can deal with it?”
“Lou’s been telling me I need a woman in my life for years, but I’ll sit down with her. As for the kids, the most stable thing our girls seem to have is each other. But—once Lou’s on board, we should try to figure out the details. We have to combine our families.”
“Or we could wait a year and a half, when our girls go to college,” she said.
“I don’t think I can wait that long.” He pulled her into his arms. “The best place in my life is when I’m near you, when I’m holding you, when I’m spooning you in bed. That’s my peace. That’s my anchor. And you know what? I don’t think it’s going to be hard. I think it’s going to feel like a huge relief.”
“This is not going to solve all your problems, Mac.”
“It’s going to solve at least one. I need to be with you.”
Sixteen
Gina was sitting on the front porch with her newspaper opened in front of her when Ashley came up the walk after school, her backpack slung over one shoulder. “My last big test,” she said. “Done!”
“How do you think you did?”
“I think I did great, as a matter of fact. The only major thing left for me is a book report—mega book thesis—for English. And I did it already. I hate to brag but it’s the smartest paper I’ve ever written. School’s out in a week and I’d like to work this summer. As much as possible. I have to save some money. So, who do you think will hire me? You or Gram?”
Surprised, Gina answered, “Well, do you want to wait tables, or cook and do dishes?”
“I might have time to do both over summer—two part-time jobs. What do you think?”
“I’ll ask Stu at the diner and you can talk to Gram.”
“If I can manage to work and cheer in my senior year, I might want to do that, too.”
“Suddenly very ambitious, aren’t we?” Gina said with a smile.
“Well, I am. I’ve been thinking college is getting close. I used to think of Downy when I thought of college without even considering all the other things it could mean. I had no idea all the things I was interested in until I started listening to Frank talk about everything he’d like to study and I thought—hmm, I kind of like the idea of psychology. And how about physical therapy? Or education? Or biology? Or—”
Gina laughed. “How about all those things?” she echoed. “What brought this on?”
“I’m sick of hearing about the wonderful Downy and his atomic arm. Good for him, but I have a life, too, and I just am not about to waste it on some jerk.”
