The Savage Grace
Page 20

She didn’t move. Not even a twitch of her fingers.
“Please, Mom. That’s who you are. That’s who we need you to be. That’s your reality, no matter how crazy any of this is. Be my mother. Please.”
Tears stung my face as they slid down my cheeks. Mom hated public crying just as much as I did, but I let them flow. She didn’t notice. She didn’t react. Just kept staring at that damn smudge. I don’t know how I’d thought this was going to play out, but in my imagination I thought she would at least care.
My muscles ached as I felt a deep rumbling surge up from a dark place inside my heart. The wolf in my head whispered for me to lash out at my mom—or at the shell of the woman who sat in front of me now. The impulse made me sick. I clutched at my stomach and took deep breaths, focusing on purging those emotions from my mind. I hadn’t come here to get angry. I’d come here to get my mother back.
I let go of her hand and left her room. Covering my tear-streaked face with my arm, I passed the nurses’ station and asked Latisha to buzz me out the door.
What I needed now was to get away.
I almost ran into an older couple waiting outside the elevator when I exited the psych ward. The woman leaned her weight into her husband, and he clasped his arm around her for support. I noticed she bore a striking resemblance to the young woman I’d seen when I’d first entered the ward. I wondered if these were that patient’s parents, and I couldn’t bear the thought of sharing the confined space of the elevator with them. Like I might absorb their pain on top of mine.
Instead, I pushed open the heavy stairwell door and let it slam closed behind me. I darted down a couple of flights of stairs, my echoing footsteps chasing behind me. I made it all the way to the landing that would take me back out to the ICU floor before I fell against the wall.
Sobs quaked inside my chest and sounded even louder in the isolated stairwell. I hated myself for thinking I could make my mother understand how much I needed her. Like I could snap her out of her catatonic state just like that. I hated the horrible thoughts that had raced through my head when I’d failed. Deep down, I knew I couldn’t blame her for being mentally incapacitated, just like I couldn’t blame my father for being unconscious in his hospital bed.
But all the same, it still meant I was completely alone.
I let myself cry until the ache inside of me was replaced by a deep fatigue that pulled at my body, filling my muscles with the strain of everything that had happened in this harrowing day. It felt like I’d completed an Ironman triathlon—without my powers.
I closed my eyes with a heavy sigh. It took only a few moments before one of my dreams of Daniel trickled into my brain.
This one was different from the usual dream. I was standing rather than sitting on a bench, and Daniel stood in front of me. His almost devious, playful grin edged on his lips for a moment, then his face shifted into a look of deep concern. It all felt so real, it was hard to remember the image of him was purely an invention of my sorrow.
“Are you okay?” Daniel asked.
I tried to take a step closer to him, but my body swayed dangerously. Even in my dream I was exhausted. Daniel reached out and steadied me with his strong hands. I knew I shouldn’t indulge the dream—I’d only regret it when I fully realized it was fake—but I could feel his warmth so close to me, I couldn’t help grabbing him around the middle and nuzzling my face into his chest.
Daniel’s arms wrapped around me, engulfing me in his warmth. He rested his head against the top of mine, his breath tickling against my hair and scalp. The sensation was so wonderful and needed that I sighed out loud.
“I love you,” I whispered against the fabric of his shirt.
He took in a sharp breath. “I love you, too,” came a whisper so quiet I could feel the words spoken against my hair more than I could actually hear them.
I slid my hand up his chest and let my fingers linger on the warm skin exposed at his collar. “Why are you trying to leave me, Daniel?”
The arms holding me stiffened. I heard a throat clear, and even though the sound was familiar, it didn’t belong to Daniel.
And the fabric nestled against my face felt very much like flannel.
Oh no! My eyes shot open, and I stared up at the face that belonged with the arms that held me—in the real world, not in my dream. He looked back at me with bright green eyes almost hidden under the brim of a red baseball cap.
“Talbot?” I pushed myself out from his grasp. “What on earth do you think you’re doing?”
“Hey.” He held up his large hands defensively. “I just came into the stairwell and saw you standing here, looking like you were about to fall over. I asked if you were okay, and you’re the one who hugged me.”
“I did not!” My neck burned with the red splotches that formed there whenever I was lying. Which I wasn’t! “I was asleep. I thought you were someone else. You took advantage of me.”
“Took advantage? How about saved you from collapsing?”
“I’m fine! No thanks to you.”
“No thanks to me?”
“You said you were going to meet me here, like, five hours ago. Do you have any idea how alone and afraid I’ve been? Where were you?”
“I had to pull a disappearing act with those paramedics, who tried to force me into the ER. You should see how freaked out medical people get when they hear two hearts beating in my chest. I had to lay low for a while, and then the ICU nurses wouldn’t let me in there to see you guys because I’m not related. So I went home to clean up and change my clothes. I lost my lucky blue hat today, by the way. And then I had to take care of something before I could—”
“Your hat? You’re worried about losing your freaking hat? I almost lost my father today!” A sudden rush of power surged through my muscles. I pushed against his chest, hard enough so that he had to step backward to regain his footing. “Why didn’t you protect him?” I shouted. “Why didn’t you stop him from getting hurt? I asked you to do one thing for me, and that was keep him safe. And look where he ended up!”
I went to push him again, but Talbot grabbed my wrists to stop me.
“I tried, Grace. I went into that burning building and tried to carry him out because I knew that’s what you’d want me to do.”
“Well, you didn’t try hard enough!”