The Unfailing Light
Chapter Eighteen

The fall days grew chillier and shorter, the nights longer. Alix had returned to Smolny the day after my birthday, looking much healthier than before. But she remained as shy and aloof as ever. Elena and Aurora ignored her, but the Bavarian princesses and I still tried to draw her out of her shell.
Soon it was almost time for the annual Smolny Ball, where the eldest students were invited to dance at the Winter Palace. One Monday morning, the empress herself arrived at the institute with her oldest daughter, Grand Duchess Xenia, to issue our invitations. It seemed she was planning to lift the charm and allow us to go to the ball.
All the students of the White Form, the eldest class, assembled in the dining room to see the empress. In the room hung a large portrait of the empress's predecessor, Marie Feodorovna, who was Tsar Alexander the Second's wife and our present tsar's mother. I was only ten when she died, but I remembered the scandal caused when the tsar married his longtime mistress and tried to make her the new empress. It had shocked and horrified the rest of the imperial family. Marie Feodorovna had been a sweet and kind, but sickly, woman. When Alexander the Second was assassinated only a few months later, his widow took their children and moved to Paris.
The current empress was wearing a pale-rose gown with a cameo at her neck. Grand Duchess Xenia followed behind her in a dress of pink and white stripes, carrying a matching parasol. She smiled shyly and winked as soon as she spotted me in the line of students.
Elena stood at one side of me, and Princess Alix on the other. We curtsied low, as we'd over and over again been taught. The empress slowly walked down the line, nodding at each girl as she passed her. She stopped as she came to the three of us. I felt the familiar shimmering feeling, as her faerie sight washed over me. I did not know if she was looking for anything specific, or if she was trying to intimidate me, her husband's Dark Court necromancer. The girl who loved her son.
"Katerina Alexandrovna." The empress was addressing me. I was allowed to raise my head.
"Yes, Your Imperial Majesty."
"How is your mother?" she asked. "Does she still have that atrocious-looking old cat?"
"She is well, from the last letter I received from her. It has been several months since I saw her. And her cat, Sasha, is the same, Your Imperial Majesty." Was this some sort of test? Surely she did not really care about my mother, or her unfortunate and undead cat. The empress had not exchanged any such pleasantries with anyone else.
"That is good to hear. And how do your studies go?"
"Very well, Your Imperial Majesty."
"That is also good to hear." Suddenly the shimmering feeling was gone and the empress continued her progress down the line of students. Why had she chosen to speak with me? Did she know the truth about Sasha? That I had raised the poor cat from the dead when I was little just so my mother would not be sad?
Princess Alix looked pale. Perhaps she was sensing the empress's power for the first time. The empress frowned a little as she looked at Alix with the faerie sight as well. What did she see in the Hessian princess? Had she looked at Elena too?
When the empress had made her way to the end of our line, she turned to us all and said, "Madame Tomilov has told me how proud she is of everyone. I'm looking forward to seeing you at the Winter Palace next week. I hope it will be a night to remember."
We all curtsied in unison. The grand duchess did not say anything, but instead presented us with a box of medical supplies for our small infirmary. She gave us all a shy wave before turning to follow her mother out.
As soon as the empress and the grand duchess left, we had to return to our classes. Madame Orbellani handed me the box of medical supplies and asked me to take them to Sister Anna.
On my way to the nurse's office, I passed the headmistress's parlor and overheard two women's voices.
"See to it that she does not leave the school grounds again, not even when the spell is lifted for the ball next week."
"Of course, Your Imperial Majesty."
The empress spotted me. "Katerina Alexandrovna, I wish to speak to you. Madame Tomilov, you may leave us."
The headmistress's voice shook slightly. "Yes, Your Imperial Majesty."
Willing myself not to show any fear, I entered the parlor and curtsied. The empress was a short woman, but there was nothing petite about her. Her power radiated off of her, filling the whole room with her presence. Her dark-brown eyes bore into me before she spoke. "My wish is that every student here at Smolny remains safe."
"Of course, Your Imperial Majesty."
"The spell was tried severely when Ella took her foolish sister Alix through with only the protection of a family heirloom. If she thinks she can pull that stunt every full moon, she is very much mistaken."
Before I could even begin to wonder what she meant by "every full moon," she continued. "I will be lifting the spell for the Smolny Ball, but you are to remain here, Katerina. The Order of St. Lazarus has requested that you stay."
I felt like I'd been kicked in the chest. "The Order?"
"Your creatures are here to protect you, of course. From the lich tsar. Their commander feels they can keep you safer here than anywhere else in St. Petersburg."
"They are not my creatures, Your Imperial Majesty." I was shocked at myself for speaking in such a way to my empress, but all I could think of was not being able to see George.
"They serve the tsar, of course," she replied with a hint of disdain in her voice. "But they protect you because you are the rightful owner of the talisman."
I'd surrendered the Talisman of Isis to the tsar at Peterhof. I wanted nothing more to do with it or its dark powers of necromancy. "I cannot attend the Smolny Ball?" I asked. I could not believe the Order of St. Lazarus had anything to do with her decision.
"Not this year," the empress said, her face softening only a little. "You must agree that it's for the best. You are a danger to him, as well as to yourself."
George. She would do everything she could to keep us apart. And she was right. I was a danger to him. But I wasn't the only danger. "Your Imperial Majesty, I've heard alarming stories about the grand duke in Paris. Is he safe?"
The empress narrowed her eyes at my familiarity. "The grand duke is doing important work for the tsar," she said. "The Light Court has allies guarding him closely while he finishes his work there."
I was able to breathe a little easier, knowing this. Even if I would not be able to see him. Perhaps it was for the best. But I hated it all the same.
The empress swiftly dismissed me, and I was allowed to return to my errand. I delivered my package to Sister Anna and hurried back to class.
As I slid into my seat next to Elena in Madame Orbellani's room, the Montenegrin princess whispered, "I hope the tsarevitch dances with me again. Do you know he has not answered any of my letters since the first one?"
I could not believe Elena would do something so foolish. "You wrote to the tsarevitch? How could you be sure the letter would reach him? The imperial guard has probably given your letters to the tsar. Or the empress."
"She does not like me," Elena muttered. "But she will. I know she will, once she sees how happy I can make Nicholas Alexandrovich."
"Ecoutez, mesdemoiselles," Madame Orbellani warned.
I wanted to tell Elena she was deluding herself, but what could I say? I'd been deluding myself as well. The empress had no love for me either. Neither of us would ever be welcome in the Light Court. I grasped her hand and gave it a friendly squeeze. "I think one day soon you will find someone else that suits you better."
"But my parents have been hoping for a match between me and the tsarevitch for years. I have dreamed about my wedding for so long I cannot imagine anyone else as my groom."
I didn't know what to say. I wasn't sure if Elena loved Nicholas because she wanted to be the next empress or because it would please her parents. Elena was a romantic who believed in the power of true love, but she was also the daughter of a blood drinker, and a shape-shifting witch. I was scared of her, but couldn't help feeling a little sorry for her at the same time.