Thoughtless
Page 56
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I shrugged again.
Kellan grunted and ran a hand through his hair. "Well...isn't that interesting. And here, I thought we weren't talking about it." He looked over at Evan. "Well, since the cats out of the bag, why don't we all get on the same page." He flung his hands out to me dramatically, while keeping his focus on Evan. "I fucked Kiera...even though you warned me not to. Then, for good measure, I did it again!"
Everyone said something at once. Jenny scolded Kellan for his language, Evan cursed at him, and I yelled at him to shut up! Kellan glared at everyone and added, "Oh...and I called her a whore!"
"You're such a prick!" I said, looking away from him. Tears of rage stung my eyes and my face heated from embarrassment. Evan hadn't known any of that. He really didn't need to know either.
Kellan looked incredulous as I glanced back at him. "A prick? I'm a prick?" He took a step towards me angrily, and Jenny put a hand on his chest. "You're the one that hit me!" He gestured to his face, where red streaks were still visible. "Again!"
Evan butted in, looking peeved at Kellan. "Jesus, man. What were you thinking...or were you?"
Kellan's angry eyes snapped to him. "She begged me, I'm only human."
I made an affronted noise, unable to speak coherently. Did the whole room need to know such intimate details? I was astonished at how he was making me sound...like he was some innocent and I had seduced him. Yeah, right!
His eyes flashed back to me. "You begged me, Kiera! Both times, remember?" He gestured at me irritably, and Jenny lightly pushed him back. "All I did was what you asked. That's all I've ever done - what you've asked!" He held his hands out to the side, looking exasperated.
That loosened my tongue, as anger and embarrassment shot through me. He rarely did anything I "asked". I had a long list in my head, but forefront in my mind was the word he had spoken, just moments ago. "I didn't ask to be called a whore!"
He stepped towards me and Jenny put two hands on his chest. "And I didn't ask to be hit again! Quit fucking hitting me!" Jenny muttered, "Watch your language," which Kellan ignored, while Evan told him to, "Calm down," which Kellan also ignored.
"You did ask for it, prick!" No woman would have let the things he had spat at me slide. He had practically engraved me an invitation. "Since we're sharing," I angrily emphasized the word, "why don't you tell them what you said to me!" I stepped towards him and Jenny put one of her hands on my shoulder. The only thing keeping our anger apart was this pretty little blonde girl.
"If you'd given me two seconds, I was going to apologize for that. But you know what...now I don't!" He shrugged and shook his head. "I'm not sorry I said it." He angrily pointed at me. "You were out of line! You just don't like that I'm dating!"
My eyes blazed with fury. "Dating? Screwing everything that walks - isn't dating, Kellan! You don't even bother learning their names. That's not okay!" I shook my head angrily. "You are a dog!" I growled.
Evan butted in again before Kellan could respond. "She has a point, Kellan."
"What?" Kellan and I both gaped at him. "You got something else to say to me, Evan?" Kellan snapped at him, backing away from Jenny, who lowered her hand from his chest.
Evan's normally jovial face looked angry at this point. "Maybe I do. Maybe she's right. And maybe, just maybe, you know it too." Kellan blanched, but said nothing. "Why don't you tell her why you're so...free...with yourself? She might understand."
Kellan got really pissed and took a step towards Evan. "What the fuck do you know about it!"
Evan suddenly looked sympathetic, and quietly replied, "More than you think I do, Kellan."
Kellan stopped moving, his face paled. "Back off, Evan...I'm not asking. Back the fuck off." His voice was low and icy cold, he really wasn't joking.
"Kellan....language," Jenny scolded him again.
At the same time, I snapped, "What are you talking about?" I was highly irritated at their confusing exchange.
Kellan ignored both of us and glared at Evan icily. Evan stared back, then resignedly sighed, "Whatever, man...your call."
Kellan sniffed. "Damn right it is." He pointed at all of us. "How I date, is none of your concern. If I want to screw this whole bar, you all-"
"You practically have!" I shouted, cutting him off.
"No! I screwed you!" he shouted back, and in the sudden quiet that followed the statement, I heard Evan curse again and Jenny softly sigh. "And you feel bad about cheating on Denny." He leaned in over Jenny's head, and she brought her hand back to his chest and pushed against him. "You feel guilty about having an affair, but you-"
I interrupted him. "We are not having an affair! We made a mistake, twice - that's it!"
He exhaled angrily. "Oh come on, Kiera! God, you are naive. We may have only had sex twice, but we've most definitely been having an affair, the entire time!"
"That makes no sense!" I yelled back at him.
"Really? Then why did you so desperately want to hide it from Denny, huh? If it really was all so harmless and innocent, then why weren't we open about our...relationship...to anyone?" He raised his arm to the door, to indicate the outside world.
He was right. We only let others see a fraction of how close we really were with each other. I couldn't answer him. "I...I..."
"Why can't we even touch anymore?" My breath stopped. I didn't like his question or the huskiness of his voice. "What happens to you when I touch you, Kiera?" His tone, almost a low growl, was getting as suggestive as his words, and Jenny took a step away from him, dropping her hand from his chest again.
He ran a hand down his shirt, as he answered his own question. "Your pulse races, your breath quickens," he bit his lip and started simulated heavy breathing, keeping his eyes locked on mine, "your body trembles, your lips part, your eyes burn." He closed his eyes and exhaled with a soft groan, then reopened his eyes and inhaled through his teeth suggestively. With a purposely strained voice, he continued antagonizing me, "Your body aches...everywhere."
He closed his eyes again and exactly mimicked a low moan that I had made with him on several occasions. He tangled a hand back through his own hair, in a way that I had done time and again, and ran his other hand back up his chest, in a way only too familiar to me. He had a decidedly intimate look on his face, and the overall effect was so shockingly erotic, and familiar, that I blushed deeply. He swallowed and made a horribly enticing noise as he let his mouth fall open in a pant. "Oh...god...please..." He mimicked in a low groan, as his hands started running down his body, towards his jeans...
"Enough!" I spat out. Thoroughly embarrassed, I glanced at Jenny. She looked as pale as I was red. She glanced back at me and her hand on my shoulder became sympathetic, rather than restraining. From the door, I heard Evan mutter, "Jesus, Kellan."
Kellan's angry eyes flashed open and he snapped, "That's what I thought! Does that sound innocent to you?" He looked around the room. "To any of you?" He glared at me again. "You made your choice, remember? Denny. We ended...this." He indicated himself and me. "You had no feelings for me. You didn't want to be with me, but now, you don't want anyone else to be with me, right?" He shook his head angrily. "Is that what you want? For me to be completely alone?" His voice broke on the end of that sentence in his anger.
My face, still red in embarrassment, heated in anger. "I never said that. I said if you were to see someone, I would understand...but god, Kellan, Evan's right, show some restraint!" Silence filled the room, with everyone glaring at everyone else until finally, I couldn't take it anymore. "Are you trying to hurt me? Do you have something to prove?"
He eyed me up and down. "To you...? No...nothing!"
He backed away from Jenny a little and I pushed into her. She brought both her hands to my shoulders, to hold me back. "You're not trying to purposely hurt me?" I snarled at him.
"No." He ran his hand through his hair again, and angrily shook his head.
I actually saw red I was so infuriated with him. Of course he was trying to hurt me! Why else would he be whoring himself all over town? Why else would he have broken his promise? "Then what about my sister?"
He groaned and looked up at the ceiling. "God, not that again."
Evan took a step to help Jenny, who was beginning to struggle with me, as I was really pissed off and pushing against her. Jenny looked over at Evan and not saying anything, shook her head lightly and he stayed where he was by the door.
"Yes! That! Again! You promised!" I yelled, pointing at him.
"Obviously, I lied, Kiera!" he yelled back. "If you haven't noticed, I do that! And what does it matter anyway...she wanted me, you didn't. What do you care if I-"
"Because, you're mine!" I yelled back at him, quite unintentionally. Of course, he wasn't actually mine...
The immediate silence after that was deafening. Kellan's face paled and then slowly, got very, very angry. "No, no I'm not! THAT'S THE WHOLE FUCKING POINT!"
"Kellan!" Jenny scolded him again, and he finally glared at her.
My face heated in embarrassment at my unthinking declaration. "Is that why you did it? Is that why you slept with her, you son of a bitch! To prove a point?" My voice cracked in my anger.
Jenny finally interrupted. "He didn't, Kiera," she stated calmly.
Kellan glared at her icily. "Jenny!"
"What?" I asked her, and she dropped her hands from my shoulders.
Ignoring Kellan's icy glare, she again, very calmly said, "Kellan wasn't the one who slept with her."
Kellan took a menacing step towards Jenny and Evan took a step towards Kellan. Glancing up at Evan, Kellan stopped. "This doesn't concern you, Jenny, butt out!" he snapped.
Slightly irritated with him now, she icily met his gaze. "Now it does! Why are you lying to her, Kellan? Tell her the truth! For once, tell her the truth."
He shut his mouth and clenched his jaw. Evan scowled at him and Jenny frowned. Not able to stand it any longer, I shouted, "Will someone please tell me...something?"
Jenny looked back at me. "Don't you ever listen to Griffin?" she asked softly.
Irritated, Kellan said, "No, she avoids conversations with him, if she can help it." Quieter, he added, "I counted on that."
I furrowed my brow, confused. "Wait...Griffin? My sister slept with Griffin?"
Jenny nodded, rolling her eyes. "He hasn't shut up about it, Kiera. He keeps telling everyone - 'Best 'O' of my life!'" She made a disgusted face.
Kellan clenched his jaw again. "That's enough, Jenny."
I stared at her, disbelieving, and then looked over at Evan. He shrugged and nodded then looked curiously at Kellan. So did Jenny. And then, so did I.
"You lied to me?" I whispered.
He shrugged noncommittally. "You assumed. I simply...encouraged that thought."
Anger flashed through me. "You lied to me!" I yelled.
"I told you, I do that!" he snapped back.
"Why?" I demanded.
Kellan looked away from all of us, and didn't answer.
"Answer her, Kellan," Jenny said calmly. He looked back to her and she raised an eyebrow at him. Kellan frowned, but remained silent.
Memories flooded me. "The whole fight in the car...the rain...all of that started, because I was so angry about you and her. Why would you let me think-"
He glared over at me. "Why did you automatically assume-"
"She told me. Well, she made it sound like..." I closed my eyes. I hadn't wanted to hear it. I had never let her fully explain what had happened that night. All she had said about Kellan, was that she wanted me to thank him for her. I had assumed she wanted me to thank him for...that. Maybe she had just meant for showing her a good time, for dancing with her all night, for taking her to Griffin's house, for giving her a ride home, or...god, it could have been anything really.
Kellan grunted and ran a hand through his hair. "Well...isn't that interesting. And here, I thought we weren't talking about it." He looked over at Evan. "Well, since the cats out of the bag, why don't we all get on the same page." He flung his hands out to me dramatically, while keeping his focus on Evan. "I fucked Kiera...even though you warned me not to. Then, for good measure, I did it again!"
Everyone said something at once. Jenny scolded Kellan for his language, Evan cursed at him, and I yelled at him to shut up! Kellan glared at everyone and added, "Oh...and I called her a whore!"
"You're such a prick!" I said, looking away from him. Tears of rage stung my eyes and my face heated from embarrassment. Evan hadn't known any of that. He really didn't need to know either.
Kellan looked incredulous as I glanced back at him. "A prick? I'm a prick?" He took a step towards me angrily, and Jenny put a hand on his chest. "You're the one that hit me!" He gestured to his face, where red streaks were still visible. "Again!"
Evan butted in, looking peeved at Kellan. "Jesus, man. What were you thinking...or were you?"
Kellan's angry eyes snapped to him. "She begged me, I'm only human."
I made an affronted noise, unable to speak coherently. Did the whole room need to know such intimate details? I was astonished at how he was making me sound...like he was some innocent and I had seduced him. Yeah, right!
His eyes flashed back to me. "You begged me, Kiera! Both times, remember?" He gestured at me irritably, and Jenny lightly pushed him back. "All I did was what you asked. That's all I've ever done - what you've asked!" He held his hands out to the side, looking exasperated.
That loosened my tongue, as anger and embarrassment shot through me. He rarely did anything I "asked". I had a long list in my head, but forefront in my mind was the word he had spoken, just moments ago. "I didn't ask to be called a whore!"
He stepped towards me and Jenny put two hands on his chest. "And I didn't ask to be hit again! Quit fucking hitting me!" Jenny muttered, "Watch your language," which Kellan ignored, while Evan told him to, "Calm down," which Kellan also ignored.
"You did ask for it, prick!" No woman would have let the things he had spat at me slide. He had practically engraved me an invitation. "Since we're sharing," I angrily emphasized the word, "why don't you tell them what you said to me!" I stepped towards him and Jenny put one of her hands on my shoulder. The only thing keeping our anger apart was this pretty little blonde girl.
"If you'd given me two seconds, I was going to apologize for that. But you know what...now I don't!" He shrugged and shook his head. "I'm not sorry I said it." He angrily pointed at me. "You were out of line! You just don't like that I'm dating!"
My eyes blazed with fury. "Dating? Screwing everything that walks - isn't dating, Kellan! You don't even bother learning their names. That's not okay!" I shook my head angrily. "You are a dog!" I growled.
Evan butted in again before Kellan could respond. "She has a point, Kellan."
"What?" Kellan and I both gaped at him. "You got something else to say to me, Evan?" Kellan snapped at him, backing away from Jenny, who lowered her hand from his chest.
Evan's normally jovial face looked angry at this point. "Maybe I do. Maybe she's right. And maybe, just maybe, you know it too." Kellan blanched, but said nothing. "Why don't you tell her why you're so...free...with yourself? She might understand."
Kellan got really pissed and took a step towards Evan. "What the fuck do you know about it!"
Evan suddenly looked sympathetic, and quietly replied, "More than you think I do, Kellan."
Kellan stopped moving, his face paled. "Back off, Evan...I'm not asking. Back the fuck off." His voice was low and icy cold, he really wasn't joking.
"Kellan....language," Jenny scolded him again.
At the same time, I snapped, "What are you talking about?" I was highly irritated at their confusing exchange.
Kellan ignored both of us and glared at Evan icily. Evan stared back, then resignedly sighed, "Whatever, man...your call."
Kellan sniffed. "Damn right it is." He pointed at all of us. "How I date, is none of your concern. If I want to screw this whole bar, you all-"
"You practically have!" I shouted, cutting him off.
"No! I screwed you!" he shouted back, and in the sudden quiet that followed the statement, I heard Evan curse again and Jenny softly sigh. "And you feel bad about cheating on Denny." He leaned in over Jenny's head, and she brought her hand back to his chest and pushed against him. "You feel guilty about having an affair, but you-"
I interrupted him. "We are not having an affair! We made a mistake, twice - that's it!"
He exhaled angrily. "Oh come on, Kiera! God, you are naive. We may have only had sex twice, but we've most definitely been having an affair, the entire time!"
"That makes no sense!" I yelled back at him.
"Really? Then why did you so desperately want to hide it from Denny, huh? If it really was all so harmless and innocent, then why weren't we open about our...relationship...to anyone?" He raised his arm to the door, to indicate the outside world.
He was right. We only let others see a fraction of how close we really were with each other. I couldn't answer him. "I...I..."
"Why can't we even touch anymore?" My breath stopped. I didn't like his question or the huskiness of his voice. "What happens to you when I touch you, Kiera?" His tone, almost a low growl, was getting as suggestive as his words, and Jenny took a step away from him, dropping her hand from his chest again.
He ran a hand down his shirt, as he answered his own question. "Your pulse races, your breath quickens," he bit his lip and started simulated heavy breathing, keeping his eyes locked on mine, "your body trembles, your lips part, your eyes burn." He closed his eyes and exhaled with a soft groan, then reopened his eyes and inhaled through his teeth suggestively. With a purposely strained voice, he continued antagonizing me, "Your body aches...everywhere."
He closed his eyes again and exactly mimicked a low moan that I had made with him on several occasions. He tangled a hand back through his own hair, in a way that I had done time and again, and ran his other hand back up his chest, in a way only too familiar to me. He had a decidedly intimate look on his face, and the overall effect was so shockingly erotic, and familiar, that I blushed deeply. He swallowed and made a horribly enticing noise as he let his mouth fall open in a pant. "Oh...god...please..." He mimicked in a low groan, as his hands started running down his body, towards his jeans...
"Enough!" I spat out. Thoroughly embarrassed, I glanced at Jenny. She looked as pale as I was red. She glanced back at me and her hand on my shoulder became sympathetic, rather than restraining. From the door, I heard Evan mutter, "Jesus, Kellan."
Kellan's angry eyes flashed open and he snapped, "That's what I thought! Does that sound innocent to you?" He looked around the room. "To any of you?" He glared at me again. "You made your choice, remember? Denny. We ended...this." He indicated himself and me. "You had no feelings for me. You didn't want to be with me, but now, you don't want anyone else to be with me, right?" He shook his head angrily. "Is that what you want? For me to be completely alone?" His voice broke on the end of that sentence in his anger.
My face, still red in embarrassment, heated in anger. "I never said that. I said if you were to see someone, I would understand...but god, Kellan, Evan's right, show some restraint!" Silence filled the room, with everyone glaring at everyone else until finally, I couldn't take it anymore. "Are you trying to hurt me? Do you have something to prove?"
He eyed me up and down. "To you...? No...nothing!"
He backed away from Jenny a little and I pushed into her. She brought both her hands to my shoulders, to hold me back. "You're not trying to purposely hurt me?" I snarled at him.
"No." He ran his hand through his hair again, and angrily shook his head.
I actually saw red I was so infuriated with him. Of course he was trying to hurt me! Why else would he be whoring himself all over town? Why else would he have broken his promise? "Then what about my sister?"
He groaned and looked up at the ceiling. "God, not that again."
Evan took a step to help Jenny, who was beginning to struggle with me, as I was really pissed off and pushing against her. Jenny looked over at Evan and not saying anything, shook her head lightly and he stayed where he was by the door.
"Yes! That! Again! You promised!" I yelled, pointing at him.
"Obviously, I lied, Kiera!" he yelled back. "If you haven't noticed, I do that! And what does it matter anyway...she wanted me, you didn't. What do you care if I-"
"Because, you're mine!" I yelled back at him, quite unintentionally. Of course, he wasn't actually mine...
The immediate silence after that was deafening. Kellan's face paled and then slowly, got very, very angry. "No, no I'm not! THAT'S THE WHOLE FUCKING POINT!"
"Kellan!" Jenny scolded him again, and he finally glared at her.
My face heated in embarrassment at my unthinking declaration. "Is that why you did it? Is that why you slept with her, you son of a bitch! To prove a point?" My voice cracked in my anger.
Jenny finally interrupted. "He didn't, Kiera," she stated calmly.
Kellan glared at her icily. "Jenny!"
"What?" I asked her, and she dropped her hands from my shoulders.
Ignoring Kellan's icy glare, she again, very calmly said, "Kellan wasn't the one who slept with her."
Kellan took a menacing step towards Jenny and Evan took a step towards Kellan. Glancing up at Evan, Kellan stopped. "This doesn't concern you, Jenny, butt out!" he snapped.
Slightly irritated with him now, she icily met his gaze. "Now it does! Why are you lying to her, Kellan? Tell her the truth! For once, tell her the truth."
He shut his mouth and clenched his jaw. Evan scowled at him and Jenny frowned. Not able to stand it any longer, I shouted, "Will someone please tell me...something?"
Jenny looked back at me. "Don't you ever listen to Griffin?" she asked softly.
Irritated, Kellan said, "No, she avoids conversations with him, if she can help it." Quieter, he added, "I counted on that."
I furrowed my brow, confused. "Wait...Griffin? My sister slept with Griffin?"
Jenny nodded, rolling her eyes. "He hasn't shut up about it, Kiera. He keeps telling everyone - 'Best 'O' of my life!'" She made a disgusted face.
Kellan clenched his jaw again. "That's enough, Jenny."
I stared at her, disbelieving, and then looked over at Evan. He shrugged and nodded then looked curiously at Kellan. So did Jenny. And then, so did I.
"You lied to me?" I whispered.
He shrugged noncommittally. "You assumed. I simply...encouraged that thought."
Anger flashed through me. "You lied to me!" I yelled.
"I told you, I do that!" he snapped back.
"Why?" I demanded.
Kellan looked away from all of us, and didn't answer.
"Answer her, Kellan," Jenny said calmly. He looked back to her and she raised an eyebrow at him. Kellan frowned, but remained silent.
Memories flooded me. "The whole fight in the car...the rain...all of that started, because I was so angry about you and her. Why would you let me think-"
He glared over at me. "Why did you automatically assume-"
"She told me. Well, she made it sound like..." I closed my eyes. I hadn't wanted to hear it. I had never let her fully explain what had happened that night. All she had said about Kellan, was that she wanted me to thank him for her. I had assumed she wanted me to thank him for...that. Maybe she had just meant for showing her a good time, for dancing with her all night, for taking her to Griffin's house, for giving her a ride home, or...god, it could have been anything really.