Unbreak Me
Page 16

 Lexi Ryan

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I know she’s right, but that doesn’t make this hurt any less. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I couldn’t let her go.”
Minutes pass with nothing but our breath and her tears filling the silence, then Krystal gently pushes me back and pastes on a smile. “We’re both going to be fine.”
I stare at her, the reality of what has just happened settling in further with each beat of my heart. “Will you stay on? Continue to be a part of the gallery?”
She gives a sad smile. “I’ll be there through the opening. After…” She shakes her head. “It was never my dream. It was yours and Maggie’s. I was just the understudy.”
***
Maggie
She won’t stop crying and no one can calm her down.
“He was so perfect. Why do things have to fall apart like this? Why can’t people just live happily ever after?” She draws in a long, shaky breath and wipes her snotty nose.
Lizzy casts a pleading look at me over her shoulder before returning to patting and cooing. “Everything happens for a reason. Krystal’s going to be okay, Mom.”
I drag my hand over my face. Sunday morning brunch has been hijacked by the announcement of Krystal and Will’s breakup. They delivered the news together, holding hands, and I thought how much stronger she is than I am.
When I called off my wedding, I didn’t want to look at anyone, and I left town as quickly as I could. Not Krystal. She delivered the news with her shoulders back and her chin high. Then she and Will hugged before he left.
It would have been relatively painless if my mom wasn’t so beside herself.
I turn away from mom’s tears and run into Krystal. I’ve been avoiding her all morning, afraid she’d blame me.
“Can we talk outside?” she asks softly.
I nod and follow her out back. The sky is gray and it’s drizzled on and off all morning. A year ago, when I told Will I couldn’t go through with the wedding, the weather was like this. We walked by the river, letting the rain disguise our tears as I fed him small pieces of the truth.
I told him about how much I bled at the river and that I went to the hospital. I didn’t tell him it wasn’t a miscarriage.
I told him it was okay because I wasn’t ready to be a mom anyway. I didn’t tell him I would be giving my baby to someone else.
I told him I felt like I’d pushed him into marrying me. I didn’t tell him that the baby wasn’t his.
The memory makes me cold and I freeze in my tracks at the deck steps.
Krystal’s halfway down the path to the river before she realizes I’ve stopped. She turns and waves me down. “Come on, Mags.”
I swallow and push myself forward to catch up. When I reach her, she doesn’t say anything but continues walking. Neither of us speaks until we’re stepping onto the dock.
“I was always so jealous of you,” she says softly.
“What?” My oldest sister is about as perfect as a person can get. I can’t imagine why she would have ever been jealous of me. “Why?”
She shrugs. “You were the fun one, the cool one. Even when you were young and Will didn’t see you as anything more than a kid, he loved to be around you.”
“He hung around all of us,” I object. “Not just me.”
“I was the boring one.”
“You’re not boring.”
Her eyes connect to mine. She looks so tired. “It’s okay. It wasn’t your fault you shined so bright.”
I swallow hard. “You think I shined bright?”
“Brighter than the sun since the day you were born,” she whispers. “It’s not your fault that Will’s still in love with you.”
“Oh, Krys.”
“I don’t blame you anymore.” She takes a breath. “I used to, but I don’t anymore.”
My heart squeezes in my chest and I don’t know what to say.
“I blame myself. I knew he was in love with you, but I wanted him anyway. I told myself it was okay because you left.” She shakes her head. “But it wasn’t okay. He’s always been yours.”
The forgiveness is in her eyes, and it hurts too much. I walk to the end of the dock and look out into the water. A raindrop hits my cheek and another hits my shoulder, but I don’t turn back to the house.
“Will you try to go back to Will?” she asks. “Once everything settles down?”
I watch the rain hit the water, watch the tiny drop get swallowed up by the water. My tongue is heavy, as if it’s weighed down by wet sand from the river’s bottom.
“You don’t have to tell me, obviously,” she says, “but I know he’d take you in a heartbeat.”
Krystal is offering me a gift that I can’t take. Being with Will would mean I would have to tell him the truth—and the secrets I’ve kept from him, I don’t think he could ever forgive.
Chapter Thirteen
Asher
A knock at my door pulls me from sleep. I roll over and look at the clock.
Five a.m. is way too damn early for company.
I drag myself from under the covers, grabbing a pair of jeans off the floor and tugging them on as I make my way to the door. I’m in my apartment in New York, a place I keep for the sole purpose of the one week a month I get to keep my daughter. If it weren’t for her, I’d get rid of the damn place. New York is toxic to me, but I won’t spend the little time I get with Zoe in a damn hotel room.
The knock sounds again.
“I’m coming,” I mutter, pulling the door open without checking the peephole.
Juliana stands on the other side, her mouth drawn into a pout, annoyance coloring her features.
I cross my arms. “Do you have any idea what time it is?”
“Sure, I’d love to come in. You’re such a gentleman.” She pushes past me and into the apartment, and my mind is filled with flashes of memories from the days we lived here together. We’d party and roll in about this time and barely make it through the door before we fucked.
Now I never bring women here, and instead of weed and beer bottles, the living room is littered with pink toys.
Suddenly, she turns her appraising eyes to me, my bare chest. Her smile is approving. And a little lopsided. “What do you know?”
“Not much before a decent cup of coffee,” I mutter, ignoring the heat in her eyes and the suggestion of her smile. If I’m guessing right, Juliana is drunk or close to it.
Her eyes drop to my crotch. “You’re looking good, Asher. So good I haven’t stopped thinking about you since you came by the house this afternoon.”
I sigh and point to the clock. “That would be yesterday.”
“Such a stickler for details.”
“Where’s Zoe?”
“At home in bed.”
My jaw ticks.
“What? The nanny’s there. She’s fine.”
“Juliana, you need to understand something.”
Her eyes are on my lips as she closes the space between us and trails her fingers over my bare chest. “Yeah? Is it something good?”
Bile rises in my throat as I remove her hand. “I don’t come to town to see you.”
She rolls her eyes. “Come on, I know you get a little randy in the mornings.” This time, both her hands are on me and she looks up at me through her lashes. “Let’s have a little fun.” She shimmies her body closer and presses her br**sts against my chest. “I miss the way you f**k me.”
I clench my jaw and fist my hands at my sides. My brain wants nothing to do with this woman, but Mr. Balls For Brains down south has other ideas.
“Come on,” she whispers. “Remember how good it used to be.”
“Stop,” I snarl, stepping back. “I don’t remember, and neither do you. We were too goddamn wasted to remember shit. You’re with Chad now, remember?” Chad. I can barely speak the man’s name without spitting. I’ve come a long way in the last year, and I take responsibility for my actions. But I still hate that man’s guts.
She drops her hands and scowls. “Jesus, you’ve become such a buzzkill.”
I don’t respond. I don’t care enough to argue any more. “My lawyer sent you papers.”
She’s weaving her way toward the door. “I’m going to pretend he didn’t,” she says. “You’ll change your mind.”
“No, I won’t.” But she’s already out the door.
***
The sun blazes hot in the morning sky, and I slip my sunglasses on as I ring the doorbell of the brick monstrosity. The yard is well tended, the gardens lush. Hell, the inside better be in great shape too, since I pay for it all.
Juliana opens the door with a smile that drops from her face the moment she sets her bright brown eyes on me. She’s hardly the same woman who stumbled into my apartment this morning. “What are you doing here?”
“I’m here to see Zoe.”
Her face turns icy, and she throws a worried glance over her shoulder. Looking for her little guard dog of a boyfriend, no doubt. But I checked to make sure Chad’s car wasn’t here before I came up to the door. That little protective order he has against me makes it tricky to see my kid.
“You know you aren’t permitted—”
“Juliana—”
“No, Asher. Don’t. You’re the one who screwed up here.”
“I don’t—”
“Daddy?”
Zoe’s standing at the bottom of the staircase, tugging on a pigtail.
The jagged edge of something broken snags my breath from my lungs. I drop to a knee and open my arms.
She gives me a tentative smile before scurrying toward me with a shriek of delight. She throws herself into my arms and clings to me and that jagged edge rips through me and tears away the rest of my numbness.
“Just look at your beautiful new house,” I whisper. “I bet you haven’t even seen the whole thing, it’s so big!”
She giggles. “Have too!”
“I think it’s a castle.”
“Nuh-uh!” She puts her hands on her hips.
“Sure it is! A big house where a princess lives is a castle.”
“It’s not a castle, silly!”
“Zoe, why don’t you go play in your room?” Juliana says.
“Do you wanna see it, Daddy?” Zoe asks, those milk-chocolate eyes widening.
I kiss her forehead. “Not today, sweetie.”
“When do we get another special day?” my daughter asks, backing toward the stairs.
“Tomorrow after piano lessons. I’ll pick you up.”
She grins and hurries up the steps, taking half of my heart with her.
“Why do you do this?” Juliana demands.
I watch Zoe until she’s out of sight then turn to Juliana. “Do what, exactly?”
She frowns and softens the edge in her voice. “Show up here when you know it’s against the court order? Get your daughter excited about seeing you before it’s your visitation time?”
“Because she’s my daughter,” I growl. I take a step back. My fists clench at my sides and I feel the old anger rising up in me. “I have a right to see her.”
“You do. One week a month.”
I take another step back and shake my head. “She’s my daughter.”
“What if Chad had been here?” She lifts her palms. “Asher…”
But I don’t want to hear what she has to say, and I head to my car before I say something I’ll regret.
Chapter Fourteen
Maggie
“I’m gonna need another,” I sing as our waitress comes by our table.
Hanna and Lizzy exchange a look.
“What about you two?” the waitress asks.
“We’re fine,” Lizzy says, eyeing my nearly empty glass.
“What?” I ask, leaning forward on the table. “Are we having a good time tonight or not?”
“Just take it easy, okay?” Hanna says.
The Friday night crowd is an odd mix of townies and college kids who stayed in town for a job or summer classes. I’m not even sure which category my sisters and I fit into. Are we townies because we grew up here or did we start to get lumped in with the pretentious assholes when we started at Sinclair?
“I’m not spending my Friday night holding your hair while you barf into Brady’s toilet.”
I roll my eyes. “Lightweights.”
I talked my sisters into moving martini night to Brady’s, where we’re dancing instead of gossiping and drinking cheap margaritas instead of martinis. I almost canceled in favor of some vodka and solitude in my studio, but I thought better of it when I remembered how that ended last time.
I want to talk to them about Krystal and Will’s breakup. I want to show them the pictures of Grace that came in the mail this week. I want to ask if they know why Asher wasn’t pissed at me when he saw Will kissing me last week.
I want to talk to them like a normal girl talks to her sisters. Maybe, if I have one more drink, I can.
“Maggie,” Lizzy calls, waving a hand in front of my face. “Don’t leave us, girlie.”
Hanna’s frowning. “What’s on your mind, Mags?”
I blink at her and smile. “I need to know how to seduce a rock star.”
I’ve begun thirty-two text messages to him this week. Thirty-two times, I picked up my phone and pulled up his number. Thirty-two times I deleted the message before sending it.
I want to end whatever this is between us. Other than Will, Asher is the only one in New Hope who knows about my pregnancy. And then he saw me kiss Will and he didn’t get pissed. I’m terrified of how much he knows about me, how much he sees when he looks at me.