“Sure, but, Blake isn’t back yet,” I frown.
“He’s on his way,” Dash tells me absently, already checking his tablet again. “He called an hour ago, just landed, should be back soon.”
“Oh. OK.”
I back away and go trudge up the dunes. Blake called Dash—but still hasn’t bothered to contact me. Is it because he’s feeling guilty?
Or, worse still, because he just didn’t even think of me.
I gulp back my heartache and go tap lightly on Lila’s trailer.
“Come in!” her voice sounds.
I step inside, curious. Lila’s trailer has been off-limits for weeks to everyone except her assistant and makeup people. Now, I look around. It’s a narrow space, with costumes and makeup on every surface and a surprising number of books scattered around.
Lila is curled up in a corner, her hands wrapped around a steaming mug. “What do you need?” she asks, but she sounds tired instead of scathing.
“Dash wanted to tell you,we’re back on the reunion scene after lunch.”
Lila’s eyes close for a moment, she tilts her head back against the chair. “Dammit,” she murmurs, “I’m not ready for that scene. I don’t have it yet.”
She opens her eyes again, and I’m shocked to see real vulnerability in her expression.
“You’ll be fine,” I reassure her. “I watched you rehearse with Blake. You guys were great.”
“He was great,” Lila corrects me with a wry look. “But me? My last movie was a teen slasher thing, the director spent more time telling me to push my cleavage up than actually act. I’ve been doing the best I can, but… We’re running out of time here, and I want to be good. Not just ‘oh, Lila looks great in that outfit’ good, but real, you know? And this scene is everything, I have to sell it.”
I feel a surge of sympathy for her. I’ve spent all this time assuming she doesn’t care what anyone thinks of her—or that she’s totally oblivious in her pampered little world. But Lila knows exactly what her reputation is, and she desperately wants to prove everyone wrong.
“Well, what are you having problems with?” I ask, taking a seat beside her.
She inhales. “It’s just, this scene. It’s the big reunion, right? He comes and apologizes, and she welcomes him with open arms. But I don’t understand it. I don’t understand how she can forgive someone who hurt her like that.”
“He pushed her away because he was trying to protect her,” I explain, but Lila still shakes her head.
“If he pulled that stuff with me, it would be game over,” she says, her lips pressing in a thin line. “If you forgive someone once, they’ll just hurt you again. Then you’ve got nobody to blame but yourself. She’s being weak and dumb.”
Lila’s face is determined, and it makes me wonder who hurt her, what made her become so brittle and closed off.
“But you’re not this character,” I reason. “She’s never done this before. He’s her first love, her only love. She trusts him, she wants to believe. Don’t you remember how you felt the first time? When you were so wrapped up in someone, you’d do anything to believe the best in him?”
Lila gives me a look. “Trust me, flash forward a year from now, and this guy’ll be up to his old tricks, and my character will be alone again.”
“Maybe, but for now, you need to be true to her innocence.” I shrug. “Dig deep, and find that part of yourself that really believed in happily-ever-after. It’s the only way you’ll be authentic in front of the cameras.”
Lila takes a deep breath. “Thanks,” she says quietly. “I know I haven’t been the easiest to work with, but…I just get so nervous. I know Dash didn’t want me on the movie, I wanted to just keep my head down and make it through.”
I blink, surprised by the apology. “It’s OK. We all want the same thing here, for this movie to be great.”
Her gaze turns curious. “And what about you, how are you holding up?”
“What do you mean?”
“Please.” She arches a perfect eyebrow. “I read the internet, you know. Are you going to be like her, and forgive and forget?” She nods towards the script.
I shift, uncomfortable. “I don’t know he needs forgiving. It was all probably blown out of proportion.”
Lila bites her lip, as if she’s deciding something. Then she leans forward with a sympathetic look. “Look, you seem like a sweet girl,” she says, “but you don’t get it. This is how the game works, and those photos? That’s your boyfriend playing it for all he’s worth.”
“Game?” I frown.
“Fame. Hollywood.” Lila shrugs. “Blake and I, we’re only worth as much as someone’s willing to pay to see us up on screen, and those people reading the gossip magazines, they’re the ones buying the tickets. Getting photographed with Selena was a smart move,” she adds admiringly. “She’s the real deal. Awards, serious movies, everyone loves her right now. A big public relationship with her would drown out the chatter about Blake’s bad reviews.”
My head spins. “But he’s not dating her. We’re together!”
Lila sighs. “For now. But what happens when the movie wraps and he goes back to LA? His agents will want him out every night, award shows and premieres, rubbing shoulders with the A-list. And then he’ll be off filming for months at a time, on the other side of the world. You think he’s going to find time for you then?”
“He’s on his way,” Dash tells me absently, already checking his tablet again. “He called an hour ago, just landed, should be back soon.”
“Oh. OK.”
I back away and go trudge up the dunes. Blake called Dash—but still hasn’t bothered to contact me. Is it because he’s feeling guilty?
Or, worse still, because he just didn’t even think of me.
I gulp back my heartache and go tap lightly on Lila’s trailer.
“Come in!” her voice sounds.
I step inside, curious. Lila’s trailer has been off-limits for weeks to everyone except her assistant and makeup people. Now, I look around. It’s a narrow space, with costumes and makeup on every surface and a surprising number of books scattered around.
Lila is curled up in a corner, her hands wrapped around a steaming mug. “What do you need?” she asks, but she sounds tired instead of scathing.
“Dash wanted to tell you,we’re back on the reunion scene after lunch.”
Lila’s eyes close for a moment, she tilts her head back against the chair. “Dammit,” she murmurs, “I’m not ready for that scene. I don’t have it yet.”
She opens her eyes again, and I’m shocked to see real vulnerability in her expression.
“You’ll be fine,” I reassure her. “I watched you rehearse with Blake. You guys were great.”
“He was great,” Lila corrects me with a wry look. “But me? My last movie was a teen slasher thing, the director spent more time telling me to push my cleavage up than actually act. I’ve been doing the best I can, but… We’re running out of time here, and I want to be good. Not just ‘oh, Lila looks great in that outfit’ good, but real, you know? And this scene is everything, I have to sell it.”
I feel a surge of sympathy for her. I’ve spent all this time assuming she doesn’t care what anyone thinks of her—or that she’s totally oblivious in her pampered little world. But Lila knows exactly what her reputation is, and she desperately wants to prove everyone wrong.
“Well, what are you having problems with?” I ask, taking a seat beside her.
She inhales. “It’s just, this scene. It’s the big reunion, right? He comes and apologizes, and she welcomes him with open arms. But I don’t understand it. I don’t understand how she can forgive someone who hurt her like that.”
“He pushed her away because he was trying to protect her,” I explain, but Lila still shakes her head.
“If he pulled that stuff with me, it would be game over,” she says, her lips pressing in a thin line. “If you forgive someone once, they’ll just hurt you again. Then you’ve got nobody to blame but yourself. She’s being weak and dumb.”
Lila’s face is determined, and it makes me wonder who hurt her, what made her become so brittle and closed off.
“But you’re not this character,” I reason. “She’s never done this before. He’s her first love, her only love. She trusts him, she wants to believe. Don’t you remember how you felt the first time? When you were so wrapped up in someone, you’d do anything to believe the best in him?”
Lila gives me a look. “Trust me, flash forward a year from now, and this guy’ll be up to his old tricks, and my character will be alone again.”
“Maybe, but for now, you need to be true to her innocence.” I shrug. “Dig deep, and find that part of yourself that really believed in happily-ever-after. It’s the only way you’ll be authentic in front of the cameras.”
Lila takes a deep breath. “Thanks,” she says quietly. “I know I haven’t been the easiest to work with, but…I just get so nervous. I know Dash didn’t want me on the movie, I wanted to just keep my head down and make it through.”
I blink, surprised by the apology. “It’s OK. We all want the same thing here, for this movie to be great.”
Her gaze turns curious. “And what about you, how are you holding up?”
“What do you mean?”
“Please.” She arches a perfect eyebrow. “I read the internet, you know. Are you going to be like her, and forgive and forget?” She nods towards the script.
I shift, uncomfortable. “I don’t know he needs forgiving. It was all probably blown out of proportion.”
Lila bites her lip, as if she’s deciding something. Then she leans forward with a sympathetic look. “Look, you seem like a sweet girl,” she says, “but you don’t get it. This is how the game works, and those photos? That’s your boyfriend playing it for all he’s worth.”
“Game?” I frown.
“Fame. Hollywood.” Lila shrugs. “Blake and I, we’re only worth as much as someone’s willing to pay to see us up on screen, and those people reading the gossip magazines, they’re the ones buying the tickets. Getting photographed with Selena was a smart move,” she adds admiringly. “She’s the real deal. Awards, serious movies, everyone loves her right now. A big public relationship with her would drown out the chatter about Blake’s bad reviews.”
My head spins. “But he’s not dating her. We’re together!”
Lila sighs. “For now. But what happens when the movie wraps and he goes back to LA? His agents will want him out every night, award shows and premieres, rubbing shoulders with the A-list. And then he’ll be off filming for months at a time, on the other side of the world. You think he’s going to find time for you then?”
