While I’m left right here, alone.
“We’ll see you back in the city,” Mom adds. “It won’t take long. A couple of days at most. Then we can all sit down together and talk about your future.”
“Mom…” I start in a warning voice.
She smiles. “You know who I talked to last night? Your godmother, Sylvie. We were roommates in college, you know,” she adds. “She lives in Paris now, she married a French artist. She was always the glamorous one.” Mom gives a nostalgic smile, and I brace myself for another speech about how college is where you make the friends that last a lifetime.
But instead, she surprises me. “Sylvia would love to see you. She offered to have you stay with her for a visit if you wanted to travel. Your father and I would be happy to pay for the trip, a graduation present.”
I blink. “That’s…really nice, mom. But I’m moving to LA with Tegan, you know that.”
Mom sighs. “I know, it’s just…” She stops herself. “We can talk about it later with your father. Just think about it, OK sweetheart?”
My father is waving over from by the car. “Come say goodbye.” Mom links her arm through mine. “Then we’ll get out of your hair and let you have some fun!”
*
After my parents take off, Tegan insists on me joining up with her family for dinner, so I take a cab into town and meet them at the restaurant.
“Thank God you’re here.” Tegan grabs me as soon as I step inside. She hustles me to the ladies room. “We need a strategy, Ash is trying to put his foot down about us moving to LA.”
“Why? I thought he’d be happy to have you back home.” I nervously check the mirror, smoothing down my dress, a simple black sheath I hope makes me look older than eighteen. I haven’t seen Blake since Christmas vacation, and I want to look my best.
“He’s less happy about the whole ‘go on tour with a rock band’ part,” Tegan says breezily, touching up her lipgloss. Her phone buzzes with a new call. She looks at the display and lights up. “Connor! You mind if I take this?” she whispers to me. “You go on ahead, I’ll be right there. Just say it’s women’s problems, or something like that.”
I laugh. “They’ve raised you for years, you can’t get away with that.”
“Please.” Tegan smirks. “It never gets old.”
I leave her murmuring sweet nothings to Connor in the bathroom and make my way back out into the restaurant. It’s a cool Moroccan spot, with vibrant furniture and cool Middle Eastern statues decorating the space. The Callahans booked the private back room for dinner, which is divided from the main room with sweeping velvet drapes.
I approach, feeling another kick of excitement. I wonder how Blake is doing. Tegan fills me in on his Hollywood adventures, but I can’t quiz her about him without raising suspicion. I wonder, is he dating someone new? Might I finally have a chance this time?
I would never admit it to anyone, but I’ve been secretly harboring a fantasy all these months. That Blake’s had feelings for me too—but he’s been waiting for graduation before saying anything. He kissed me, after all, in that diner parking lot all those years ago. It had to mean something.
It had to.
And now here I am: eighteen years old, and finally out of school. If something real was ever going to happen between us, it would be now.
Maybe even tonight.
I take a breath, pausing before I push back the drapes and go say hi. But before I can take another step, I hear Blake’s voice talking on the other side.
“Remember to be nice to Zoey, her parents ditched out on her.”
I pause, hidden out of sight.
“Not too nice,” a dry voice says. Ash.
“What do you mean?” Blake asks.
“Aww, c’mon.” I recognize Dex’s throaty voice, scratchy from all his hours singing in the studio. “You know she worships the ground you walk on.”
I freeze, my heart pounding in my ears. I know I should leave, or loudly announce my arrival, but I can’t help leaning closer to listen to the rest of the conversation.
“It’s not like that,” Blake laughs dismissively. “She’s a cool kid, that’s all.”
A kid?
I feel sick, humiliated, my face burning red with shame and embarrassment.
“Just don’t go getting ideas,” Ash tells him.
“Me and Zoey?” Blake’s voice is amused. “No way. We’re just friends.”
“You’re blind, bro,” Dex chuckles. “But hey, whatever you say. Just don’t go getting ideas now that she’s all grown up.”
“What do you take me for?” Blake protests. “Dude. Anyway, you know I’ve got my plate full back in LA. Those women know what they’re doing.”
There’s laughter, and every sound feels like a judgment.
I bite back the humiliated tears flooding my eyes.
What the hell was I thinking? Of course Blake wasn’t going to suddenly reveal he’s been hopelessly in love with me. I don’t even cross his mind—except as some cool kid friend of his sister’s. All these nights I’ve spun fairytale fantasies about our first date, our first real kiss… I couldn’t have been more stupid.
I’m invisible to him. Graduating and moving to LA won’t make any difference. In fact, I realize with growing horror, it’s only going to make it worse. I’ll be seeing him all the time—with his girlfriends. Those real women who know what they’re doing.
“We’ll see you back in the city,” Mom adds. “It won’t take long. A couple of days at most. Then we can all sit down together and talk about your future.”
“Mom…” I start in a warning voice.
She smiles. “You know who I talked to last night? Your godmother, Sylvie. We were roommates in college, you know,” she adds. “She lives in Paris now, she married a French artist. She was always the glamorous one.” Mom gives a nostalgic smile, and I brace myself for another speech about how college is where you make the friends that last a lifetime.
But instead, she surprises me. “Sylvia would love to see you. She offered to have you stay with her for a visit if you wanted to travel. Your father and I would be happy to pay for the trip, a graduation present.”
I blink. “That’s…really nice, mom. But I’m moving to LA with Tegan, you know that.”
Mom sighs. “I know, it’s just…” She stops herself. “We can talk about it later with your father. Just think about it, OK sweetheart?”
My father is waving over from by the car. “Come say goodbye.” Mom links her arm through mine. “Then we’ll get out of your hair and let you have some fun!”
*
After my parents take off, Tegan insists on me joining up with her family for dinner, so I take a cab into town and meet them at the restaurant.
“Thank God you’re here.” Tegan grabs me as soon as I step inside. She hustles me to the ladies room. “We need a strategy, Ash is trying to put his foot down about us moving to LA.”
“Why? I thought he’d be happy to have you back home.” I nervously check the mirror, smoothing down my dress, a simple black sheath I hope makes me look older than eighteen. I haven’t seen Blake since Christmas vacation, and I want to look my best.
“He’s less happy about the whole ‘go on tour with a rock band’ part,” Tegan says breezily, touching up her lipgloss. Her phone buzzes with a new call. She looks at the display and lights up. “Connor! You mind if I take this?” she whispers to me. “You go on ahead, I’ll be right there. Just say it’s women’s problems, or something like that.”
I laugh. “They’ve raised you for years, you can’t get away with that.”
“Please.” Tegan smirks. “It never gets old.”
I leave her murmuring sweet nothings to Connor in the bathroom and make my way back out into the restaurant. It’s a cool Moroccan spot, with vibrant furniture and cool Middle Eastern statues decorating the space. The Callahans booked the private back room for dinner, which is divided from the main room with sweeping velvet drapes.
I approach, feeling another kick of excitement. I wonder how Blake is doing. Tegan fills me in on his Hollywood adventures, but I can’t quiz her about him without raising suspicion. I wonder, is he dating someone new? Might I finally have a chance this time?
I would never admit it to anyone, but I’ve been secretly harboring a fantasy all these months. That Blake’s had feelings for me too—but he’s been waiting for graduation before saying anything. He kissed me, after all, in that diner parking lot all those years ago. It had to mean something.
It had to.
And now here I am: eighteen years old, and finally out of school. If something real was ever going to happen between us, it would be now.
Maybe even tonight.
I take a breath, pausing before I push back the drapes and go say hi. But before I can take another step, I hear Blake’s voice talking on the other side.
“Remember to be nice to Zoey, her parents ditched out on her.”
I pause, hidden out of sight.
“Not too nice,” a dry voice says. Ash.
“What do you mean?” Blake asks.
“Aww, c’mon.” I recognize Dex’s throaty voice, scratchy from all his hours singing in the studio. “You know she worships the ground you walk on.”
I freeze, my heart pounding in my ears. I know I should leave, or loudly announce my arrival, but I can’t help leaning closer to listen to the rest of the conversation.
“It’s not like that,” Blake laughs dismissively. “She’s a cool kid, that’s all.”
A kid?
I feel sick, humiliated, my face burning red with shame and embarrassment.
“Just don’t go getting ideas,” Ash tells him.
“Me and Zoey?” Blake’s voice is amused. “No way. We’re just friends.”
“You’re blind, bro,” Dex chuckles. “But hey, whatever you say. Just don’t go getting ideas now that she’s all grown up.”
“What do you take me for?” Blake protests. “Dude. Anyway, you know I’ve got my plate full back in LA. Those women know what they’re doing.”
There’s laughter, and every sound feels like a judgment.
I bite back the humiliated tears flooding my eyes.
What the hell was I thinking? Of course Blake wasn’t going to suddenly reveal he’s been hopelessly in love with me. I don’t even cross his mind—except as some cool kid friend of his sister’s. All these nights I’ve spun fairytale fantasies about our first date, our first real kiss… I couldn’t have been more stupid.
I’m invisible to him. Graduating and moving to LA won’t make any difference. In fact, I realize with growing horror, it’s only going to make it worse. I’ll be seeing him all the time—with his girlfriends. Those real women who know what they’re doing.
