When I'm Gone
Page 59
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“When he was nineteen, he found out his little sister had gotten her heart broken at school by a boy who only cared about who her daddy was. He asked me if he could go visit her, and I let him go. That boy who broke his little sister’s heart found his truck just out of town, completely immersed in water.”
She stopped and chuckled. “Mase Colt Manning fights for those he loves. It’s what he does. And I know he tried to fight for you. He wanted to conquer your battles. And from the little research I’ve done, I found out he sends a monthly check to a Dr. Astor Munroe that costs more than I care to share. He gets weekly reports from this professor on a Reese Ellis’s progress. He’s fighting your battles. Which means he loves you, too. Problem is, my baby goes big when he does anything. And when he decided to fall in love, he did it in a massive way.”
She stopped and pointed her finger at me. I could see her son now in the determined gaze she leveled on me. How had I not seen it before?
“He needs someone to fight for him now. Because he’s lost himself. He’s a shell of the man I raised. He’s walking through life with no joy, because he tells me he left it with his heart. He left it with you. So if you love him even a tiny smidgen as much as he loves you, then fight for him. He deserves it more than anyone. It’s time someone fought his battle.”
A drop fell on my arm, and I reached up to feel my face wet with tears. My heart was back, and it was twisting in pain listening to Mase’s mother tell me how he needed me. He was hurt because of me.
I didn’t care anymore about the text. Or the other woman. If Mase needed me to fight for him, I would. I’d fight whoever the hell Cordelia was, too. I would fight until I couldn’t fight anymore.
“Where is he?” I asked.
“He’s at home. He thinks I’ve gone to visit my sister in San Antonio.”
“How do I get to him? Where is his home?”
A smile spread across the other woman’s face. “I can take you right to him.”
I closed the lid on the cooler. “Let me go tell my boss I’m leaving. Then I’ll be ready to go.”
“I’m Maryann Colt, by the way,” she said, holding out her hand for me to shake. “And it is a pleasure to meet the woman my son loves. I was worried, but I can see he chose well.”
Her approval sent the first warmth through me that I’d felt in ten weeks, two days, and five hours.
Mase
“OK, I’m a douchebag. I have to ’fess up, because this shit is eating me alive,” Major said, as he stepped into the barn with a saddle thrown over his shoulder.
I continued rubbing down my Appaloosa, Kryptonite, and ignored his comment. I had to get the stallion’s stall cleaned out next, and I didn’t have time to deal with Major and his drama.
“I’m fucking Cordelia. I’ve been fucking her for like two months. She’s really good at sucking my dick. Sorry, but I’m a man, and she came on to me, and I let her blow me. Then I turned her over the sawhorse and fucked her. It was a weak moment. I was horny, and she came strutting in wearing these cutoff jeans shorts that showed part of her ass and a little top that barely covered her tits. She’s hot, man. I asked you if you were still fucking her, and you didn’t answer. I figured it meant she didn’t matter.”
That was why Cordelia had left me the hell alone. I should be giving Major money for this. “Glad she’s servicing you well.” I patted Kryptonite, then turned to lead him over to the stall I’d already cleaned.
“So you don’t care that I’m tapping that ass?” he asked.
“You did me a favor. She wasn’t taking no for an answer.”
Major let out a sigh of relief. “Thank God. I was worried you’ve been in this sour mood because I took your go-to fuck.”
I didn’t even respond to that. There was no point.
“The day she came to get her panties, I was close to fucking her then. She was dressed in a little short skirt, looking like a damn porn star. But I called and texted you, and you didn’t answer. I let her go then. But the next day, when she showed up in the barn, I fucked her. You weren’t coming out of your house that week. It was that week you were in such a bad mood.”
Right on time. He started things up with her when I really needed everyone out of my face. No telling what I would have said to her if she’d started that shit up then. I didn’t want her, but I didn’t see any use in saying anything hurtful. She didn’t deserve that.
“Where were you that weekend, anyway? That time I texted you? You came back here angry at the world. And you’ve been fucked-up ever since. Was it Rosemary Beach? That girl you were going to see?”
I wasn’t talking about this with him.
Wait. What text?
The world around me stopped, and my empty chest suddenly felt heavier than lead. Please, God, no. Don’t let this be what I think it is.
“Major,” I said, almost afraid to ask. Did I want the answer? Could I live with this?
“Yeah?”
“What text?” I asked, before I could stop myself.
“The one I sent you about Cord getting her panties under your bed and asking if you were still fucking her.”
No . . . no . . . no . . .
“Major, I never got that text. When did you send it?”
“I told you—”
“No. I need to know the date and time you sent that motherfucking text!” I shouted. The horses whinnied, but my head was pounding, and the heaviness was taking over my lungs.
She stopped and chuckled. “Mase Colt Manning fights for those he loves. It’s what he does. And I know he tried to fight for you. He wanted to conquer your battles. And from the little research I’ve done, I found out he sends a monthly check to a Dr. Astor Munroe that costs more than I care to share. He gets weekly reports from this professor on a Reese Ellis’s progress. He’s fighting your battles. Which means he loves you, too. Problem is, my baby goes big when he does anything. And when he decided to fall in love, he did it in a massive way.”
She stopped and pointed her finger at me. I could see her son now in the determined gaze she leveled on me. How had I not seen it before?
“He needs someone to fight for him now. Because he’s lost himself. He’s a shell of the man I raised. He’s walking through life with no joy, because he tells me he left it with his heart. He left it with you. So if you love him even a tiny smidgen as much as he loves you, then fight for him. He deserves it more than anyone. It’s time someone fought his battle.”
A drop fell on my arm, and I reached up to feel my face wet with tears. My heart was back, and it was twisting in pain listening to Mase’s mother tell me how he needed me. He was hurt because of me.
I didn’t care anymore about the text. Or the other woman. If Mase needed me to fight for him, I would. I’d fight whoever the hell Cordelia was, too. I would fight until I couldn’t fight anymore.
“Where is he?” I asked.
“He’s at home. He thinks I’ve gone to visit my sister in San Antonio.”
“How do I get to him? Where is his home?”
A smile spread across the other woman’s face. “I can take you right to him.”
I closed the lid on the cooler. “Let me go tell my boss I’m leaving. Then I’ll be ready to go.”
“I’m Maryann Colt, by the way,” she said, holding out her hand for me to shake. “And it is a pleasure to meet the woman my son loves. I was worried, but I can see he chose well.”
Her approval sent the first warmth through me that I’d felt in ten weeks, two days, and five hours.
Mase
“OK, I’m a douchebag. I have to ’fess up, because this shit is eating me alive,” Major said, as he stepped into the barn with a saddle thrown over his shoulder.
I continued rubbing down my Appaloosa, Kryptonite, and ignored his comment. I had to get the stallion’s stall cleaned out next, and I didn’t have time to deal with Major and his drama.
“I’m fucking Cordelia. I’ve been fucking her for like two months. She’s really good at sucking my dick. Sorry, but I’m a man, and she came on to me, and I let her blow me. Then I turned her over the sawhorse and fucked her. It was a weak moment. I was horny, and she came strutting in wearing these cutoff jeans shorts that showed part of her ass and a little top that barely covered her tits. She’s hot, man. I asked you if you were still fucking her, and you didn’t answer. I figured it meant she didn’t matter.”
That was why Cordelia had left me the hell alone. I should be giving Major money for this. “Glad she’s servicing you well.” I patted Kryptonite, then turned to lead him over to the stall I’d already cleaned.
“So you don’t care that I’m tapping that ass?” he asked.
“You did me a favor. She wasn’t taking no for an answer.”
Major let out a sigh of relief. “Thank God. I was worried you’ve been in this sour mood because I took your go-to fuck.”
I didn’t even respond to that. There was no point.
“The day she came to get her panties, I was close to fucking her then. She was dressed in a little short skirt, looking like a damn porn star. But I called and texted you, and you didn’t answer. I let her go then. But the next day, when she showed up in the barn, I fucked her. You weren’t coming out of your house that week. It was that week you were in such a bad mood.”
Right on time. He started things up with her when I really needed everyone out of my face. No telling what I would have said to her if she’d started that shit up then. I didn’t want her, but I didn’t see any use in saying anything hurtful. She didn’t deserve that.
“Where were you that weekend, anyway? That time I texted you? You came back here angry at the world. And you’ve been fucked-up ever since. Was it Rosemary Beach? That girl you were going to see?”
I wasn’t talking about this with him.
Wait. What text?
The world around me stopped, and my empty chest suddenly felt heavier than lead. Please, God, no. Don’t let this be what I think it is.
“Major,” I said, almost afraid to ask. Did I want the answer? Could I live with this?
“Yeah?”
“What text?” I asked, before I could stop myself.
“The one I sent you about Cord getting her panties under your bed and asking if you were still fucking her.”
No . . . no . . . no . . .
“Major, I never got that text. When did you send it?”
“I told you—”
“No. I need to know the date and time you sent that motherfucking text!” I shouted. The horses whinnied, but my head was pounding, and the heaviness was taking over my lungs.
