When I'm Gone
Page 60
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“Shit, dude. I’ll check. Calm down,” he grumbled, pulling out his phone and scrolling through the text messages.
“Uh . . . June 29 at nine a.m. Called twice before that, too. No answer or response.”
I dropped the supplies from my hands and walked out the door. I kept walking. I just fucking walked. I walked until I was as far away from Major as I could get, until my house vanished from sight.
Then I tilted my head back and let it all out in an angry roar.
She’d seen that text. That was what had sent her to the corner, looking at me as if she had shattered. A fucking text had taken her from me.
Reese
Maryann Colt had talked the whole way on the drive from the airport. She had slept for the entire flight. I hadn’t been able to do anything but stare out the window. My thoughts had been on Mase and the boy she’d described. He sounded exactly like the man I had fallen in love with. One text had made me doubt everything. All he had done to show me how much he loved me, and I hadn’t even let him explain.
I hadn’t been a charity case. He wasn’t trying to fix me. He was fighting my battles because he loved me.
He didn’t even know about the text. I had deleted it before putting his phone back. He had no idea what had changed that morning. I was now going to show up at his house unannounced. I knew that just because his mother said he wanted me, that didn’t mean I wouldn’t have to fight for him.
He could have moved on in other ways. Cordelia could be keeping him warm at night. I wouldn’t think about that.
I listened to Maryann talk instead. I had to focus on her words, not on what I could be facing soon. But no matter what it was, I would fight. He had fought for me once. I was going to fight for him now.
“His house is up the road a bit. He might be in bed by now. It’s late, and he’s been going straight to sleep after dinner. But knock on the window to the left side of the house if he doesn’t open the door. I’m gonna let you walk from here. I don’t want him to see my truck. It’s all on you now. You go show my boy he’s worth fighting for.”
I opened the truck door and jumped down.
Maryann pointed to the dirt road lit by moonlight right behind her house. “Follow that trail. It’ll take you right to his door.”
I started to walk that way, then stopped and glanced back at her. I caught her wiping her eyes. “Thank you,” I said. “I know you did it for him. But you saved me, too.”
I didn’t wait for her response. I headed up the hill toward the rooftop I could barely see in the distance. The metal roof caught the moon’s rays, and I followed them. My heart was racing for the first time in months. I was going to see him. I was going to see Mase.
If Cordelia was there, I had to keep my calm and not claw her eyes out. But the closer I got to his cabin, the more I realized I couldn’t not attack her if she was touching him. If he had touched her.
I was going to make myself sick. I couldn’t think about that.
There was a black truck similar to the silver one his mother drove parked outside. It was the only vehicle, and I wanted to sigh in relief. I could fight the Cordelia battle later. Right now, I was going to focus on getting him to forgive me.
I stepped up onto the front porch and stopped. Now that I was here without Maryann coaching me, I was frozen in fear. But I had come this far. Flown for the first time in my life and left the only safe place I’d ever known to come here. To face a man I had thrown out of my life.
The last time I’d heard his voice, he’d been shouting through my door that he loved me.
Did he still? Had I waited too long?
The door swung open before I even got close enough to knock, revealing a shirtless Mase. The shadows covered his face, but I knew that chest. I also knew those boxer briefs. I had to say something. My entire body seemed to freeze up on me. “I came to fight for you,” I blurted out, and then I burst into tears.
Mase
Reese was here. At my house. On my porch. And she was crying.
I stepped out into the darkness, still wondering if this was a dream and if I had somehow managed to get some sleep tonight after all.
“Reese?” I asked, afraid that if I touched her, I’d wake up.
“I’m sorry. I . . . seeing you . . . I was going to be strong and tell you I love you and I messed up and I love you and—”
Fuck the dream. I reached for her and pulled her into my arms.
She was here. She was here. She was here.
Her arms wrapped around me and held on tightly. Just the way I remembered. The sweet cinnamon met my nose, and I knew my imagination wasn’t that good. I’d tried to imagine her smell more than once and couldn’t. This was my Reese.
“I love you. I won’t leave. I’m here to make you take me back. I’m empty without you.” She sobbed in my arms.
Was she trying to persuade me to let her stay with me? Did she seriously think she had to beg for me to keep her?
“Reese, I—”
She pulled back and looked up at me with wide, panicked eyes. “No. Don’t say anything. Just listen to me. I was wrong. You’re worth fighting for. I was . . . I am a mess. I have to overcome a lot, but I will make it worth it. I will love you more than she ever could. More than anyone ever could. I’ll spend the rest of my life proving to you that I’m worth the hassle. I won’t let a day go by without showing you how much I love you. I’ll move here. I’ll get a place and a job. I will cook you meals, and I’ll—”
“Uh . . . June 29 at nine a.m. Called twice before that, too. No answer or response.”
I dropped the supplies from my hands and walked out the door. I kept walking. I just fucking walked. I walked until I was as far away from Major as I could get, until my house vanished from sight.
Then I tilted my head back and let it all out in an angry roar.
She’d seen that text. That was what had sent her to the corner, looking at me as if she had shattered. A fucking text had taken her from me.
Reese
Maryann Colt had talked the whole way on the drive from the airport. She had slept for the entire flight. I hadn’t been able to do anything but stare out the window. My thoughts had been on Mase and the boy she’d described. He sounded exactly like the man I had fallen in love with. One text had made me doubt everything. All he had done to show me how much he loved me, and I hadn’t even let him explain.
I hadn’t been a charity case. He wasn’t trying to fix me. He was fighting my battles because he loved me.
He didn’t even know about the text. I had deleted it before putting his phone back. He had no idea what had changed that morning. I was now going to show up at his house unannounced. I knew that just because his mother said he wanted me, that didn’t mean I wouldn’t have to fight for him.
He could have moved on in other ways. Cordelia could be keeping him warm at night. I wouldn’t think about that.
I listened to Maryann talk instead. I had to focus on her words, not on what I could be facing soon. But no matter what it was, I would fight. He had fought for me once. I was going to fight for him now.
“His house is up the road a bit. He might be in bed by now. It’s late, and he’s been going straight to sleep after dinner. But knock on the window to the left side of the house if he doesn’t open the door. I’m gonna let you walk from here. I don’t want him to see my truck. It’s all on you now. You go show my boy he’s worth fighting for.”
I opened the truck door and jumped down.
Maryann pointed to the dirt road lit by moonlight right behind her house. “Follow that trail. It’ll take you right to his door.”
I started to walk that way, then stopped and glanced back at her. I caught her wiping her eyes. “Thank you,” I said. “I know you did it for him. But you saved me, too.”
I didn’t wait for her response. I headed up the hill toward the rooftop I could barely see in the distance. The metal roof caught the moon’s rays, and I followed them. My heart was racing for the first time in months. I was going to see him. I was going to see Mase.
If Cordelia was there, I had to keep my calm and not claw her eyes out. But the closer I got to his cabin, the more I realized I couldn’t not attack her if she was touching him. If he had touched her.
I was going to make myself sick. I couldn’t think about that.
There was a black truck similar to the silver one his mother drove parked outside. It was the only vehicle, and I wanted to sigh in relief. I could fight the Cordelia battle later. Right now, I was going to focus on getting him to forgive me.
I stepped up onto the front porch and stopped. Now that I was here without Maryann coaching me, I was frozen in fear. But I had come this far. Flown for the first time in my life and left the only safe place I’d ever known to come here. To face a man I had thrown out of my life.
The last time I’d heard his voice, he’d been shouting through my door that he loved me.
Did he still? Had I waited too long?
The door swung open before I even got close enough to knock, revealing a shirtless Mase. The shadows covered his face, but I knew that chest. I also knew those boxer briefs. I had to say something. My entire body seemed to freeze up on me. “I came to fight for you,” I blurted out, and then I burst into tears.
Mase
Reese was here. At my house. On my porch. And she was crying.
I stepped out into the darkness, still wondering if this was a dream and if I had somehow managed to get some sleep tonight after all.
“Reese?” I asked, afraid that if I touched her, I’d wake up.
“I’m sorry. I . . . seeing you . . . I was going to be strong and tell you I love you and I messed up and I love you and—”
Fuck the dream. I reached for her and pulled her into my arms.
She was here. She was here. She was here.
Her arms wrapped around me and held on tightly. Just the way I remembered. The sweet cinnamon met my nose, and I knew my imagination wasn’t that good. I’d tried to imagine her smell more than once and couldn’t. This was my Reese.
“I love you. I won’t leave. I’m here to make you take me back. I’m empty without you.” She sobbed in my arms.
Was she trying to persuade me to let her stay with me? Did she seriously think she had to beg for me to keep her?
“Reese, I—”
She pulled back and looked up at me with wide, panicked eyes. “No. Don’t say anything. Just listen to me. I was wrong. You’re worth fighting for. I was . . . I am a mess. I have to overcome a lot, but I will make it worth it. I will love you more than she ever could. More than anyone ever could. I’ll spend the rest of my life proving to you that I’m worth the hassle. I won’t let a day go by without showing you how much I love you. I’ll move here. I’ll get a place and a job. I will cook you meals, and I’ll—”
