When I'm Gone
Page 61
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I covered her mouth with mine and stopped her adorable, rambling argument. Her surprised cry was followed by a whimper, and she kissed me like she needed the taste of me to live. Her sweetness seeped into me, as those plump lips pressed against mine. I cupped her face and pulled her back so that I could look into her eyes.
They were still watery from her instant breakdown when she saw me. But they were beautiful. My beautiful baby-blues. The ones that I dreamed about. The ones that would always hold me.
“I’m worth fighting for?” I asked, wanting to hear her say that one more time. She had looked so damn determined when she’d said it the first time.
“Yes!” she said, the fierceness coming back.
“And who do you think you have to fight against for me?”
Pain flickered in her eyes. I didn’t want that. I started to assure her that there was no one, but she spoke first. “Anyone . . . I’ll fight anyone,” she said finally.
She was talking about Cordelia. That motherfucking text.
“Baby. From the moment those lips of yours touched mine, I was yours. No, scratch that. From the moment I walked out of the bedroom and saw your sweet ass in the air and heard you singing off key, I was yours. No one else. Ever. Before you, yes, there were others. And there was one girl I had a ‘friends with benefits’ relationship with. Nothing else. But the moment you walked into my life, that ended. She didn’t take it well, and she tried to get me to change my mind. But all I saw, all my heart saw, was you. No one else.”
“Cordelia,” she said softly.
“Yes. But the text you saw from Major was because I came home from work to find her in my bed. I ordered her out and threatened to call my momma if she didn’t get out of my bed. I even washed my sheets to get rid of her smell. Hell, I’ve even bought a new mattress since then and new sheets. I didn’t want to sleep on anything that had anyone but you on it. Ever.”
“She left her panties that day,” she said softly, her eyes shining with new tears. “That was what the text meant.”
I nodded. I tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear. “If I’d known that was what had you looking at me like I was a monster, I would have stayed and fought for you. But I thought it was the past, the demons that haunt you. I thought I had pushed too hard and you needed space.” I stopped and took a deep breath. “I thought you would call. I waited. I was waiting. I was going to wait forever.”
She puckered up again, and I started kissing her face. I didn’t want her to cry. I had her here. With me.
“I’m not letting you go back. You’re staying with me. I can’t let you leave me. I’ll go crazy,” I told her, as I kissed her cheeks and nose, then pressed a chaste kiss to her mouth.
“I don’t want to leave,” she said.
God, I loved her. “Come inside,” I said, slipping my hand over hers and leading her into the house. “Lie down with me. I want to hold you.”
Reese stopped, and I looked back at her. “No. Tonight I want to hold you,” she said, her face once again determined.
“If that’s what you want,” I agreed.
I took off her boots and pulled down her jeans. She let me undress her without question. When I unhooked her bra, I didn’t touch or look, I just grabbed my discarded T-shirt and slipped it over her head.
She buried her nose in it and inhaled, wrapping her arms tightly around herself. I loved it when she cuddled with my clothing as if it were me.
Then she crawled up onto my new king-size bed and put her back against the headboard and held out her arms to me.
Emotion battling with amusement, I was able to keep the tears burning my eyes from breaking free. I moved over her and laid my head against her chest so I could listen to her heartbeat.
She ran her fingers through my hair as we lay there like that. I wrapped my arms around her waist and basked in her scent. The sound of her heart sped up every time I slid my hand down toward her bottom, then back up again.
“Every step I’ve taken in life has led me to you,” she said in a whisper. “And because I’m here now, I don’t regret one thing. For every bad thing that happened, I’ve been rewarded something even more beautiful than all of the bad in return. You made it worth it. You’re my gift in life. I lived through the bad and survived. My reward was that God gave me you.”
I no longer cared about holding back tears.
I cried in her arms.
Reese
Today we were both going back to Rosemary Beach to pack up my things. Mase hadn’t been OK with me going anywhere without him, so for two days, I wore clothes that belonged to Harlow from when she had stayed at his house a couple of years ago. They were all too short and snug, but I managed to make do.
However, Mase wouldn’t let me out of the house dressed in her clothing. He was worried about someone looking at me. Major had seen me the first morning in a pair of Harlow’s shorts and a tank top and offered Mase his left nut for me. Mase had punched him in the face. It had been a fiasco.
When Maryann had come up to the house, upset and asking Mase why he had broken Major’s nose, he told her, and she’d started laughing. Then she’d turned right around and left.
I woke up to an empty bed that morning, which, after the way Mase had held me in a vise grip the past two nights, surprised me. I got up and walked toward the bathroom to hear the shower running and Mase singing. Unlike my singing, his was beautiful. His voice had a raspy edge to it, but it flowed in a way that gave me goose bumps. I’d never heard him sing before. With a father like Kiro, it only made sense that he had a voice to match his gene pool.
They were still watery from her instant breakdown when she saw me. But they were beautiful. My beautiful baby-blues. The ones that I dreamed about. The ones that would always hold me.
“I’m worth fighting for?” I asked, wanting to hear her say that one more time. She had looked so damn determined when she’d said it the first time.
“Yes!” she said, the fierceness coming back.
“And who do you think you have to fight against for me?”
Pain flickered in her eyes. I didn’t want that. I started to assure her that there was no one, but she spoke first. “Anyone . . . I’ll fight anyone,” she said finally.
She was talking about Cordelia. That motherfucking text.
“Baby. From the moment those lips of yours touched mine, I was yours. No, scratch that. From the moment I walked out of the bedroom and saw your sweet ass in the air and heard you singing off key, I was yours. No one else. Ever. Before you, yes, there were others. And there was one girl I had a ‘friends with benefits’ relationship with. Nothing else. But the moment you walked into my life, that ended. She didn’t take it well, and she tried to get me to change my mind. But all I saw, all my heart saw, was you. No one else.”
“Cordelia,” she said softly.
“Yes. But the text you saw from Major was because I came home from work to find her in my bed. I ordered her out and threatened to call my momma if she didn’t get out of my bed. I even washed my sheets to get rid of her smell. Hell, I’ve even bought a new mattress since then and new sheets. I didn’t want to sleep on anything that had anyone but you on it. Ever.”
“She left her panties that day,” she said softly, her eyes shining with new tears. “That was what the text meant.”
I nodded. I tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear. “If I’d known that was what had you looking at me like I was a monster, I would have stayed and fought for you. But I thought it was the past, the demons that haunt you. I thought I had pushed too hard and you needed space.” I stopped and took a deep breath. “I thought you would call. I waited. I was waiting. I was going to wait forever.”
She puckered up again, and I started kissing her face. I didn’t want her to cry. I had her here. With me.
“I’m not letting you go back. You’re staying with me. I can’t let you leave me. I’ll go crazy,” I told her, as I kissed her cheeks and nose, then pressed a chaste kiss to her mouth.
“I don’t want to leave,” she said.
God, I loved her. “Come inside,” I said, slipping my hand over hers and leading her into the house. “Lie down with me. I want to hold you.”
Reese stopped, and I looked back at her. “No. Tonight I want to hold you,” she said, her face once again determined.
“If that’s what you want,” I agreed.
I took off her boots and pulled down her jeans. She let me undress her without question. When I unhooked her bra, I didn’t touch or look, I just grabbed my discarded T-shirt and slipped it over her head.
She buried her nose in it and inhaled, wrapping her arms tightly around herself. I loved it when she cuddled with my clothing as if it were me.
Then she crawled up onto my new king-size bed and put her back against the headboard and held out her arms to me.
Emotion battling with amusement, I was able to keep the tears burning my eyes from breaking free. I moved over her and laid my head against her chest so I could listen to her heartbeat.
She ran her fingers through my hair as we lay there like that. I wrapped my arms around her waist and basked in her scent. The sound of her heart sped up every time I slid my hand down toward her bottom, then back up again.
“Every step I’ve taken in life has led me to you,” she said in a whisper. “And because I’m here now, I don’t regret one thing. For every bad thing that happened, I’ve been rewarded something even more beautiful than all of the bad in return. You made it worth it. You’re my gift in life. I lived through the bad and survived. My reward was that God gave me you.”
I no longer cared about holding back tears.
I cried in her arms.
Reese
Today we were both going back to Rosemary Beach to pack up my things. Mase hadn’t been OK with me going anywhere without him, so for two days, I wore clothes that belonged to Harlow from when she had stayed at his house a couple of years ago. They were all too short and snug, but I managed to make do.
However, Mase wouldn’t let me out of the house dressed in her clothing. He was worried about someone looking at me. Major had seen me the first morning in a pair of Harlow’s shorts and a tank top and offered Mase his left nut for me. Mase had punched him in the face. It had been a fiasco.
When Maryann had come up to the house, upset and asking Mase why he had broken Major’s nose, he told her, and she’d started laughing. Then she’d turned right around and left.
I woke up to an empty bed that morning, which, after the way Mase had held me in a vise grip the past two nights, surprised me. I got up and walked toward the bathroom to hear the shower running and Mase singing. Unlike my singing, his was beautiful. His voice had a raspy edge to it, but it flowed in a way that gave me goose bumps. I’d never heard him sing before. With a father like Kiro, it only made sense that he had a voice to match his gene pool.
