I feel him near before I see that he is helping clean up the condiments. He grabs both trays and stands as I do before placing them on the table. Sparing a glance, I find that he is watching me, his face as red as mine. His lips are in a straight line, and I’m not sure what his expression means. There is no reason for him to be mad, maybe shocked, but I don’t know. I hate the way I feel. I hate that all eyes are on me. It’s like I have a huge, red V on my chest that everyone is staring at. That I’m some kind of fucking alien. Blah, it’s mortifying!
“Well, this is awkward,” I mutter, and Fiona laughs.
“What is?”
I swear the look I give her could kill her on the spot. She laughs again and before I could throw something at her, Declan says, “Can I please talk with you, Amberlyn?”
Ugh, not what I want to do. I send Fiona a pleading look that she just smiles at. “I wonder what he wants?”
“I’m gonna kill you,” I say. This time, I do throw a lemon at her. That she, of course, dodges. I swear, the next time she is in an embarrassing situation, I’m going to make it ten times worse. I know she is probably trying to play this off as not a big deal, but the tension in the room can be cut with a knife. “Sure,” I say, still without looking at Declan. I then, grudgingly, pass by him without another word. He follows me through the pub and out the side door.
Once outside, the afternoon sun warms my face as I lean against the wall, kicking at the ground as Declan shuts the door. Biting into my lip, I chance another glance to see that he is still watching me. His eyes are dark and set on me, leaving me breathless. Breaking away from his gaze, my eyes fall to where he is holding a can of Goober.
“Why are you holding a can of Goober?” I ask.
At the same time, he asks, “You’re a virgin?”
Both of us look away as I let out a long breath. This is so freaking awkward, and I hate that. Looking back at him, he meets my gaze and I smile. “I told you I never really had time to date or anything like that.”
“I know but you never mentioned that you were a virgin.”
“So what, you thought I slept around?”
“Well yeah,” he blurts out, running his hand through his hair.
“Wow, thanks,” I mutter, rolling my eyes.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean it that way. I’m a little shocked here. I wish you would have told me.”
“I didn’t think it mattered,” I say with a shrug. “It doesn’t matter.”
“Yes it does, to me it does. I haven’t met a virgin since secondary school.”
I let out a breath as I look away. “Oh my God, you make me sound like a rare gem. It’s not a big deal. Lots of people are virgins.”
“You are a rare gem, Amberlyn, to me you are,” he says, taking a step towards me. “And you being a virgin doesn’t change anything between us, but I still wish you would have told me. I wouldn’t have done what I did last night. I would have waited.”
I glance back up at him. “Why? It was amazing. See, this is why I didn’t tell you. I didn’t want you to be weird about it. You say it doesn’t change anything between us but I bet you before you knew, you were ready to bang me. Now that you know, you want to be all proper and gentlemanly about it, and I still just want to bang you. Just because I haven’t done it, doesn’t mean I don’t want too. I do. It’s just I never had time and I also wanted it to be with someone I care for, love even.”
I let out a long breath and suck one back in. When his hand comes up to my face, gently tipping it back so our gaze meets, I look up to see that his mouth is curling up at the side. God, he is so beautiful. “I still want to bang you, Amberlyn.”
My face breaks in a grin as I let out a small laugh. “Nice to know.”
“But like you, I want your first time to be with someone you love.”
Oh hell, I almost said it, I did, but thankfully, before I could utter those three words, Declan says, “I want that to be me, of course, but that takes time. This is new; we are new. We are testing the waters, and they are pretty great, I think, so let’s act as if this never happened. Let’s just let things happen, okay?”
“You’re the one that made a big deal about it.”
His mouth breaks in a grin as he says, “It took me by surprise, that’s all, but I’m good now. All I care about is being with you.”
“Me too,” I say, leaning into him.
“So we’ll forget this all, just be us.”
I nod. “That sounds great.”
“Grand, I think so, too,” he whispers, and it’s safe to say that Declan’s accent is the hottest thing ever. It’s been almost two months of knowing him and still, to this day, the certain things he says can bring me to my knees. He is just so freaking hot. As he leans his head against mine, we share a smile and I can’t help but think of those three words. He wants to wait though, which means he doesn’t feel the same as me. Yet.
Kissing my nose, he smiles as he says, “Can I be honest?”
I smile. “Of course.”
“I like that you want to bang me,” he admits, giving me a goofy grin that makes my insides flip.
A girly giggle escapes my lips before I say, “Well, after last night, how can I not? I can’t wait to have your hands all over me.”
His eyes darken as he leans into me. With a low groan, he says, “You test my control, Amberlyn. I’m usually so in control of everything but with you, I’m a mess.”
Reaching up, I take a hold of his shirt and yank him towards me. “Good, I like you that way.”
I seal my mouth on his and he kisses me earnestly, causing my heart to feel as if it is coming out of my chest. Moving my tongue with his, I run my hands up his chest to his neck, where I wrap my arms around him, bringing him down closer. When we finally part, only for air, I smile. He grins back, kissing the side of my mouth before pulling back some to hold up the can of Goober. I squeal as I take it, and then ask, “Where did you get it?”
“I ordered it for you. I have a whole case at the house. All for you.”
My heart tightens in my chest as I open the jar and scoop it on my finger, plopping it in my mouth. I smile as the flavors explode on my tongue. Ugh, Goober, how I’ve missed you. “God, I love this stuff. My dad and I were obsessed with it. My mom thought it was disgusting.”
“Well, this is awkward,” I mutter, and Fiona laughs.
“What is?”
I swear the look I give her could kill her on the spot. She laughs again and before I could throw something at her, Declan says, “Can I please talk with you, Amberlyn?”
Ugh, not what I want to do. I send Fiona a pleading look that she just smiles at. “I wonder what he wants?”
“I’m gonna kill you,” I say. This time, I do throw a lemon at her. That she, of course, dodges. I swear, the next time she is in an embarrassing situation, I’m going to make it ten times worse. I know she is probably trying to play this off as not a big deal, but the tension in the room can be cut with a knife. “Sure,” I say, still without looking at Declan. I then, grudgingly, pass by him without another word. He follows me through the pub and out the side door.
Once outside, the afternoon sun warms my face as I lean against the wall, kicking at the ground as Declan shuts the door. Biting into my lip, I chance another glance to see that he is still watching me. His eyes are dark and set on me, leaving me breathless. Breaking away from his gaze, my eyes fall to where he is holding a can of Goober.
“Why are you holding a can of Goober?” I ask.
At the same time, he asks, “You’re a virgin?”
Both of us look away as I let out a long breath. This is so freaking awkward, and I hate that. Looking back at him, he meets my gaze and I smile. “I told you I never really had time to date or anything like that.”
“I know but you never mentioned that you were a virgin.”
“So what, you thought I slept around?”
“Well yeah,” he blurts out, running his hand through his hair.
“Wow, thanks,” I mutter, rolling my eyes.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean it that way. I’m a little shocked here. I wish you would have told me.”
“I didn’t think it mattered,” I say with a shrug. “It doesn’t matter.”
“Yes it does, to me it does. I haven’t met a virgin since secondary school.”
I let out a breath as I look away. “Oh my God, you make me sound like a rare gem. It’s not a big deal. Lots of people are virgins.”
“You are a rare gem, Amberlyn, to me you are,” he says, taking a step towards me. “And you being a virgin doesn’t change anything between us, but I still wish you would have told me. I wouldn’t have done what I did last night. I would have waited.”
I glance back up at him. “Why? It was amazing. See, this is why I didn’t tell you. I didn’t want you to be weird about it. You say it doesn’t change anything between us but I bet you before you knew, you were ready to bang me. Now that you know, you want to be all proper and gentlemanly about it, and I still just want to bang you. Just because I haven’t done it, doesn’t mean I don’t want too. I do. It’s just I never had time and I also wanted it to be with someone I care for, love even.”
I let out a long breath and suck one back in. When his hand comes up to my face, gently tipping it back so our gaze meets, I look up to see that his mouth is curling up at the side. God, he is so beautiful. “I still want to bang you, Amberlyn.”
My face breaks in a grin as I let out a small laugh. “Nice to know.”
“But like you, I want your first time to be with someone you love.”
Oh hell, I almost said it, I did, but thankfully, before I could utter those three words, Declan says, “I want that to be me, of course, but that takes time. This is new; we are new. We are testing the waters, and they are pretty great, I think, so let’s act as if this never happened. Let’s just let things happen, okay?”
“You’re the one that made a big deal about it.”
His mouth breaks in a grin as he says, “It took me by surprise, that’s all, but I’m good now. All I care about is being with you.”
“Me too,” I say, leaning into him.
“So we’ll forget this all, just be us.”
I nod. “That sounds great.”
“Grand, I think so, too,” he whispers, and it’s safe to say that Declan’s accent is the hottest thing ever. It’s been almost two months of knowing him and still, to this day, the certain things he says can bring me to my knees. He is just so freaking hot. As he leans his head against mine, we share a smile and I can’t help but think of those three words. He wants to wait though, which means he doesn’t feel the same as me. Yet.
Kissing my nose, he smiles as he says, “Can I be honest?”
I smile. “Of course.”
“I like that you want to bang me,” he admits, giving me a goofy grin that makes my insides flip.
A girly giggle escapes my lips before I say, “Well, after last night, how can I not? I can’t wait to have your hands all over me.”
His eyes darken as he leans into me. With a low groan, he says, “You test my control, Amberlyn. I’m usually so in control of everything but with you, I’m a mess.”
Reaching up, I take a hold of his shirt and yank him towards me. “Good, I like you that way.”
I seal my mouth on his and he kisses me earnestly, causing my heart to feel as if it is coming out of my chest. Moving my tongue with his, I run my hands up his chest to his neck, where I wrap my arms around him, bringing him down closer. When we finally part, only for air, I smile. He grins back, kissing the side of my mouth before pulling back some to hold up the can of Goober. I squeal as I take it, and then ask, “Where did you get it?”
“I ordered it for you. I have a whole case at the house. All for you.”
My heart tightens in my chest as I open the jar and scoop it on my finger, plopping it in my mouth. I smile as the flavors explode on my tongue. Ugh, Goober, how I’ve missed you. “God, I love this stuff. My dad and I were obsessed with it. My mom thought it was disgusting.”
