With All My Soul
Page 93
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I got lost in his eyes. I got lost in the colors and the emotions, and I stayed lost there as long as I could, because those things he was showing me...those were real. His eyes were truly the windows to his soul, and those colors...they were Tod. Seeing them meant knowing him, and I knew that no one else had ever had free access to his soul. Not even Levi, whod reaped it not once, but twice.
Tod was mine, just as much as I was his. And I was his. Completely.
My heart thundered in my chest with a sudden, stunning terror. My hands fell away from him. If Avari ever figured out how much Tod truly meant to me, he would stop at nothing to have him. To hurt him.
Ira would do the same, surely, if he would hurt Sabine just to hurt me.
There were still things I hadnt considered. Things I needed to account for...
Kay? Tod sat up, and his fingers trailed down my side. Whats wrong?
Nothing. I... I swallowed thickly, then met his gaze again. Can you hand me my drink? My mouth was suddenly so dry I could hardly speak.
While I sipped from my straw, he sipped from his.
Tod, whats the worst thing youve ever done for the right reason?
He grinned, and I loved that he could do thatthat he could remind me of good times in the middle of the worst times wed ever experienced. You may remember that I kissed my brothers girlfriend.
The way I remember it, she kissed you.
I kissed her back. A lot. Things escalated from there. Drama. Heartbreak. It was quite the scandal.
I let my fingers trail down his bare arm while he took another drink, then he set both cups on the fridge again. Do you ever regret it?
No. Not even for a second. Kissing you back may have been the wrong thing to do, but I did it for the right reason. I dont ever want you to doubt that. This... He put one hand over my heart, and I could tell from the sudden swell of color in his eyes that he could feel it beating. Us... Were right. This is the way things are supposed to be, Kaylee. Dont tell me you cant feel that. I can see it in your eyes.
I know. Do you think...? I mean, it sounds stupid, but your mom said it was true for my parents.... I blinked and could almost feel myself blush. Do you think well ever be soul mates?
I think we already are. The blues in his eyes spun so fast they made me dizzy. I remember the exact moment you took a piece of my soul. I felt it.
I held my breath, which, as it turns out, is completely different than simply ceasing to breathe. When? The word carried no sound, yet he heard it.
When I found you on your bed, bleeding out. I knew you were going to die. Id been trying toprepare myself for it, but when the moment came, I couldnt let you go. I knew I couldnt stop it, but at the same time I knew that if you died, youd have to take me with you, because I couldnt be here without you.
My heart beat so hard my entire body shook with each thump.
Thats why Levi was able to get me back, Kaylee. Did Madeline tell you?
I shook my head. I didnt quite understand what he was trying to say, but I could feel the reality of it slipping into place inside me, like all great, irrefutable truths.
He turned in my soul after he reaped it, but they couldnt process it because it wasnt whole. Id given part of it to you. He was on his way to untangle the rest of my soul from yours when Madeline found him and asked for an audience with you. Then, when you told him to bring me back, he knew that might actually be possible, because you still had some of my soul.
Tears filled my eyes and spilled down my cheeks.
So...Im yours, Kaylee. Every single part of me, from the hands that itch to touch you to the bit of my soul that you carry. Nothing can ever change that.
I held him so tightly my arms ached and I was sure I must have been bruising him, but he didnt complain. I love you so much, and sometimes that scares the crap out of me.
Me, too. Have I told you that youre the scariest thing Ive ever seen?
I blinked in surprise. Well, thats a...nontraditional compliment. Thanks?
He laughed. Okay, that was bad phrasing, but its the truth. He ran his thumb over my lower lip, and the swirling in his irises swelled with the touch and with the thoughts behind it. This is the most frighteningly beautiful mouth I have ever seen. The most terrifyingly delicious lips I have ever tasted. These lips make me hungry for more every time I kiss them. This mouth, and the tongue inside it...they speak words I hang on to. Words that make me want to be a better man. Words I would gladly build my entire afterlife around. But they also say things that terrify me. Things that send chills all the way to my heart. They speak about dangers I cant prevent. Threats I cant always see. They threaten to do things that could get you hurt, when every single beat of my heart tells me that I need to protect you.
I stared at him, stunned, and he leaned in to kiss me again, softly. Almost chastely.
This mouth scares the afterlife right out of me, Kaylee, but then every time I see these lips, or feel them, or taste them, I remember exactly why Im still here. Exactly why Ill still be here a hundred years from now. A thousand, if there are that many years in the cards for us.
Tod, I
Tod was mine, just as much as I was his. And I was his. Completely.
My heart thundered in my chest with a sudden, stunning terror. My hands fell away from him. If Avari ever figured out how much Tod truly meant to me, he would stop at nothing to have him. To hurt him.
Ira would do the same, surely, if he would hurt Sabine just to hurt me.
There were still things I hadnt considered. Things I needed to account for...
Kay? Tod sat up, and his fingers trailed down my side. Whats wrong?
Nothing. I... I swallowed thickly, then met his gaze again. Can you hand me my drink? My mouth was suddenly so dry I could hardly speak.
While I sipped from my straw, he sipped from his.
Tod, whats the worst thing youve ever done for the right reason?
He grinned, and I loved that he could do thatthat he could remind me of good times in the middle of the worst times wed ever experienced. You may remember that I kissed my brothers girlfriend.
The way I remember it, she kissed you.
I kissed her back. A lot. Things escalated from there. Drama. Heartbreak. It was quite the scandal.
I let my fingers trail down his bare arm while he took another drink, then he set both cups on the fridge again. Do you ever regret it?
No. Not even for a second. Kissing you back may have been the wrong thing to do, but I did it for the right reason. I dont ever want you to doubt that. This... He put one hand over my heart, and I could tell from the sudden swell of color in his eyes that he could feel it beating. Us... Were right. This is the way things are supposed to be, Kaylee. Dont tell me you cant feel that. I can see it in your eyes.
I know. Do you think...? I mean, it sounds stupid, but your mom said it was true for my parents.... I blinked and could almost feel myself blush. Do you think well ever be soul mates?
I think we already are. The blues in his eyes spun so fast they made me dizzy. I remember the exact moment you took a piece of my soul. I felt it.
I held my breath, which, as it turns out, is completely different than simply ceasing to breathe. When? The word carried no sound, yet he heard it.
When I found you on your bed, bleeding out. I knew you were going to die. Id been trying toprepare myself for it, but when the moment came, I couldnt let you go. I knew I couldnt stop it, but at the same time I knew that if you died, youd have to take me with you, because I couldnt be here without you.
My heart beat so hard my entire body shook with each thump.
Thats why Levi was able to get me back, Kaylee. Did Madeline tell you?
I shook my head. I didnt quite understand what he was trying to say, but I could feel the reality of it slipping into place inside me, like all great, irrefutable truths.
He turned in my soul after he reaped it, but they couldnt process it because it wasnt whole. Id given part of it to you. He was on his way to untangle the rest of my soul from yours when Madeline found him and asked for an audience with you. Then, when you told him to bring me back, he knew that might actually be possible, because you still had some of my soul.
Tears filled my eyes and spilled down my cheeks.
So...Im yours, Kaylee. Every single part of me, from the hands that itch to touch you to the bit of my soul that you carry. Nothing can ever change that.
I held him so tightly my arms ached and I was sure I must have been bruising him, but he didnt complain. I love you so much, and sometimes that scares the crap out of me.
Me, too. Have I told you that youre the scariest thing Ive ever seen?
I blinked in surprise. Well, thats a...nontraditional compliment. Thanks?
He laughed. Okay, that was bad phrasing, but its the truth. He ran his thumb over my lower lip, and the swirling in his irises swelled with the touch and with the thoughts behind it. This is the most frighteningly beautiful mouth I have ever seen. The most terrifyingly delicious lips I have ever tasted. These lips make me hungry for more every time I kiss them. This mouth, and the tongue inside it...they speak words I hang on to. Words that make me want to be a better man. Words I would gladly build my entire afterlife around. But they also say things that terrify me. Things that send chills all the way to my heart. They speak about dangers I cant prevent. Threats I cant always see. They threaten to do things that could get you hurt, when every single beat of my heart tells me that I need to protect you.
I stared at him, stunned, and he leaned in to kiss me again, softly. Almost chastely.
This mouth scares the afterlife right out of me, Kaylee, but then every time I see these lips, or feel them, or taste them, I remember exactly why Im still here. Exactly why Ill still be here a hundred years from now. A thousand, if there are that many years in the cards for us.
Tod, I
