Craving Constellations
Page 23
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“Baby?” he questioned, his voice soft in a way I hadn’t heard in five years. “Baby? What the fuck? I’m not gonna hit you.”
He ran his hands up and down my legs, waiting for me to look at him. When I didn’t raise my head, he wrapped his arms around me and pulled my still curled-up body into his lap. I couldn’t get the tears under control, and I was embarrassed that he was seeing me like this.
“Hey, calm it down,” he whispered as he rubbed my back in slow circles. “You’re safe. That fucker’s never gonna lay another hand on ya.”
At his words, I took a shuddering breath, wrapped my arms around his waist, and pressed my forehead and eyes into his throat. He felt so good—big and strong and safe. I didn’t ever want to climb out of his lap again, and he seemed to agree. When I pulled my legs down into a more comfortable position, his arms tightened around my back in warning.
“Stay where you are. Just ’cause you turned into a sobbing mess, don’t mean you get to escape again.”
I could hear the smile in his voice.
“You’re such a jackass.” I giggled a little in response. “I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I usually don’t burst into tears at the slightest provocation.”
“Eh, you’ve had a rough month. Don’t worry about it.” He started rubbing my back again. “We gotta figure this shit out though, Brenna. I’m still so pissed at you for keeping her from me. That’s so fucked.”
“I know,” I sighed. “I’m sorry for not telling you who I was. At first, I was going to, and then I was just so afraid you would stop if you knew. I figured, what was one night? And then, it all changed. You were different than I thought. I wanted more, but I knew I’d fucked-up, and if I said anything, my pop was going to kill you—”
“That shit’s water under the bridge. It’s over. Was I pissed? Yeah. But it’s over.” His hand gripped my hip as he spoke, and when he was finished, he started rubbing my back again. “I wanna know about Trix and how you ended up with that douche bag.”
“I met Tony in college. We dated a bit, but I was busy during my senior year, and we sort of just stopped seeing each other. We weren’t together when I met you, just to be clear.” I looked up at him, and he nodded. “I thought he was hot, but there was no spark, you know? It was all sort of boring. When I got back to school, things were really busy for a while, and Tony was calling nonstop, wanting to see me. I had other shit to do, so I blew him off all the time. But then, when I realized our fun had some consequences, I needed a friend, so I called him up.”
Dragon’s body went completely still. “And he just welcomed you with open arms even though you fucked someone else and were carrying another man’s kid?”
“I wasn’t sure how he would react at first, but yeah, he just sort of stepped right in. I was thankful, you know? That he would step up like that. I was a mess. I missed you, I missed my pop, and I didn’t know what the hell to do. If I should come back or not? When he asked me to marry him, it just seemed like the easiest choice.”
At my last sentence, Dragon dropped his arms, leaned away from me, and pressed against the couch. “Why the fuck didn’t you come to me, Brenna? I woulda taken care of you! What the fuck? You just forget about me? Just decide to pretend you didn’t fuck me any way you could get me?”
Since he wasn’t holding me, I stood up and took a step away. “I don’t want this life! I don’t want to deal with club whores and my man going out on runs and being in danger all the time. I don’t want to visit you in prison. I don’t want Trix to have this life!”
“Ah, so you just decided you’re too good for this life. I get it. Too good for me, too good for your pop, too good for Slider and Vera. So, instead, you marry some fuckin’ psychopath. Fuckin’ smart move, Brenna. Genius.” His voice had risen, and he was standing so that we were only a couple inches apart. “Tell me, what makes you think you’re so much fuckin’ better than us because it sure as shit isn’t your fuckin’ common sense!”
“I don’t think I’m better than you! My pop is a good man, no matter what he does for a living, and Slider and Vera love me. I’m not better than them!”
“Oh, so it’s just me then?” Dragon started to chuckle low and mean as he rubbed the back of his neck. “You know what your dad did in Ireland? Why he just up and moved here?”
“No. We don’t talk about it, but obviously, you have something to say.” I folded my arms across my chest. This was going nowhere, and he had taken everything completely out of context.
“Your Pop? You know the ‘good man’ you were talkin’ about? He was known as the Butcher of Dublin. A fuckin’ hit man.”
I was shaking my head. “What are you talking about?” I couldn’t even wrap my head around what he’d just said, but he was still talking.
“Your dad was a hit man, Brenna. He killed people for money. He was deep in one of the clubs over there, and when things got too hot, he came out here and hooked up with Slider’s pop.”
“Why are you telling me this?”
I couldn’t understand why he would bring this up now. I’d always known that my pop had a past. It wasn’t something that was hidden; we just didn’t talk about it. This explained so many things in my childhood, and I was going to talk to Pop about it soon, but seriously, why was he bringing it up?
He ran his hands up and down my legs, waiting for me to look at him. When I didn’t raise my head, he wrapped his arms around me and pulled my still curled-up body into his lap. I couldn’t get the tears under control, and I was embarrassed that he was seeing me like this.
“Hey, calm it down,” he whispered as he rubbed my back in slow circles. “You’re safe. That fucker’s never gonna lay another hand on ya.”
At his words, I took a shuddering breath, wrapped my arms around his waist, and pressed my forehead and eyes into his throat. He felt so good—big and strong and safe. I didn’t ever want to climb out of his lap again, and he seemed to agree. When I pulled my legs down into a more comfortable position, his arms tightened around my back in warning.
“Stay where you are. Just ’cause you turned into a sobbing mess, don’t mean you get to escape again.”
I could hear the smile in his voice.
“You’re such a jackass.” I giggled a little in response. “I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I usually don’t burst into tears at the slightest provocation.”
“Eh, you’ve had a rough month. Don’t worry about it.” He started rubbing my back again. “We gotta figure this shit out though, Brenna. I’m still so pissed at you for keeping her from me. That’s so fucked.”
“I know,” I sighed. “I’m sorry for not telling you who I was. At first, I was going to, and then I was just so afraid you would stop if you knew. I figured, what was one night? And then, it all changed. You were different than I thought. I wanted more, but I knew I’d fucked-up, and if I said anything, my pop was going to kill you—”
“That shit’s water under the bridge. It’s over. Was I pissed? Yeah. But it’s over.” His hand gripped my hip as he spoke, and when he was finished, he started rubbing my back again. “I wanna know about Trix and how you ended up with that douche bag.”
“I met Tony in college. We dated a bit, but I was busy during my senior year, and we sort of just stopped seeing each other. We weren’t together when I met you, just to be clear.” I looked up at him, and he nodded. “I thought he was hot, but there was no spark, you know? It was all sort of boring. When I got back to school, things were really busy for a while, and Tony was calling nonstop, wanting to see me. I had other shit to do, so I blew him off all the time. But then, when I realized our fun had some consequences, I needed a friend, so I called him up.”
Dragon’s body went completely still. “And he just welcomed you with open arms even though you fucked someone else and were carrying another man’s kid?”
“I wasn’t sure how he would react at first, but yeah, he just sort of stepped right in. I was thankful, you know? That he would step up like that. I was a mess. I missed you, I missed my pop, and I didn’t know what the hell to do. If I should come back or not? When he asked me to marry him, it just seemed like the easiest choice.”
At my last sentence, Dragon dropped his arms, leaned away from me, and pressed against the couch. “Why the fuck didn’t you come to me, Brenna? I woulda taken care of you! What the fuck? You just forget about me? Just decide to pretend you didn’t fuck me any way you could get me?”
Since he wasn’t holding me, I stood up and took a step away. “I don’t want this life! I don’t want to deal with club whores and my man going out on runs and being in danger all the time. I don’t want to visit you in prison. I don’t want Trix to have this life!”
“Ah, so you just decided you’re too good for this life. I get it. Too good for me, too good for your pop, too good for Slider and Vera. So, instead, you marry some fuckin’ psychopath. Fuckin’ smart move, Brenna. Genius.” His voice had risen, and he was standing so that we were only a couple inches apart. “Tell me, what makes you think you’re so much fuckin’ better than us because it sure as shit isn’t your fuckin’ common sense!”
“I don’t think I’m better than you! My pop is a good man, no matter what he does for a living, and Slider and Vera love me. I’m not better than them!”
“Oh, so it’s just me then?” Dragon started to chuckle low and mean as he rubbed the back of his neck. “You know what your dad did in Ireland? Why he just up and moved here?”
“No. We don’t talk about it, but obviously, you have something to say.” I folded my arms across my chest. This was going nowhere, and he had taken everything completely out of context.
“Your Pop? You know the ‘good man’ you were talkin’ about? He was known as the Butcher of Dublin. A fuckin’ hit man.”
I was shaking my head. “What are you talking about?” I couldn’t even wrap my head around what he’d just said, but he was still talking.
“Your dad was a hit man, Brenna. He killed people for money. He was deep in one of the clubs over there, and when things got too hot, he came out here and hooked up with Slider’s pop.”
“Why are you telling me this?”
I couldn’t understand why he would bring this up now. I’d always known that my pop had a past. It wasn’t something that was hidden; we just didn’t talk about it. This explained so many things in my childhood, and I was going to talk to Pop about it soon, but seriously, why was he bringing it up?
