Laces and Lace
Page 159

Karson’s lip quivered as he nodded his head. He knew this; it wasn’t any damn secret, but why couldn’t she realize this? “She thinks we are too different now, and then she doesn’t want to have kids because they could get the cancer she had, but I want them. She is using that as an excuse. She’s just scared, and I don’t know how to fix it.”
“Can you blame her? She wears the scars of the cancer every day, son. I hope you aren’t pushing her into that.”
“No, not at all. I told her I didn’t need kids, I needed her.”
“Then why is she being stupid?”
“I don’t know!” Karson yelled. “She’s driving me insane. She said that she isn’t the woman I deserve.”
“Well, that’s dumb. She’s more than you’ll ever deserve. I love her like she is mine, but I get it. Cancer ruins people, and in her mind, hers took every single bit of her womanhood. Your job as her husband is to reassure her that isn’t the case.”
“I’m trying, but she isn’t listening to me.”
“Then you’re not trying hard enough.”
“Dad—”
“No. Don’t call back until you have your wife back,” he said and then the line went dead. Dropping his phone in his lap, Karson ran his hands down his face, sucking in a deep breath. As he opened his eyes, they landed on a picture of him and Lacey at their wedding, both of them locked in each other’s gaze, completely blissful. Beside it was another picture of them in college, young and entirely in love.
She was his forever.
And he wasn’t going to let her throw that away.
He had done it once before, and he wasn’t about to have a repeat performance
He was going to bring his wife home.
Or fucking die trying.
Lacey hadn’t slept all night.
Sitting on her couch with her legs up under her chin, she sipped on her coffee as she replayed her and Karson’s conversation over and over again. Tears rolled down her face as her chest ached with agony. While a part of her thought it was a good idea to end things, the other parts thought she was insane. She understood what he was saying, agreed with him, but the fear of not being enough just gutted her.
She wanted to believe in them, and she had until she learned of his need for a child. How she didn’t remember that from when they were in school was beyond her, but now that she knew, it wouldn’t be fair to him to stay with him. He may say that she was enough, but it was obvious how much he yearned for a child of his own. He loved kids, and she would be depriving him of his wants and needs.
Leaning her head back, her lip quivered as she looked up at the ceiling. If this was the best choice, then why did it hurt so badly? Why did she feel like she was making the biggest mistake of her life? God, she missed him. She wanted to call him, but she wouldn’t allow herself. He had a way of making things seem like they weren’t a big deal—he had always been like that—but this was a big deal. She wasn’t right for him.
But then she didn’t think anyone was. For him or for her. They were born to be together, but then her cancer ruined any chance of a future together. She wished she could go back to when she was young and naïve, when the thought of having a child with Karson took her breath away instead of scaring her to the core. She wished that they wouldn’t have to live apart.
She wished they didn’t have to now, but she really saw no other way.
Wiping away her tears, she took a sip of her coffee when she heard a knock at her door. Glancing at the clock, she saw it was a little past seven. Unsure who it could be, she slowly got up, and when she reached for the door, she thought maybe it would be Karson.
Part of her was elated at the thought.
The other part was terrified.
With her heart in her throat, she pulled the door open to find Grady on the other side, bundled up in a jacket.
“Oh, hey,” she muttered as she stepped to the side so he could enter.
“Good morning,” he said as she shut the door. “You look like hell.”
Lacey scoffed. “Thanks.”
“Anytime,” he said, taking his jacket off.
“Listen, I’m not in the mood for company. Rough night,” she said, but he didn’t pause from taking his jacket off.
Throwing it to the side, he turned to look at her and said, “Yeah, I don’t care. We need to talk because I’m pretty sure you are making a huge mistake.”
“Huh?” she asked as he dropped his large self into the chair by her couch.
“Rachel said that you told Karson you weren’t coming home. Is that true?”
She nodded as she sat down on her couch, crossing her legs as she wrapped up tightly with her blanket. “Yeah.”
“Why? That’s idiotic, don’t you think?”
Biting the side of her lip, she shook her head. “He’s better off without me.”
“Why’s that? ’Cause I’m pretty sure we both think otherwise.”
“I don’t belong in Nashville. I haven’t adjusted, and I miss Chicago and my business, and it’s been tough.”
“Last I heard, you were adjusting well and things were fine. Opening a new store and shit, so stop with that crap and tell me the real reason,” he demanded, leaning on his forearms. “You know I don’t do bullshit.”
And he was right. Grady didn’t do bullshit. Never had. Holding back her tears, she whispered, “I don’t want to have kids of my own.”