Then I thought about him and Truffle Woman and a lick of anger touched me; I’d been adamant that I’d never forgive him. But what mattered more – my self-righteousness, or the truth? And I had to admit that I hadn’t been perfect either.
That’s the thing with relationships, I understood. It doesn’t mean we don’t hurt one another; how can we help it sometimes, we’re only human? But if you love someone, you get hurt and you manage to forgive. And be forgiven. Garv had come to forgive me and I’d given him the bum’s rush.
I rolled on to my back and stared up at the purplish night sky. Then I realized what Garv had smelt of when I’d hugged him goodbye earlier. He’d smelt of home.
‘No stars tonight,’ I said.
But the stars are always there, even in the daytime. Sometimes we just can’t see them.
I sprang up. ‘I’ve got to go.’
48
I drove fast, but all the stoplights were against me and it took nearly an hour to get to the Ocean View. I did one of my worst pieces of parking ever on the sidewalk outside and hurried into the tile-floored lobby. And who should I meet? Only Mum, Dad, Helen and Anna. I later discovered they’d been to the cinema.
‘I thought you were out with Shay Delaney,’ Mum said in surprise.
‘I was.’
‘Then what are you doing here?’
‘Looking for Garv.’
‘What for?’ Her face was suddenly mutinous.
I didn’t answer and she said hotly, ‘If he can be unfaithful once, he’ll do it again.’
The desk clerk followed this exchange with great interest. ‘Hi,’ I said. ‘Can you ring Paul Garvan’s room for me, please?’
‘He checked out.’
My heart thumped hard. ‘When?’
‘About an hour ago.’
‘Where was he going?’
‘Home to Iowa.’
‘Right, thanks, I’ll get him at the airport.’
But when I turned around, Mum was blocking me. She drew herself up to her full height. ‘You are not to go after him!’
‘Don’t, pet, for me,’ Dad beseeched.
‘Margaret, you’re not to go!’
I stared at the two of them, stared long and confused, then said, ‘My name is Maggie and just watch me.’
As I raced back to the car, there was the clatter of feet running after me. It was Anna. ‘I’ll come with you,’ she said breathlessly. She jumped in beside me, slammed the car door shut and pulled on her seatbelt. ‘Hit it!’
The journey seemed to take for ever, the traffic was very heavy for that time of night and, despite the spells Anna muttered, the stoplights were still against me.
‘What airline do you think he flew?’ I asked Anna, hoping for some sixth-sense action.
‘American Airlines?’
‘Maybe, unless he came through London, like I did.’
‘Maggie, what about the other girl?’
‘Gone.’
‘But will you be able to forgive him for it?’
‘Yeah, I think so. I hope so. The thing is, I wasn’t without fault either.’
‘And that makes it easier?’
‘Yes, I love him, we’ll work it out.’ Then I added, ‘Mind you, if he ever does it again, he is so dead.’
‘Good for you. I always thought you and him were perfect for each other.’
‘Did you?’
‘Didn’t you?’
‘I have to say,’ I admitted, ‘there were times I had my doubts. I sometimes wondered if I was a wild girl who’d settled for a safe marriage.’
Anna sniggered and I gave an inquiring look. ‘Sorry,’ she said. ‘It’s just you… wild. Sorry.’
After a few seconds I said, ‘It’s OK. Because while I’ve been here I’ve tried being a bit wild and I just couldn’t take to it.’
‘Did you really get off with Lara or were you just winding Helen up?’
‘I really did.’
‘God Almighty’
‘But the point I’m making is I wasn’t playing it safe when I married Garv. This is the way I really am!’ ‘Plain yoghurt at room temperature?’
‘Um…’
‘Plain yoghurt at room temperature and proud of it?’
I thought about it. ‘How about plain yoghurt with raspberry puree at the bottom? I’d settle for that.’
‘More interesting than you initially seem?’
‘Exactly.’
‘Has hidden depths.’
‘Yes! I might even get a T-shirt saying it.’
‘Two. One for Garv as well.’
‘If we find him,’ I said, my stomach tightening with fear. ‘And if he doesn’t tell me to fuck off.’
We finally reached LAX, and after some more truly atrocious parking, we ran into Departures. But when I asked the American Airlines check-in girl if she could tell me if Garv was on the flight, she said, ‘I can’t give out that information.’
‘I’m his wife,’ I begged.
‘I don’t care if you’re the Dalai Lama.’
‘It’s urgent.’
‘So is my need to use the bathroom, but there’s nothing I can do about that either.’
‘Come on,’ Anna pulled me. ‘We’ll see if we can get him at the gate.’
LAX is huge and always crowded, no matter what time of the day or night it is. Panting, Anna and I ran through the throng, bouncing off people like pinballs. For a few frustrating minutes we got entangled in a flock of Hare Krishnas, and had to slow down to their pace, as they hopped and chanted. One of them even tried to give me a tambourine, before we managed to break free and begin sprinting again.
‘What’s he wearing?’ Anna gasped.
‘Jeans and a T-shirt. At least, that’s what he was wearing earlier – he might have changed.’
‘Is that him?’ Anna said and my heart nearly jumped out of my mouth. But the man she was pointing at was an African-American.
‘Sorry,’ she said. ‘I just saw jeans and T-shirt and jumped to conclusions.’
We raced in and out of all the shops and bars in Departures, and Garv was nowhere to be seen. The only place left to check was his actual gate, but without boarding cards we couldn’t get past the barrier and the woman official was so not interested in our story.
That’s the thing with relationships, I understood. It doesn’t mean we don’t hurt one another; how can we help it sometimes, we’re only human? But if you love someone, you get hurt and you manage to forgive. And be forgiven. Garv had come to forgive me and I’d given him the bum’s rush.
I rolled on to my back and stared up at the purplish night sky. Then I realized what Garv had smelt of when I’d hugged him goodbye earlier. He’d smelt of home.
‘No stars tonight,’ I said.
But the stars are always there, even in the daytime. Sometimes we just can’t see them.
I sprang up. ‘I’ve got to go.’
48
I drove fast, but all the stoplights were against me and it took nearly an hour to get to the Ocean View. I did one of my worst pieces of parking ever on the sidewalk outside and hurried into the tile-floored lobby. And who should I meet? Only Mum, Dad, Helen and Anna. I later discovered they’d been to the cinema.
‘I thought you were out with Shay Delaney,’ Mum said in surprise.
‘I was.’
‘Then what are you doing here?’
‘Looking for Garv.’
‘What for?’ Her face was suddenly mutinous.
I didn’t answer and she said hotly, ‘If he can be unfaithful once, he’ll do it again.’
The desk clerk followed this exchange with great interest. ‘Hi,’ I said. ‘Can you ring Paul Garvan’s room for me, please?’
‘He checked out.’
My heart thumped hard. ‘When?’
‘About an hour ago.’
‘Where was he going?’
‘Home to Iowa.’
‘Right, thanks, I’ll get him at the airport.’
But when I turned around, Mum was blocking me. She drew herself up to her full height. ‘You are not to go after him!’
‘Don’t, pet, for me,’ Dad beseeched.
‘Margaret, you’re not to go!’
I stared at the two of them, stared long and confused, then said, ‘My name is Maggie and just watch me.’
As I raced back to the car, there was the clatter of feet running after me. It was Anna. ‘I’ll come with you,’ she said breathlessly. She jumped in beside me, slammed the car door shut and pulled on her seatbelt. ‘Hit it!’
The journey seemed to take for ever, the traffic was very heavy for that time of night and, despite the spells Anna muttered, the stoplights were still against me.
‘What airline do you think he flew?’ I asked Anna, hoping for some sixth-sense action.
‘American Airlines?’
‘Maybe, unless he came through London, like I did.’
‘Maggie, what about the other girl?’
‘Gone.’
‘But will you be able to forgive him for it?’
‘Yeah, I think so. I hope so. The thing is, I wasn’t without fault either.’
‘And that makes it easier?’
‘Yes, I love him, we’ll work it out.’ Then I added, ‘Mind you, if he ever does it again, he is so dead.’
‘Good for you. I always thought you and him were perfect for each other.’
‘Did you?’
‘Didn’t you?’
‘I have to say,’ I admitted, ‘there were times I had my doubts. I sometimes wondered if I was a wild girl who’d settled for a safe marriage.’
Anna sniggered and I gave an inquiring look. ‘Sorry,’ she said. ‘It’s just you… wild. Sorry.’
After a few seconds I said, ‘It’s OK. Because while I’ve been here I’ve tried being a bit wild and I just couldn’t take to it.’
‘Did you really get off with Lara or were you just winding Helen up?’
‘I really did.’
‘God Almighty’
‘But the point I’m making is I wasn’t playing it safe when I married Garv. This is the way I really am!’ ‘Plain yoghurt at room temperature?’
‘Um…’
‘Plain yoghurt at room temperature and proud of it?’
I thought about it. ‘How about plain yoghurt with raspberry puree at the bottom? I’d settle for that.’
‘More interesting than you initially seem?’
‘Exactly.’
‘Has hidden depths.’
‘Yes! I might even get a T-shirt saying it.’
‘Two. One for Garv as well.’
‘If we find him,’ I said, my stomach tightening with fear. ‘And if he doesn’t tell me to fuck off.’
We finally reached LAX, and after some more truly atrocious parking, we ran into Departures. But when I asked the American Airlines check-in girl if she could tell me if Garv was on the flight, she said, ‘I can’t give out that information.’
‘I’m his wife,’ I begged.
‘I don’t care if you’re the Dalai Lama.’
‘It’s urgent.’
‘So is my need to use the bathroom, but there’s nothing I can do about that either.’
‘Come on,’ Anna pulled me. ‘We’ll see if we can get him at the gate.’
LAX is huge and always crowded, no matter what time of the day or night it is. Panting, Anna and I ran through the throng, bouncing off people like pinballs. For a few frustrating minutes we got entangled in a flock of Hare Krishnas, and had to slow down to their pace, as they hopped and chanted. One of them even tried to give me a tambourine, before we managed to break free and begin sprinting again.
‘What’s he wearing?’ Anna gasped.
‘Jeans and a T-shirt. At least, that’s what he was wearing earlier – he might have changed.’
‘Is that him?’ Anna said and my heart nearly jumped out of my mouth. But the man she was pointing at was an African-American.
‘Sorry,’ she said. ‘I just saw jeans and T-shirt and jumped to conclusions.’
We raced in and out of all the shops and bars in Departures, and Garv was nowhere to be seen. The only place left to check was his actual gate, but without boarding cards we couldn’t get past the barrier and the woman official was so not interested in our story.
